why do fathers have no rights with it comes to their kids?

Question

the fact the we have no say in wether women get abortions. and that we have to pay to see our own kids when they live with us most of the time

read this website
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/6241226.stm

i am a hard working father who loves his kids very much but the courts say i have no right to see my children when i have never done anything wrong

iv been to court on several occasions and im in over £30,000 worth of debts and each and every time they deny me access. they say im too much of a risk to the children however i have a stable job, iv never been arrested iv never even stolen anything. im a good man who only wants to see his children but my ex keeps on making up stories to the courts and even tho iv have been for a lie detector test and passed the courts still believe her. so much for this government believeing in equal rights

Answer 1

My best friend and his (at the time) girlfriend had been together for over 3 years. She got pregnant and decided she wanted an abortion. My buddy begged her to allow him to have the child, he offered to sign papers releasing her from all responsibility, financial and otherwise. She refused and had the pregnancy aborted.

Why was he not allowed to have his child? She participated in the relationship right up until she knew she was pregnant, then she pulled away and claimed it was her body and she wasn't going to have a child. She wasn't and he told her so, she was only giving birth (no small thing, I know, I have 3 daughters myself).

You're right, it's not fair to good men who just want to be fatehrs to their children. The courts in this case have skewed all bias towards the mother, as if fathers have no rights except in unusual circumstances.

The worst part is, he met another girl, got married and has 2 sons with her. They just divorced and she got everything. Poor SOB just can't get a break.

Answer 2

As a woman I do believe that the courts do have a bias for the mother. Once a woman has made up her mind that the father is not going to have anything to do with the kids it's highly likely that she gets her way. If a woman denys access to a father that has been granted by the courts, the judge has the right to jail her, yet they are very reluctant to do so, because of the effects on the children. Although a Father has rights in law, it is the application of that law which is flawed.

The only time a Father should be denied access to thier chidren is if they are at risk physically and emotionally. The overriding factor should be the children and what is best for them, not for the adults, their world has already been torn apart without the prospect of losing access to a parent. Where there is no history of abuse or neglect then the best course of action for everyone is for the children to see both thier parents.

There is so much nowadays about the lack of paternal input into children's lives , but the plight of Father's who are desperate to see their children should not be underestimated and belittled., and this should be taken seriously and not turned into a battle of the sexes. It is possible to have rights and wrongs on both sides.

I speak as a women who's daughter's father wants nothing to do with her and as the sister of a brother who is desperate to see his child.

Keep fighting for access, keep all the documents you can, because one day when you have the chance of seeing them you can show them you love them and fought for them, as they are probably thinking you don't care about them.

I hope it all works out.

Answer 3

For years people only thought the mother could be a good parent. They never considered the mother could be as bad or WORSE as the parent. Now that it is coming to light that a father can be the best parent they are starting to get some rights. The problem is that yes the Mother will still almost always get the child, short of her being a drug addict or something. The only way to really get around this is for Father's to start FIGHTING FOR THEIR RIGHTS.

Why should you decide if the woman gets an abortion? Did your condom break? If not then BOO-HOO for YOU. Wear a CONDOM next time and the risk goes down by a LARGE amount. Actually don't want the girl to get pregnant then go get a vasctomy and stop whining. Sorry but that is my opinion on that matter. I mean yeah I get upset that a guy can't prevent the girl from getting an abortion, but that's life. Want that one stopped then you should get working on an womb that is seperate from the woman so that you can put the unborn child in that and have it carried to term.

Answer 4

First of all, your question is flawed.

There are two issues here, rights over one's own body and rights of a parent.

As to the first, at least in the U.S., the Supremem Court has said countless times that ANY human being has the right to make medical decisions without interference from another or the state. Even minors have those rights to a certain degree in this country.

Also, because a woman, by nature, can be proven to be the unborn baby's mother she has continuing rights over her own body until such time as a live birth, when the father has what is called "Assertive" rights.

The question then becomes, what are assertive rights. That is best defined as all the same rights and priviledges of the mother WHEN ASSERTED. While a mother, through biology, may have intrinsic rights (existing from fact) a father must assert that he is the father and be proven to be so before he is granted rights through law.

But, once the assertion turns to fact, BOTH parents have the same rights and responsibilities in regards to the child.

As to your second question, Again, custody is a matter of fact for a court to decide based on the evidence. In the majority of cases the child either lives with the mother by default or the father allows such during a divorce proceeding.

In all cases, the matter of custody / visitation and support is decided on the best interest of the child doctrine and the courts are not going to uproot a child living with it's mother just to even the numbers.

JOINT custody is the norm today but courts also want to see both parents supporting the child therefore, the parent with whom the child does NOT live will be tasked with providing more support to cover daily expenses as if the child were living with them.

Also, in the story you provided, the blame for the situation is squarely on the father for not filing for a modification of the support based on the change in circumstances.

Again, assertive rights do nothing if not asserted.

Answer 5

I think that fathers do get more rights these days. However, it does depend on the circumstances for each family. Years ago children automatically went to the fathers not the mothers when the parents split up! One reason that the mothers always won the custody is because they were usually the ones that stayed at home to look after the children whilst the fathers went out to work. Obviously this is not always the case now and each case should be looked at individually. I wish the father of my children was interested enough just to visit them once in a while.

Answer 6

I don't think the term " more rights" is accurate. Parents have equal rights to their children however I know it sounds unfair but mothers usually get awarded custody of the children un less the courts can be provided with proof that she is an un fit parent. It's usually in rare occasions or in unfit that the mother does not have the children live with her.

It could be that the courts feel the mother bared the children and therefore are more nurturing.

Answer 7

All I know is that I laugh everytime people say that the mother deserves everything for carrying that child and it was her breastmilk that the child fed off of, and that they stay up and take care of the baby. It's actually hilarious to say that all men got was an orgasm and women had to deal with the labor pains. Heres a news flash, It takes two to tango ladies, and you knew what could happen when you dropped your drawers just as much as we do. So just because the cause and effect of your actions is worse than ours doesn't mean that we should get the short end of the stick.
I don't get how men cant get rights to their child unless you find them and can pretty much photograph them smoking crack or hitting their kids. We deserve rights too, how bout a sanity test, or hidden cameras so the courts can see how crazy the wife/girlfriend actually is. I mean hell pregnancy messes with womens minds, their never the same anymore after that.

Answer 8

Honestly, my heart goes out to you, it never fails to amaze me when I hear of story's such as yours, it is shocking that this is still going on, surely you would think that this far down the road with so many vixens being exposed as the money grabbing user's they are, something would be done about it by now. These mother's are causing eternal untold damage to the children they are dragging around with them, and the laws must be changed to suit society of today, however in the meantime all you can do is wait for the day that your children and you can be happy, and hopefully you will be able to catch up on what your missing now, I feel so sorry for you and others who through no fault of their own are being treated so unfairly, I wish you all the luck in the world and who knows what tomorrow will bring, god bless you.

Answer 9

That is not the case, my sister's ex lied through his teeth to the courts and social services and he has custody of their two kids and makes excuses, eg ill, kids ill, party to go to, every time she is due to see them!

So, it works both ways!

Edit: I do agree about terminations, why does the father get no say, either way? Admittedly it's the woman who has all this going on inside her, but she agreed to have the sex to begin with...

Edit II: the circumstances in that article are appaulling! The mother must be claiming benefit, the Government is trying to cut back on benefits, perhaps if she only claimed for the kids for the half week she has them (probably not possible, once again because of the Government), then maybe he would not have to pay. That situation is disgusting!!

Answer 10

Because the law incorrectly assumes that the Mother is the right person to bring up the child. In my case the law subjected me to humiliation and shame. I lost contact and missed out on years of parenting. My ex just lied and lied and the courts believed her. They are not interested in the role of Fatherhood and this is why we are in such a desperate situation with our youngsters. They say 'In the interest of the children' but it is in the interest of money at the end of the day. Fathers are just piggy banks and if they don't cough up they go to prison. It is a one sided situation and always will be.