How do you become not co-dependent?

Question

How do people learn to not be co-depenent? I would love to feel good on my own. I always need a significant other to feel good and then when I am with someone I always tend to give too much of myself to satisfy the other. How do you cure this problem?

Answer 1

If you want to go East, don't go West..

In other words, take a break from dating (for as long as it takes) and find yourself so that you won't have to depend on your partner for self-esteem.

Answer 2

People treat you the way you teach them to treat you.

First, you have to imagine or "Invision" how you want to be treated. Nothing's for free ... so in this vision you need to see where you can compromise and bend.

Then you have to observe yourself from a "Third Party" point of view. You have to be able to identify where you're teaching people to stay by your side. Then you need to take small steps to change this; big steps will frighten you and your partner.

Let your partner know you want to change. Share with them what you want, what you can give up ... and talk. This process might be many discussions or a few ... and you may need to re-do it many times too ... kinda like, OK, we tried it, but it failed here ... so, lets make adjustments.

Answer 3

You have to have higher self esteem you got to think why do you think your unworhty of someone good. People can smell weakness and will take advantage of you to get ahead in many ways. Like in the animal Kingdom the weaker ones get ate by the rest. When u know your own self worth so shall others.

Answer 4

By developing pure friendships with people rather than relationships. Do some volutary work for organisations, it will help to build your self confidence and then you will be more self relient and fufilled in life.