my parents don't "approve" him. They think that he isn't husband material and all that. It's not like I am young or anything I have my whole life planned out and I am 27 (28 next month) years old. I am planning to be a doctor. I told them if I wait any longer I would be told old to get married. I think its a decent age and everything. My parents don't like him because he is 29 and they there is a huge difference. I personally think its not a big difference. I want to keep connections with my parents because they're important to me. What should I do to make them like him or "approve" him?
2007-06-26 07:34:28 · 24 answers · asked by Kristyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well i have been married for 6 years and I wouldn't worry about your folks so much. Now do your folks dislike him soley for his age or do they have hard core evidence that he is an abusive person phsically or verbally. Hopefully that isn't the case. How well do you know him, because now a days people are getting married for money. What does he do for a living will your salary match his. Well I'm not trying to discourage you but getting married is a really tough decision and should not be taken likely. I have been married for 6 years and it takes a lot of love, religion, and dicipline. So God Bless and take your time.
2007-06-26 07:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by windy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "you can't wait any longer, you will be too old to get married" YOU DO NOT GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE! If that's what you're planning, plan on the divorce too.
Your 27 and he's 29? What the hell is wrong with that? I don't get it and I think there is alot more to it.
Your parents disapprove and say that he isn't "husband material" for certain reasons and that's what's important. What are the reasons? What have they seen? They're probably making sense, because your not.
You and your parents have to get together and discuss this.
2007-06-26 07:55:16 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're almost 28 years old. I understand that you want your parents to be okay with the marriage...but it's not about them. If you love the guy and want to spend your life with him then do it. You don't have to validate the relationship to anyone much less your parents. I think if you start planning the wedding and they see that you're really serious and committed to the relationship they might open up a little more to you getting married. Are you an only child? Sometimes parents feel like they're losing their "baby" (no matter how old you are). Just realize that they have your future in mind. Reassure them that you're doing the right thing and they have nothing to worry about. Good luck!
2007-06-26 07:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by Arcangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he a good, wholesome family guy?
If he is, why don't you, him, and your parents perhaps spend some more time together, they will get to know him and get to like him. That is the only solution I can think of, and after he has spent much time with your parents, and they STILL don't like him, maybe just accept it. Marry him anyway. It's not them getting married to him in the end. And they should respect your decisions as an adult.
You sound really smart - you want to be a doctor - that's cool. I think if you are the doctor-type you must be pretty responsible and sensible. Why would your parents doubt you?
Good Luck.
2007-06-26 08:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by spencer_tracy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your parents right about the way they feel about him? Sometimes outsiders can see things about our relationships that we may be blind to. They love you and they don't want to see you end up in an unhappy relationship. However, if you really love this guy and you think he is the right one, then you need to live your life. Getting their approval probably won't happen. The best thing you can do is prove them wrong by living a happy life with this man.
One thing that concerns me is your statement - "If I wait any longer, I will be too old to get married". Don't rush into marriage with someone just because you are afraid you are getting too old. You have a lot of life to live and being in an unhappy marriage is hell!!! Think it through really well. You are talking about the rest of your life! Ultimately, the decision has to be yours!! Good luck!
2007-06-26 07:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What huge difference would there be between 27 and 29? That two yrs only matters when you are in high school. If that is their only objection and he is a responsible caring individual, marry him. You can't make them approve but they can be civil and should be.
2007-06-26 08:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this is the right person for you then marry him. There are some cases you don't need your parent's approval especially if you are in the late 20's. Tell them that you just want their support and what's done is done. You are settled down and why wouldn't you want to take your life to the next step?
Great Wedding advice in this site down here.
2007-06-26 07:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by The Coug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since at 27 (almost 28) you are an adult, then you need to approach this situation in an adult fashion. You need to sit down with your parents and put everything on the line. You need to tell them they raised you well (you have done excellent so far in life because of them) and that you thank them for their support, but that you have been with this person for 4 years and you are positive he is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Ask them to please give him a chance and to get to know him better and accept him because you are going to marry him and give them grandchildren by him and you want them to be supportive of this marriage and your future. Maybe they think you will meet a "doctor" when you become one who will be "better" but you need to let them know that this is the person you want to be with and after 4 years you know your heart. Sometimes parents mistake good intentions for forcing their will on their children (in other words I want the best for my children, but my "the best" may not be what they want if you know what I mean - and at that point I need to step back and say I wish you the best and anything I can do let me know). You need to realize that your parents will not be here for you forever and that whomever you choose as a spouse is the one that will be with you for the rest of your life (hopefully) and that maybe it's time to let go of the "apron strings" that are holding you to your parents' approval. Could your parents be using this "approval" as a means to keep you with them and not let you go? No matter, you are an adult and need to go out on your own now. Good luck to you and God Bless your marriage.
2007-06-26 07:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as u and your new husband are very happy and inlove you need to tell your parents its your life not theres if they love you they will accept him no matter what for your sake dont let a good thing go just cuz mom and dad dont approve now if hes abusive or something like that then yes they are looken out for your interest but hon u only get one life and if this is the guy then go for it there are so many people out there who are unhappy in there relationships and i wish the best for you and your new husband you have my approval gl girl
2007-06-26 07:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably can't change their minds, although I'd be curious to know why they don't consider him to be 'husband material.' A two year age gap is nothing. Is he a decent human being? Does he have marketable job skills? Does he like kids and small animals?
2007-06-26 08:15:41 · answer #10 · answered by Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋