How can I help my child? Her father and I are splitting up.?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have a 6 year old daughter. Although I don't want to split up, he does. We still care about each other and love our daughter sooo much. We we're just very young when we got together and I guess we want different things. We have agreed to work together and always put her first and remain friends. I would just like advice on how to handle this in the best way possible. Also if anyone who has experienced this from a child's perspective and had an experience that is as good as can be under the circumstances, what did your parents do that really helped? Thanks for any advice.

Answer 1

Never run the other parent down in front of the child!
Always try your best to "work together", and get along.
Let her know EVERY day that she is loved.
Let her know every day that she is NOT the cause of this separation.
Make sure he gets to see her often, and spend time with her.
Make sure he pays child support.

Answer 2

Both parents should be involved equally in the child's life, and should make joint decisions regarding any issues that come up. If your child feels secure in the knowledge that both parents love her, it will keep her emotionally healthy. She should never have to choose sides between you two.

Always speak positively about the father in the child's presence. If you have physical custody, be absolutely open to the time the father shares with her.

You are truly a blessing for asking how to help your child - a lot of mothers are only concerned about getting a support check every month.

Answer 3

it's sooo nice to see both parents considering the best interest of the child,good for you,both of you sit down with her and explain that no matter what ,you both love her and it is not in any way her fault but, you will no longer be living together,let her see that you still care about each other and will always be friends,and both of you spend as much time with her as possible during the transition and she'll get through it just fine.good luck

Answer 4

Sweetie I know its very hard esp. when it comes to our children, but like what you said,you both love your daughter very much, from there you can start, you need to tell your boyfriend to help you talk to her. She's on this age that she will think that it will be her fault why the two of you wants to separate. Sit with her and the two of you needs to tell her how much she is love by both of you,tell her the reason why her daddy will not stay with you is because both of you are working some problem that adults need to do. Just tell her its adult situation and she doesn't have anything to do with it, then tell her that if you and daddy do not work on this adult problem it will be sad. If you can tell her this then she will know that its not her, only big people problem..

Answer 5

Make sure that your daughter understand that you both lover her very much and its not her fault. Kids need to be told the truth but still understand you both love her. Also be there for her for the next several weeks as she will have different emotional mood swings. But once again just make sure you and the ex tell her its not her fault and you both love her very much.

Answer 6

Besure to look at each other as co-parents then ex's then. Reassure your daughter that you both love her and that you and her father have dreams and plans that seem to lead down diffrent roads and you love and respect eachother enough to allow each other to follow their seperate roads, just be sure to tell her that both of you will be there for her. You both should be there when this is being told to her and both should verbally tell her and reassure her. She will be fine as long as she see's that her parents are happy and in a healthy life style. You and her father are bound in a form of a relationship for many more years to come, but that relationship is what you and he choose to make of it.

Answer 7

All of you need to go to therapy.