we have been together for almost 2 years, married only 5 months. At first he was this great loving guy, but now he is verbal and physically abusive. I have told him but he became irate so I am keeping it low. He refuse any help, but really I am tired of TV's being thrown at me & I am tired of hiding my bruises that he leaves me. I kinda feel like I have to line everything up and ESCAPE! I am secretly appling for an apartment, looking for a better job, slowly buying things and storing them either at work or at a friends house and I will have to tell my father and I hope that he puts me on his cell phone account.
Has anyone done this or helped someone get out of a very bad relationship? Is there anything else that I should do? Something that I am forgetting? I am scared and excited at the same time! Any help would be great!
I really have been patient and I am out of options, this is what is best for me and my kids - so please don't tell me tell me to stay
2007-06-26 08:34:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
please see my other question
2007-06-26 11:00:25 · update #1
That is exactly what I did. I lined everything up...the apartment, furniture, everything like that. Then, when he was at work one day, I got all of my stuff out of the house and left. I am so much happier now! Good for you for making a change.
2007-06-26 10:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing by leaving an abusive man. You do not deserve to be abused and it is a great thing that you are getting away from him. It isn't good for your children either. It worries me that he may find out before hand and do something to hurt you. Have you ever reported his abuse to the police so that it is on the record? Make sure that you get some kind of a restraining order and be watchful. Good luck. You will make it!
2007-06-26 10:13:30 · answer #2 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something similar to this (not quite as bad) was happening to my step daughter. Had the punk not ran off out of state, I surely would have been to jail. As a matter of fact, I once told him (over the phone as he was gone already) that had he not ran like a little girl, I would have been long out of jail before he ever got out of the hospital. I'm most definitely surprised that you haven't already spoken to your father. Leave this clown now before you are hurt. Don't walk, run! Should he find out what you are doing before you get moved, guess what? Now you really have problems! As far as what you are doing, in my opinion, you are doing the right thing. But you are going about it the wrong way. You can always buy what you "need" later. Also you can get a job when you find it later. Find a safe place and get those children there first! What you are doing now is giving a reason for him to strike hard should he find out (before hand) what it is that you are doing. The longer that you procrastinate, gives him more time to figure you out. Get moving! Just my opinion.
2007-06-26 08:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea I was in the exact same situation minus the kids. That makes it more urgent to leave. I slowly took things out of the house and moved it into my parents home, looked for a new home, I also had to call the cops to get me outta there. You don't have to press charges on him, but a restraining order is a good idea. Keep strong and be safe! A new life that you deserve is waiting for you. My prayers are with you, good luck!
2007-06-26 08:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jacob's Mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right things. Make sure all your ducks are in a row before you leave for the last time. I can't think of anything else at the moment but you want to think of every scenario. You should view this as an exciting time even though it is difficult.
2007-06-26 08:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by David B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not married but all I can say is stay strong and keep your mind focused on the ultimate goal which is to get you and your kids to safety --- don't turn back, just go and whatever you do, don't get back with him. I wish you all the luck and I am sure everything will be fine. Things can only get better form this moment on =)
2007-06-26 08:41:43 · answer #6 · answered by evelinka420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner you can get out the safer it will be for you and the kids. If you are sneaking and doing things what would he be like if he found out. The other thing you could do is get a restraining order for him to leave where you are living. Don't wait too long. Don't go back either if he promises to change because they don't.
2007-06-26 08:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by gutsy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUst becareful no to get caught! If i was you i would leave now with a protective order because by the sounds of it..it seems like if he found out u were doing this he'd try to prevent you from leaving and may even end up in a horrible situation maybe even dead! good luck be strong! you deserve to be treated like a human!
2007-06-26 09:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto to Brandie's message.
I also advise telling an attorney, because you will need his help with the divorce. The more people who know of the abuse, the safer you will be.
If you can stay with a friend or relative for awhile . . . just at the beginning . . . it is also safer.
Good luck to you.
2007-06-26 08:50:50 · answer #9 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait any longer and here is the number for help
National Hotline
If you or someone you know is being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE
Goodluck and God bless you.
2007-06-26 08:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋