I don't have kids and I'm not sure how I can help and be supportive as my friends just had their baby 2 months early. Baby will be in the hospital for several weeks - that must depress a new Mom not to have their baby at home. And I am sure they are scared to death - this is their first child. I want to be there for them, but not intrude.
Suggestions are GREATLY appreciated.
2007-06-26 09:37:37 · 9 answers · asked by nova_queen_28 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I had my son 13 weeks early last October, so I can tell you firsthand things people did that I loved and also things I wish people had done for me.
They are going to be at the hospital - A LOT - so offer do to errands that will take them away from their little miracle. If they have to go somewhere to pay a bill, offer to take it for them. If they need to pick up drycleaning, or a few groceries, offer to do it for them. Think of SPECIFIC things they may need done and ask if they need it done, most days the most mundane are the last thing on your mind and you tend to forget about everyday stuff until it's the middle of the night.
Cook them some casseroles or foods that would freeze well, another things parents of a baby in the hospital tend to overlook is their own nutrition. If they have something tasty and easy to eat, they will more than likely be better able to keep up their strength, which believe me, they will need.
And you are right....I can assure you they are scared. Terrified, especially if this is their first baby. Just being there for them and letting them know they have someone to call on day or night will be a comfort.
If one of them is spending more time than the other at the hospital, offer to take them out for a coffee or something away from the hospital. Assure them that the baby is in the best of care and that they need to get away every once in awhile to keep their sanity. Also these tiny babies sometimes just need quiet time to rest, and they can sense tension next to them.
You might go to Wal Mart and get a Gerber Preemie Essentials Pack if the little one has no clothes to fit. I had all kinds of big clothes that didn't fit my tiny 2 pounder, so I was thrilled to receive the Essential pack - it has tiny pj's, t-shirts, onesies, and a hat, booties, and mittens. It meant so much to me to finally be able to put little clothes on my boy like a "regular" baby.
You might bring the parent that spends the most time in the hospital a stack of magazines or puzzle books they might like. Time draaaags in the NICU.
You might also bring a calendar with space on each day for them to make notes of what happens that day. The hours and days will blur and they will forget a lot of what happens if they don't write it down.
Offer to send an email with updates to friends and/or family members, so that they don't have to make 50 calls a day updating everyone. If she can tell you what happens every couple of days you can sent out a newsletter to everyone to keep them informed, and then print out the letters you sent with the responses and put them in a book to look at later.
The best advice I can give you is just to stay positive. It always meant the most to me when people would say that everything would be fine -- platitudes, I know, but it always helped to hear a smile and a positive attitude in someone's voice.
You are a good friend to be concerned. I will pray for your friends, I know they are going through probably the roughest thing they will ever go through. With friends like you what will be a hard road will be made a little easier.
2007-06-26 09:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by shannon ! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had a preemie, i needed a friend to sit at the hospital with me, lots of people come to visit the first week or two, then i sat up at the hospital alone 16 hrs per day and my baby was too little to hold, it is really hard, drive mom to the hospital, bring her an ice-cream sundae. look for a preemie cloths website so the baby will have something cute to wear, the preemie cloths at normal stores don't fit till the baby is about 5 lbs. you won't be intruding by hanging out at the hospital, especially after all the other friends have forgotten about it and are going on with their lives. buy mom a journal so she can record the hospital stay and the firsts : bottle, bath, breathing on own, i.v.s out, hearing tests, xrays...
bottom line is don't forget she needs a friend! you sound like a really good friend! and don't say rude things about the baby looking like an alein or something...
here is a website with preemie cloths that are NICU friendly. that can be worn while having an I.V.
http://www.preemie.com/Preemie-NICU-Wear_c_29-1.html
2007-06-26 09:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by karateJenn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pre-make them some easy to heat dinners that can be kept in the fridge or freezer, offer to run errands or do some chores like the laundry so that they can spend as much time with their baby as possible. Mom will be going through a rollercoaster of emotions, the more time she can spend at the hospital bonding the better. I think the hospital staff are better suited to help the parents cope emotionally, just be a good friend.
2007-06-26 09:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by Panda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer, my twins were preemies and it was so hard leaving the hospital without them!!! I know that my mother in law cleaned our apartment and that was a great help because I was in no state to do anything, recovering from the birth emotionally and physically. When their baby does come home, they will have no time to clean house or sleep. Offer them your help, let them rest and get ready to welcome their new bundle of joy home soon!
2007-06-26 09:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of twin girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them a call and ask if they need anything. Bring by a homemade meal for them, a little premie outfit, some bottles of water, snacks (hospital survival kit lol)... Let them know that if you can help in anyway, do not hesitate to call. You'll run errands, house sit, feed the cats, clean the kitchen... just be there for them.
2007-06-26 09:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they are spending a lot of time at the hospital why not offer to bring them dinner to the hospital or offer to clean their home. I am sure not much is getting done around the house and they will appreciate being able to bring their daughter home and not having to worry about cleaning. If they have pets offer to pet sit for them so that is one less worry. Make sure you tell her that anytime she is at home and lonely to call you and vent.
2007-06-26 10:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my aunts baby was born premie everyone was terrified and she was reallysad having to sit in the NICU all day. So [with the permission of the hospital staff] my brother and I used washable window paint to deocrate the incubator thing a little bit. We just wrote the babies name on it and some hearts and stars. But it lightened up the mood alot.
2007-06-26 10:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its gunna be hard for them and they will probably not be home much, offer to feed family pets or cook them dinner for when they are home. Ask them if there are any last minute things you can pick up and tell them that you are there if they need anything or just want to talk.
Being with them is probably going to be the best gift you can give them
2007-06-26 09:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure I can give you much advice, but I wanted to let you know that you sound like a great friend by wanting to help...Maybe just letting your friend know that you are there for him/her for whatever they need is just what they need to hear and if they do need anything they know who to ask..
Everyone needs a caring friend like you! Good luck to your friend and their family.
2007-06-26 10:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by Momma to Kaeden Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋