My boyfriend and I have been dating for to years!!! xoxo. His mom loves me. I get good grades I've been class presidant for 3 years. I have my drivers lisence and I have to jobs. My boyfriend cant get his lisence cause his stepdad said no, you have to wait til your 18!!!! He wont even let us hug!!! His real dad invited me to go to arizona with my boyfriend so I could meet his family down there and his stepdad said no and his real mom said yes. He has to ask his spetdad for stuff before he can ask his mom!!! HELP
2007-06-26 07:28:58 · 18 answers · asked by Carly T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All you can do is be the best person you can be and treat the man with respect and kindness. If that doesn't work, then there is nothing you can do. You can't change people. People have to decide to change. Be the best girlfriend you can be, and forget about the stepdad. If he doesn't like you, then that's his loss. Nothing you can do about that.
2007-06-26 07:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriends step dad is a control freak I wonder why?.While this may be very over protective it sure is hartd on your boyfriemds life.right now but hey its not forever.When you BF is earning his own way and able to pay for cars , his Insurance, gas , repairs etc etc then the situation may be a lot different!
Where is his MOTHER in all of this.Doesnt she have any advice for you.?If not then keep your head low and wait for him to turn 18 as there is no soluition and the spep dad has all the power right now .He cant hang on to him for ever -remember that,.
Sounds like the real dad didnt talk over the plan tocome to AZ with mother and step dad BEFORE he spoke to his son He SHOUD have.Does ghe have VISITATION rights in the divorce.or what kind of dad is he to you BDF .Sounds like Step dad is taking care of ALL the needs of BF like daily care, paying his food clothesc books etc , you know what I mean..everyone .Next time perhaps the adults can work it ourt among themselves?I know visitation especially in another can be VERY tricky in divorces.They all are bound by the divorce agreement and you or BF may not know the fiull story.
As regards driving-theres not a thing your boyfriend can do.about that.Many many kids dont drive BTW until they can afford it..Perhaps its a financial drain that the parents are not prepared to make right now in favor of paying for other areas in his life.
PS Is the stepson a good student or a bad one.That may influence things too.Perhaps they are worried for his safety.
A good chat with Mom may help a lot.Just be careful talkking about her EX.OK?
Good Luck!
2007-06-26 07:45:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit, this situation sounds a little bizarre...especially because you sound like a parents dream! For one thing....it sounds like this step father is a bit out of control with the "control" issues. He may be the step father, but the mother, being the natural mother, should be stepping in and putting her foot down.
I'm guessing this whole problem goes much deeper. This step dad sounds really controlling and abusive...and he is most likely controlling the mother as well. Not a good situation...especially if your boyfriend is being exposed to that on a daily basis...he may pick up some of those bad habits, and you definately don't want that. Keep your eye out for signs of that.
As for you being able to do anything...I'm afraid there is not much you can do at all but wait it out. If the boy is worth it and you really love him...try to stick it out for a little while, but again....watch for signs that you guy's personality might be changing...and then talk to him about it immediately if it does.
Also, just be there for your boyfriend...keep reminding him of how much you love him...be supportive, and listen when he needs to talk...if he is living in a situation like that....he is going to need your positivity to counteract what his step dad is doing...hopefully it will work. Good luck.
2007-06-26 07:42:34 · answer #3 · answered by faeorain 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Legally his stepfather has no power over him. It is the biologicall mother and father. If I were you I would just go. His stepdad can really do anything to stop you if his mother said yes. So do you best hun.
xx
stacey
2007-06-26 07:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by EJGKEHG0133 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if his mom is now married to a controlling man who is abusive in his control. He has no right over your boyfriend. Your bf's mother and his natural father are the only ones who can legally make rules for him. Your boyfriend can get his license if his mother (or you) take him to get it, right? If his mother won't help him, then she is an abused woman.
2007-06-26 07:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a shitty step dad yet while he hates him then superb and dont think of that it may mess your courting up by way of fact in case you think of it rather is going to take place then it rather is going to easily think of of those remarkable young little ones you will have sometime and having a kin like those you spot in desires good success with each thing
2016-09-28 12:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadlt there are people in life that you are never going to please... this man happens to be one of them. A boy I dated in high school mother was the same exact way! I would take it personal and be sad about it! But really don't take it personal .... people like this just like for the rest of the world to be miserable with them..... but shame on the mom for letting this man be such an *** to her kid.
2007-06-26 07:44:15 · answer #7 · answered by MD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His step dad probably isn't ready to be a step grandfather yet. He just sounds controlling about everything, not just you. Probably his insecurities showing since he is the step father.
2007-06-26 07:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are affraid of you! They are affraid you two will get to serious and you will end up pregnant and it will ruin his life! They want him to concentrate on school and not YOU! Try not to take it personally, it's not that he hates you, he hates the idea of what might happen to his Son! You sound like a wonderful young woman any Mother would be happy to have her Son dating! Hang in there!
2007-06-26 07:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well obviously his mother is letting the step dad rule the roost.....he should not be allowed to over rule what his real dad says.......he sounds like a control freak and the real dad should step in and say something.
2007-06-26 07:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Lynnae_1969 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋