I got married on March 6, 2007. On May 14 we found out I was pregnant, on May 18 I miscarried. 2 week s later we found out that I have a rare blood disorder that cused the miscarriage and now have to take Lovenox injections daily. Since the miscarriage all we do is fight, about everything. We can not seem to find any common ground. I love my husband, but I do not know what to do anymore. Should I throw in the towel and call it quits?
2007-06-26 08:33:19 · 26 answers · asked by sasheppard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first two years of marriage are hard enough without having to deal with children, diseases, work problems, etc. Remember that! Both of you were hurt and upset about the miscarriage, and unfortunately, you are taking it out on one another. Do something really nice for him, to remind him you still care, and to remind yourself the reasons you married him. Make a list of all the things you married him for, and why you love him so much. Sometimes guys need a little boost to get back to their "sweet" state. Just remember that if this is hard on you, imagine how hard it is for him. As a husband he most likely feels it is his fault this happened. Men tend to feel they have to save the world in order to be accpeted. He's trying to make enough money to pay for bills, and dealing with a new lifestyle called marriage and still trying to be your support system with your illness. Sometimes its just too much for one person to handle. "You don't fall in love by choice, its by chance. You don't stay in love by chance, its by work, and you don't fall out of love by chance, its by choice." Good luck, and God Bless!
2007-06-26 13:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by Andi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is obviously some stress from the miscarriage...the possibility of not being able to have children...all sorts of things. You two are both going through a lot of emotions. I married a very quiet man who shows little emotion and when we miscarried with out first child...he was through the roof. He felt responsible..like it was his fault, that he should have done something...when in fact it was just nature. Men have a difficultly truly letting those feelings out and the feeling come out usually in other areas (swept floor, dinner not done---anything) and women are so emotional that we carry everything with us all the time and we let it seep into our lives and everything is taken over. Sit down tonight and express to him that you love him and your aching for the man you married and that you want to be there for him through this time and you would like to be there with him through it. Marriage is hard...there is no running. Unless something has become physical you have to work this out...through the good times and the bad!
I wish you luck sweetie and I hope your next pregnancy goes better.
2007-06-26 08:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by Princess Gracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should give up, a miscarriage is a very big deal in a couples life, plus you have now found out about the blodd disorder.
That is a lot of stuff for a couple to go through especially so early in a marriage. (its not always roses the first few years) there are some thorns along the way.
Try talking to him and be honest about how you feel, but it is also very important that you give him the chance to express his emotions also. I think you guys will be able to work it out.
Good luck to both of you
2007-06-26 08:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by topside 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... don't throw in the towel. Sounds like you both might be under stress. I don't know how significant your pregnancy and miscarriage had been to you, or to him - but it if was significant, sad, disappointing, you name it, then you guys are probably just taking things out on each other. You need to keep trying. Maybe take a vacation together; do something out of the ordinary; get away from the everyday routine. I don't know. But there had to have been good reasons why you guys got married, and vowed to be there "for better or for worse"... sounds like the "for worse" part came much sooner that you could have expected - but you can make it... please try!
2007-06-26 08:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't throw in the towel yet! Miscarriage can be very stressful for a couple. Get some counseling and work through it. It may not work out down the road, but it is too soon to tell.
2007-06-26 08:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, don't do that! In the end, that could be the biggest mistake. You both cannot punish yourselves for this. My husband cousin is going thru the same thing. She has had 3 misscarriges and she is doing the injection thing. She has sought help in going thru counseling and that is helping her. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about finding that same kind of help. You both need someone to talk to that has been thru this before in order to make your marrige work. I have been married for a year and me and my husband argue because I can't have anymore kids. I may let him adopt my oldest 2, but its not the same. Keep doing your injections and see about some counseling help for the both of you. Remember, its not your fault this happened.
2007-06-26 08:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Losing a baby must be very difficult. My (now ex-) husband and I went through infertility issues and it was very difficult on our marriage (though it is not why we ended up splitting up). We fought a lot and I was unhappy all the time. Because of your injections you may have extra hormones racing around inside you that are causing you to be more irritable/depressed/angry than usual. You need to recognize that and try to be less critical and he needs to recognize that and try to be more patient. Don't give up on your marriage! Get counseling and be open with each other. Allow for little irritations -- they're going to happen. Give him the best you have -- that's all you can do.
2007-06-26 08:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 03:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two need to talk to someone about your lose. One of the hardest thing you can go through in life is losing a child. As hard as this is to say he probably blames you in some since for the loss, even though it wasn't. You have to stick together and get through this rough period, after all there was a reason you married him.
2007-06-26 09:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by EDonutboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋