A friend of mines has been in a sexually lacking relationship for about 4 years now. He has strayed b/c of the sexual dysfunction and has since been trying to reconcile the relationship, but the sex is still little no none, and boring as hell, and he still has thoughts of straying w/ someone he dated for a significant amount of time during the main relationship.
This friend wants to know how can he tell his girlfriend that she needs to up her sex game. He likes sex, he wants sex, and needs more to desire than her ''lay there like a piece of wood'' mentality.
Help me help him please!! Thanks.
**thought out educated answers desired, thanks**
2007-06-26 04:55:01 · 14 answers · asked by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Excellent answers so far, thanks!
2007-06-26 05:04:58 · update #1
The girlfriend is still bitter about the other woman, and refuses to get past it although there supposed to be moving past it! So she throows things in his face daily, and doesn't even want to sleep in the same bed, but doesn't want to cut him loose either. Either other thing out her mouth is: Ya b*tch this, Ibet ya whore did that, blah, blah, blah. It's kinda hard to move on when your stuck on the past.....right?
2007-06-26 05:06:58 · update #2
Wow! Some of you females that replied sound like the bitter girlfriend, that can't satisfy her man!!! LOL! Cute answers though!
2007-06-26 11:08:25 · update #3
Why is he trying to fix this? Everyone else is advising him to talk about it, but that won't fix this issue. He's not married to this woman, and he has wasted 4 years in this relationship with a person that does not fulfill his needs. The only reason to be in a relationship with someone is because they fulfill all of your needs. He should let this bad situation end, and then he would be free to go out and get his needs met, and not have to sneak and lie about it. Dragging this on is not fair to either of them, and he shouldn't waste any more time than he already has.
There is nothing that he can do to fix this. If she isn't that interested in sex, there is nothing that can make her be interested. The best advice would be to let it go and move on.
2007-06-26 05:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't see how this is any of your business unless you are the other woman this "player" dated, to use your own words, for a significant amount of time during the main relationship.
I mean, if this guy is really seeing two women at once, who's to say that he's not the one who is boring in bed when it comes to making love with the one he is cheating on. This is insane.
And besides, when things are failing in the bedroom, it's just a sign that the rest of the relationship is breaking down and needs rescuing.
2007-06-26 05:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though this is often an uncomfortable topic of discussion, he needs to tell her this directly and not beat around the bush. So many relationships are ruined because the couple cannot communicate about things like sexual performance.
2007-06-26 05:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by redheads have more fun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the guy is a a bad lover. If all he want is to satisfy himself, most women get pretty sick of that pretty quickly... Few women orgasm with just penetration (hint). And guys are often selfish, and leave her frustrated. The guy needs to learn a few things, read some books, and be a better lover. He needs to learn to take care of her first.... She's boring in bed because he is selfish in bed. Read the book, "For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach..... he'll find out things he never knew existed.........
2007-06-26 05:15:37 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must agree with eviltruitt.
I am in a similar situation except that I am married with 3 kids. Tell your friend from my experience, that if he is unhappy now with the sex....it will only get worse the longer he hangs around. I am just finding out now HOW important this is in my own life. If he does anything foolish like tieing the knot, he'll regret it. My next relationship (if there is one) there will be compatible libidos. If they arent compatible...its a deal breaker.
2007-06-26 10:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they should go to therapy together or see a Dr. It could be something medical that is affecting her sex drive. Hopefully he has already discussed these issues with her before jumping into bed with other women. If he is unhappy with the realtionship why doesn't he just leave her? Why put himself through that?
2007-06-26 05:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend - stay out of your friend's business as it has nothing to do with you.
That said, your friend is making excuses to cheat and is not ready for a one-on-one commitment and should admit that to himself and to this woman so that she can move on and he can "play the field" until he is ready to settle down.
Life lesson: Good sex doesn't necessarily mean a good relationship and vice versa.
2007-06-26 05:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first he needs to just be honest with her and tell her instead of you...A relationship is suppose to have complete communication even if one doesn't like what the other has to say...Only way to work together and work things out...
2007-06-26 05:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should try new things with her, you know where he introduces fun new things that she might actually get excited about. There are a lot of things in books that show you how to keep your sex life interesting or how to rekindle it. I think if he tryes these things he'll eventually find a fantasy that he didn't know she even had :-P
2007-06-26 05:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee maybe instead of cheating like a real jerk, he should have been adult and kindly made suggestions to his lady about how to spice things up in the bedroom. I don't think anyone should ever be forgiven for being a cheater. That is one of the worst things to do in a relationship. Hopefully, her reason for not letting him go is to punish him and torture him for a long long time. It is well-deserved.
2007-06-26 06:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋