Do you always doubt yourself?

Question

I used to really believe in myself and feel confident about decisions I had made and the way I felt about things. After a relationship with someone who told me I was wrong all the time, gave plausible arguments as to why he was right, said I had no common sense and basically it was his way or the high way.

As a result, a month on from breaking up with him, I am still wracked with insecurities. I question everything, analyse everything, and try and find some way to lay the blame at my door. I feel like my world has been turned upside down and realise that this has something to do with being with someone who was 'always right' and who made me see things from his side of the fence. But now I'm just in a mess and I'm blaming myself for all the problems in our relationship, I'm questionning myself, my character & I just can't make sense of anything.

Does anyone else suffer from this? Do you have any tips on how to combat it? I'm so used to compromising myself that I'm lost now!

Answer 1

many people do . you sound like a great person google "crazy making" that is what he did to you. RUN from him and love yourself and read the SECRET------------- go to the library and read self help and relationship books. and enjoy life. no one is always right and an unanalyzed life is not worth living.

Answer 2

YES! It's horrid isn't it?
Even when friends reassure you that you do know what you are talking about you find reasons to doubt them. I would love to get hold of the bloke that did this to me & tear strips off him - and that was in a work situation, not a romantic one!
It takes time but you will eventually come to trust yourself again.
I found an old tape someone gave me (although I have tried to find it online in CD form I can't) but it basically is a self-belief tape - it talks you through exercises to help speed up the process but in reality what it is doing is making you look at what you really are good at and believe it!
Start the day every day with a list of good things you have done and the trimes you made people laugh at your clever wit, the times you have been there for friends when they needed you.
You will feel better - you KNOW you will!
Good luck xxx

Answer 3

I went through this in a different situation. It is hard to focus on other things when you are spending time analyzing the could be the should be, If I would of etc.. I found some hobbies I enjoy and focus on those and focus on each day. It does get better but every once in a while those thoughts creep back up, you just have to learn to get your self esteem back and combat the negativities

Answer 4

wow, i'm really sorry that you suffered such an abusive relationship. you need to realise that your partner was WRONG to treat you that way, and you are surely NOT wrong all the time. Usually it's insecure people that like to make others feel that way. I think maybe some counselling would help you get over this stumbling block and back to your old self again. Best of luck xx

Answer 5

I doubt myself every day. Thats' why I've been so self-centered, insecure, and negative. I don't LOVE myself enough. I am starting to, though. I bought a few pairs of cute little shorts the other day, and a bathing suit. I feel so much better now! I'm getting another job, too, and focusing on getting things done in my life, and making more money, and buying a car! Do nice things for yourself, and other people. (Esp yourself, first) and you will love yourself more, and when you love yourself more, you're more SURE of yourself, and when you're more SURE of yourself, you don't DOUBT yourself as much, and then you start making better decisions.

Answer 6

You are not alone. I am getting out of a marriage where my insecure wife criticized me and tore me down almost everyday. 9 months out of my divorce I still have her tapes playing in my head that I am dumb, boring, and incapable. Its really hard and I am learning everyday to look in the mirror and love myself. I would say I am about 50% better but sometimes her voice creeps back in my head durning certain sitations. You just have to start doing the little things....reading, going to the gym, hanging with friends,...etc. The many little things you get good at have been helping rebuild my self esteem. Just takes time. Good luck I know its one of the toughest things you can deal with in life.

Answer 7

You bet. My parents, friends, and teachers, all say I doubt myself too much. Honestly, I'd have to agree with them. For almost every oppurtunity in life there is, I always worry and I don't accept it unless I almost have to. It feels like I'm like trapped somewhere and I can't escape. I feel doubted because I'm afraid of failure, rejection, or disappointments. Its such a bitter feeling when any of them occurrs, and I end up taking the situation like its the end of the world. It doesn't happen very often, but for some reason I put my mind on it too much and every time I'm invited to a new oppurtunity, I feel like I'm going to fail again.
I have talked to people about this before and what I do that kind of helps me is to determine myself to take more risks. It feels painful, but the majority of the time you end up relieved that you did it. I admit, sometimes you do feel disappointment again, but I figure if I already don't have a good image of myself, what do I have to lose? I'm not going to die or be wounded. Plus, from opening yourself to more things in the world, you can also learn from your mistakes and what you don't like. If you try something and you feel depressed, you know not to do it again, whereas if you like something, you know you'll do it again.

Answer 8

cant %. the two because of the fact so as to make a rational judgment you're able to weigh the experts and cons of a count number, in case you need to doubt your self in a difficulty must be regarding making a stable judgment. in case you in no way doubted your self u might do some thing fairly stupid and not comprehend how stupid u fairly are because of the fact.......you in no way doubt your self. on the turn area if u continuously doubted urself u could be a psychological pastime with all styles of psychological stuff incorrect with you. i think of its extra powerful to be 50/50 with this deal.

Answer 9

it will probably take a time to heal from such an abusive relationship...
on the other hand, being too much self-confident is a mark of a simpleton... Errare humanum est (it is human to make mistakes). We never have enough date to be absolutely certain, therefore we need to learn how to rely on our limited knowledge...
Take care and have fun!

Answer 10

You hhave too much air in your system which kept on your bones marrows and also some problems with digestions? if yes, you have what ayurveda calls vata excess. So, you can make some treatment by visiting an ayurveda doctor or practitioner. It is a normal state for people excess in particular element but it is better to manage this excess too!.
Or even maybe you have a strong vata and pitta ( air and fire) excess elements in your body.
You can make self analysis by going to the link i copied below.