Do you think that this relationship between a husband and his wife shall be good?

Question

This is my friend's chat and she allways finds fault with her husband. Now, you can come to know about their relation. Now Tell me... Will this relation be a success or will it pave its way for divorce?
************************************
Me : I would like to spend some time alone and this sounds like the perfect idea
Husband : I don't know how safe this may be though I have no right in stopping you from doing what you want to do
Me : Awww come on ? Lighten up. Don't be so 1976. I need an adventure by myself
Husband : So when do you want to leave ?
Me : The day you return
Husband : And why do you choose that specific day to leave ?
Me : Well, I think you have abandoned me and expect me to sit around the apartment waiting for you come back
Husband : Abandoned you ? Working hard is abandoning you ?
Me : Er........I am the one who is left behind. I want you to know how it feels to be apart from me
Husband : Ummm.....I am very apart from you and it's not easy for me either!

Me : Well......I'm the one stuck with the same 4 walls so you can be me for a change
Husband : Go for it
Me : Are you sure ?
Husband : Yes. Go for it
Me not wanting to go for it but putting on my best defensive front
Me : You sound like a freaking Coach in the by-lines. Stop telling me to go for it
Husband : I don't know which part of you thinks this is a sane conversation. I don't understand why you have to be so defensive with me ? You want to go alone to Kerala. Go.
Me : So you don't mind if your wife gets raped or mugged ?
Husband : I can't have this conversation. I give up. I'm taking you to a counselor if this talk continues
Me : Damm

Answer 1

Well this a passage from the story/novel you may be writing & want to know in what way it should move. Now its your imagination & you are best person to decide what all you want the people to enjoy, should a resulting into a matrimonial breaking & ultimately developing into a new relationship some time after this break or in between or the reunion of the same couple after all such misunderstanding & harsh conversation & all. What ever was in your mind initially & with which you started this has to find an end & you yourself should have known the end when you started this whole job. But it seems a nice imaginative story which you are telling & it should have some more twist & turns then it can be settled either way I told you above both these endings seems reasonable to me.

Answer 2

I'm with the husband on this one. But I do understand where the wife is coming from. She just wants his attention, and it sounds like she wants him home, but she doesn't feel HE understands how she feels. This goes both ways, he's busy working, so he's prepared to sacrifice some alone time with her for the common good. IT also sounds like the couple are newly weds, meaning no kids yet, and wifey is staying home alone, while hubby is off at work in some other place. Maybe he should take her with him, if his work allows it, or find a place where they can stay where he works.

He should understand that she doesn't want to leave, she wants him to stay either for longer, or for good, or she wants to go with him, and she feels that the only way he can understand this is to put him through the same numbing pain she feels. He's got something to keep him busy, she doesn't. But she also needs to understand that he probably paid for that computer and apartment she's living in, and whatever else. Or, maybe if it's a better solution, have her go stay at her house when he's away. It's not fun to be alone,...like ur single, when ur married. Especially in a culture like India's.

Answer 3

Well, by the wife telling her husband that she wants to leave the day he returns is combative in itself. She had already worked herself up mentally before springing this on her husband.
It's clear that this marriage could work very well with the aid of a good counselor. The wife is feeling "alone" and "apart" from the world and her husband. She probably loves him very much but, just doesn't know quite how to handle these emotions. The husband sounds as though he has a more passive personality (which is good), but is not indicative of him not provoking at times either. They need assistance in communicating their feelings to each other effectively as to avoid nagging and resentments, which are marriage killers.

Answer 4

I cannot fully comprehend this but I'll try to summarize.
Husband works.
Wife thinks work is abandonment.
Wife wants to leave the moment husband returns from work.
Wife wants out to explore.
Husband can't deal with it says Go do it.
Wife now calls him coach?
Husband gives up and in lieu of abuse suggests counseling.

Score reason and sanity husband 4 wife 0.

I think the wife needs to go do her thing and get herself raped,abused, money stolen and return to the 4 walls which were so bad only to find that husband has changed the locks and she is on the streets penniless and alone all the time trying to scratch out a meager existence to live.
That would be a form of karmic justice for being so selfish as to do nothing but criticize a man who is doing his best to provide for her.

It always strikes me as ironic that the people who are most critical of their spouse are often the ones with the least room to be critical.
If I were that guy I would be asking myself what this woman brings to this marriage. If this is the way it goes it can't be much. If its sex, and I cannot see much of that, prostitutes often are less expensive than her attitude.

Answer 5

I don't know but just based on this conversation alone, the wife sounds very immature. And why is she complaining about sitting around in the apartment all day, staring at 4 walls? Doesn't she have things to do? Get a job, maybe?

Answer 6

The wife sounds crazy what kind of person decides to take a revenge from the person he/she loves a lot i really wonder?
Is the hubby not supposed to work? u know what she's just frustrated that he's leaving her. she can utilise that time when he's not around in a more constructive way no doubt she'll miss him alot but won't he? he's goin for work not pleasure.

What i think she needs is to be more understanding n patient and for the hubby ur a better counsellor of her's than anybody else.

Answer 7

Well it seems like at first you can blame the wife. But I can bet there is something behind her want to test him and go out on her own. We are catching a short glimpse into their lives. Women and men often have a hard time getting to the real point. Maybe he was working but also maybe he gives her the feeling that he didnt miss and love her. Maybe she has trust issues and maybe he looks at other women while they are out somewhere. Maybe his comments puts her in an unsafe place and she is striking back. No matter what it seems the two of them need to sit down and talk and decide what they other one really wants to happen between them. Personally I believe she wants him to say "oh honey dont go please, you are so beautiful and my world would end if I lost you" It seems that is what she is digging all around the bush for. So we shouldnt judge but learn to read beneath the lines.

Answer 8

She sounds like she is trying to stick it to him, to get back at him. Not very mature, not good for her marriage if she does it all the time. Why is she chatting with you? Does her husband know about you?
She needs to communicate more honestly with her husband and not be so mean. Why is he gone so much? Why is she stuck at home? She has two legs and a brain she can walk places or drive places - that is not his fault.

Answer 9

I'm fully with the husband on this one.

The wife sounds as if she's trying to rile her husband. the marriage will remain as long as the husband keeps his patience.

He sounds a very supportive husband. Yes, he could have been with her a bit more, but the wife needs to get off her .... ahem... too. It sounds as if she wants him to be with her 24/7. That's not a proper marriage, in my opinion.

If I was a man, I would have left the wife a long time ago, I'm sorry.

I can see he is trying, but she's not.

Answer 10

Your friends needs to get a life. Her husband is away because he is working. She is being selfish and inconsiderate. If she had some interests of her own, she wouldn't have so much time to drum up more anxiety for her hard-working husband. I know....tell her to get a job. Then her husband wouldn't have to work so hard.