I am getting married in a month. Any advice?

Question

i am DEFINETLY getting married...for those who are telling me not to.
so i need some REAL advice here if you guys arent gonna be serious.

Answer 1

1) Communicate, communicate, communicate! But there's a line--know when what you are thinking is irrational and when it's important to dicuss. If you want him to bring home flowers, ask him! Don't expect him to read your mind.

2) Expect some moments of not-so maritial bliss. Marriage isn't easy, and you need to prepare yourself for those rough times.

3) Don't give up. If things are getting bad, just keep working at it instead of saying "no. I don't want to do this any longer."

4) Work on trusting and communicating, as well as being honest and expecting honesty in return. Love isn't all you need to make this work.

5) Don't put kids into the equation until your relationship has become very strong and you can say that you have a steady job and little debt.

Answer 2

1. Let the wedding be the way you and your fiance want it. It's all fine and dandy to take the feelings of others into consideration, but it is YOUR memories and YOUR day. It should be YOUR way.

2. Don't sweat the small stuff. Things will happen on your day that might not go as planned. Just focus on WHY you are there and enjoy your day without worrying if it is perfect.

3. Take unsolicited advice and say thank you for the advice. You don't have to agree with everything that is said, but if you at least thank the person giving the advice, then they will not feel compelled to pursue the issue further because they will feel like you are listening to what they are saying.

4. Don't let anyone come between you and your spouse. If you have children, certainly their emotional well-being should come into play and be considered, but don't allow kids to manipulate you. Don't allow parents or siblings to manipulate you either. While it is true that in a way, you marry the family as well as the person you are marrying, the marriage is a union between 2 people. Nobody should interfere with your relationship, and if anyone tries, then that should be nipped in the bud. Work things out together - the two of you and be a united front.

5. Treat each other with respect and trust. When you love someone, you have to allow them to be themself and to trust them. It's important to show them respect and think of their needs and wishes as well as your own. If both people do this for each other in a marriage, they will be happy.

6. Enjoy your wedding day and the rest of your lives together! Congratulations!!!

Answer 3

First of all let me say that I love being married. I have been married for almost 10 years and am more in love with him than when I married him. My nuggets of wisdom:

1) Don't feel like you need to have children to make your 'family' complete. Children are incredibly stressful and I'm thankful everyday that we don't have any. That's one of the things that make our marriage work, because when we come home in the evening, we spend time together, not running to soccer practice, giving baths, making lunches, etc

2) "Happy hellos and loving goodbyes" If your husband comes home when you're already there, try to stop what you're doing and greet him. Just say "Hey, Honey. Glad you're home." This helps to make your home a place he WANTS to come home to. And when he leaves, try to send him off with a kiss and an "I love you." You never know what the last words you will say to him will be.

3) Speak kindly to each other. If he takes out the trash (even if it's his job) say thank you. When you ask him to do something (even if it's his job) say please.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 4

I WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD! I get so excited when I hear about impending marriages--I truly hope the both of you are happy for years and years to come.

As far as advice goes, I would just recommend what you're getting yourself into (as in, make sure you're not rushing into a marriage).

Other than that, definitely don't sweat the small things! I read a wonderful article once on how true love that lasts is based on commitment, trust, and great effort, even through one's old age.

Again, may your lives be blessed~

Answer 5

Never forget your wedding vows.

I read once that successful marriages aren't 50/50, they're 60/60. It was written by a priest who has performed many marriages. It sounds weird but it makes a lot of sense... if you behave as though you're giving 60% and expect only 40% back and he does the same, there will always be more than enough love and understanding between the two of you.

Good luck with your marriage, I can hardly wait til my man and I are ready to make that step.

Answer 6

Pre marital couseling usually is a good thing. They can lay out alot a good foundation for both of you to avoid common pitfalls.
Personally, as to my own marriage, the advice given to us in our first month that helped tremendously was knowing the difference between our expectations of each other and reality-

Expectations-

fighting
disagreements
discouragement
disappointment
depression

Reality-

Most of the time expectations are so high when we get married. We have preconceived notions of how things will be and become. But reality is usually much lower and everything in between our expectations and reality of one another becomes an issue of conflict. We were constantly made aware that marriage is the beginning of our growth together, and that we should make expectations of one another together.

Another great one my wife and I agreed on was to have groundrules for fighting. I know it may be wierd at first to do this with your future spouse, but it helped our butts out alot. Find out how each of you deals with conflict. Maybe one of you needs alot of time and space while the other has to deal with it right then and there. Walking away during an ongoing arguement may send the other seething mad. A common one is agreeing not to go to bed angry. Just get it out there, make a list of do's and don'ts during arguements, and you'll see your disagreements become more constructive rather than destructive.

Finally, there's a great book called The Five Love Languages. It's a Christian book, but it's for everyone! It basically explains how people express and receive love in different ways; ways that men and women didn't recognize before! For instance - the way my wife shows love is in the things she does for me. So rather than merely thinking of it as her giving me a hand or a favor, I realize how much more meaning there is in it. Just great ways not to take each other for granted. Get the book!
hope this helps

Answer 7

Double double check that this is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Have you been with him for a year? Have you seen how he acts with other people? Have you asked your parents and your siblings what they think of your guy? (this helps a lot, because a lot of the time they can see things you can't) Have you talked over whether or not you want pets and kids and all that?
If you have done all that, good luck on your big day :)

Answer 8

PATIENCE!
That is one that will get you through anything.
Understanding!
You are going to have different views.
Communication!
You have to be able to talk through the good and the bad.
Love
You may get upset, but think of the reasons you are with him in the first place.
Trust
You have to trust him to be with him, with out that, you are going to drive both of you nuts
Honesty
Know that being honest is how to build and maintain trust and love.
Respect
Know how to respect one anothers space, belongings and self.
Support
Know how to support one another in every way shape and form.
Work
Know that no marriage is going to survive with out daily maintenance. Its like buying a new car, if all you do is get in and drive it is going to run out of gas or breakdown, everyday check the oil and fluid and take it into the shop if there's a problem, look after it. If you look after your marriage with the same diligence, there is no reason you wont be able to make it a long happy life.

Answer 9

Don't do it. Nothing will be as you thought it would, and it only gets worse from there. Run away now and stay single.

UPDATE: I AM being serious. Before I got married, I thought my excellent sex life would continue. Now I'm lucky if I get it once a month. You think things are great now, but they will taper off once you get married. Trust me.

Answer 10

1. Don't listen to people who tell you to "run" or "don't do it."
If you truly love you self and your spouse, you will be great.

2. Patience...
With yourself and your spouse, if you are truly patient with yourself and with your spouse, you will be great.

3. Always come from Love.
If you come from a place of Love in every situation, you will unlock the true meaning of relationship, that is, a clearer picture of who YOU are.

Congratulations on your upcoming event. Treasure that day, you need to build every day after the wedding from there.