2007-06-26 04:42:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I know this one! I've just experienced this one!
There is a level that you go to with the love of your life, that is beyond any level you've ever let another approach. They've seen not only into your soul... but they learn every intricate detail of your being to the point that you become united in a bond as one. It so rarely happens to find that person that "knows you" like no other has or will.
To then step backwards and try to remove part of that intimacy while still talking to that same person....... it's impossible. It's like..... like trying to mask something you don't know. Trying to pretend something doesn't exist..... it's like living a lie. And you just don't have that capability. You are you.... open..... tell it like it is. You can't pretend it is something its not. And whereas there is nothing more dear than a friend....... the lover controls the heart...... controls the soul..... and putting a different "label" on the lover..... does not make their purpose in your life any different. They are who they are because of the way you were touched by them. Calling them a 'friend' will not change that.
And that is why it is so painful........ because you still will always see her as....... the love of your life.
2007-06-26 04:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by Marianne not Ginger™ 7 · 8⤊ 2⤋
It's painful because that person was a big part of your life. By remaining friends that means that you're allowing yourself to stay in contact with that person and in doing so it leaves you vulnerable. It is very rare that one is able to remain friends with an ex without feeling some form of pain. Your wounds are still fresh and need time to mend. The best way to achieve this is to break off any form of communication with your ex. I know it may be painful, but it's the only way you'll be able to move on. I pray that your heart begins to heal quickly and you are able to find love again. God Bless!
2007-06-26 04:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kori spelled backwards is Irok 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with marie_not_ginger
the love of your life never truly stops being the love of your life
even if one or both of you 'changes' and tries to move on...there will always be what you had, and what you can't help but wish you still had- and every time you see that person you'll wonder what might have happened and what might have been.....and it hurts like hell to come to this conclusion, but what good does that truly do you? not only would you be living in the past but you'd be living with this false idea of what they present might have been- instead of what the present IS and what the future truly could be.
however I think it's very commendable to try and remain friends and who knows? maybe you can make it work....but idk....my fiance is the love of my life, he's everything that I've wanted in a person and a lot I didn't even imagine he would be....he knows me, my soul, my heart, my fears and the small things that make me smile, he knows things that no one else can dream of knowing and some things I hadn't even known about myself- and it's mutual, there's no way I could live without that connection.....
but I agree, marie_not_ginger absolutely deserves the 10 points.
2007-06-26 05:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by jess 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe you can drift apart from the once love of your life and remain friends, but I don't think you can remain friends while this person is still the love of your life
2007-06-26 05:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Little Bear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, you may not hold any animosity towards each other, but two people who were once in love have too much baggage to make a friendship work. I mean, by staying friends, doesn't necessarily mean you have to SEE each other. In actuality, you can never move on with your life completely if you both keep reminding each other of what once was. It wont hurt as much if you start making memories with other people and try to be places where your 'ex' isn't.
2007-06-26 04:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by La Cicada 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they are the love of your LIFE. theres no changing that sadly...a wise friend once told me.."if you break up with someone you loved you either still and will always love them or never loved them in the first place." You obviously still love this person and knowing the bond you once had is still there will hurt as you know you can no longer express it the way you once did. If they are truly the love of your LIFE then thats it...what you feel is for LIFE x
2007-06-26 09:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does quitting smoking suck? It's withdraw. Withdraw is always worse when what you're withdrawing from is right in your face.
My suggestion is to set a goal. Probably at least a month, and just stay away from your ex. That means no calling, talking, reading their blog. Nothing at all. Focus on yourself. Exercise, get stuff done.
After a month or so think about how you feel.
2007-06-26 05:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by ziggurat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because every time you see that person it’s a reminder of what you guys used to have. That’s why it’s so hard to be friends with your ex. That’s also how the terms “friends with benefits” came to be. But keep in mind: If that person was really the love of your life than you wouldn’t have broken up with that person. But give it time. You’ll forget you were ever in love with them and you guys will be the best of friends.
2007-06-26 05:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That pain is your heart being torn. My heart has many scars from love.I guess thats why it is the main breaker in our bods,when it shutsdown it hurts. And so if we make it through that thrown breaker then we still should stay friends.
2007-06-26 04:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by nanna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shouldnt be painful if u ended for good reasons and you still want to be friends at least u have da friendship and it true what people time is a healer
2007-06-26 04:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋