My fiance' and I live together, he has three children with his ex wife. A year ago his ex-wife allowed their oldest daughter (12 at the time) to move in with us and she took the other 2 children and moved to a different state. The agreement was at the time that neither person would pay child support. He was served two days ago with papers stating that she has now filed for child support for the other two children, we spoke with her states court and they said that she did not even mention to them that there was a third child involved that lives with us. We apparently are going to have to file for child support for the child that lives with us as it is not fair that we have to support the other two but she doesn't have to do anything to support the one we have. Also, we are considering not only getting legal custody of the child that already lives with us but fighting for custody of the other two so that the siblings can be back together. What is our next step from here?
2007-06-26 04:45:32 · 8 answers · asked by Jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There was never anything legal done regarding custody at the time of the divorce. The marriage was disolved and that was it. Neither of them was given legal custody and there was no set visitation. It was a verbal agreement between the 2 parties that she was going to leave the oldest with us and move away to another state with the other 2 for a better job opportunity. Our main goal with the custody situation is to try to obtain some type of legal visitation. The mother has not seen her daughter in a year, he has not been able to see the other 2 in a year and when we offered to come up with arrangements for everyone to be able to see each other, she refused. At this point we just want everything set so that we don't have to play by her rules anymore. We want to be able to see them and the kids to know that they are going to be able to see their father and sister and ours should be able to see her mother as well. We don't mind paying child support, but it works both ways.
2007-06-26 08:02:44 · update #1
Well she is intitled to the money for the kids, so maybe her financial situation has changed and she needs it now. Also why are you trying to get money for the one that's living with you. You've been paying for her all this time, but suddenly because the mom is asking for money for the other two, you want her to pay for the one that's with you. What don't understand with those situations is why is it always about money. If he had stayed with her, he would of been paying for the kids all this time without ever saying anything about it.
If you want custody of the other two, you better come up with good reasons, unless she is an unfit mother, you won't be getting them for sure.
Good luck and be careful not to stick the kids in the middle fo the battle, the 12 year old is not stupid...
2007-06-26 04:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all...was the agreement between the seperation of the children documented via Modification Order 'after' the Final Judgment of the the Dissolution or was the agreement a 'Verbal' agreement between the parties? You need to pull out the Final Judgment. Several of the 'issues' you've placed here 'must' be done legally through Orders of Modification. Was she allowed to leave the State with the children? Was Support issued? All these things need to be checked out and changed via Modification in the State it was filed. If she took the children without his knowledge into another State, you have her for illegally abscounding with the children especially w/visitation not being allowed unless he flies back and forth each time! Check the Documents. Also, the state where she abides should have knowledge of the 3rd child 'if' she filed documents and attached the original Judgment Order. You can do this yourself but it's a pain in the butt. Go to a Resource Service in your area to assist in preparation of the necessary documents you'll need to file. good luck
2007-06-26 05:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by happy dream 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, and not just any lawyer. Find one to specializes in family law and custody issues. The law is so complicated when it comes to custody and child support, the average layman can't even begin to understand it. I was a caseworker for 6 years, dealing with food stamps, medicaid and TANF, and the one thing that always amazed me was how complicated custody, child support, etc are. Good luck.
2007-06-26 04:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by HipHopGrandma 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would honestly contact a lawyer who can tell you how to go about filing for support and custody, i think it looks really bad on her that she didnt even mention the third child that lived with you, its like she is the "unwanted" one.
quite sad, and verbal doesnt go anywhere but i would still mention that the agreement was that no one was going to ask for support.
i think its only fair that if she is going to file then you guys should too, what gives her the right to ak for money for two of them but you dont have any rights to the one child you care for.....good luck and contact a lawyer asap
2007-06-26 04:52:34 · answer #4 · answered by jelly_bean_19_69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nO! child support is ordered through the child services court. way different then the family court. he needs to go New Mexico and file for Custody and Visitation at the family court in the county where his son resides. this will get him visitation and a schedule which the ex will have to follow.
2016-05-21 00:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you sweetie , it is the HARDESSSSSSST thing to do in court , to get custody of kids from there mother . My husband and I tried with his son 2 x and failed. His ex wifes husband was doin drugs and we didnt want him around that well to sum it up , we didnt get him b/c the court said she was a fit mother. Unless the mother is abusin , starvin, or near bout killin the child its gonna be hard to get your stepkids from her. And as far as child support for the one living with you ..you guys need to turn around and file for child support from HER!!!!! If yall have to pay , she needs to pay only fair!!!! Good luck to you as I am in the same boat as you are and i feel your pain. My hubbys exes only want the c/s and dont really care for the kids the way we do.
2007-06-26 04:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by xxrolltideexx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer... you need to file for support for the child that lives with you, but fighting for custody is a whole new thing... if she is abusive or something then, do that, but its likley that you wont get custody of the other two, unless she is doing something wrong
2007-06-26 04:50:03 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer that specializes in family issues.
2007-06-26 05:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by ItsMe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋