I feel ill everytime i think of my ex going behind my back and introducing his gf to our son,this is the girl he walked out on me and our 4 year old for,he promised me he wouldn`t do it until i was happy with it and she wouldn`t go against my wishes but i then find out through guess work that they done it on saturday anyway.He knows my son wouldn`t be able to tell me as he cant speak and that makes it even harder,like he was using the fact my son couldn`t drop them in it.he`s only been with her a few months and the thought of knowing my son was in the same room as the woman his daddy left us for is tearing me apart,i met her once when me andmy ex were still together and she was horrible,we disliked each other instantly so i know she`s spiteful enough to try and twist the knife in even more by trying to play step mummy to my child,to make things worse i know he didn`t take our son last week so he could help her move her stuff into his flat and he hadn`t seen him in 3 weeks,i feel angry?
2007-06-25 21:54:25 · 14 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry it`s so long but i needed to get it all out,he was supposed to take my son friday and saturday coming but i feel ill at the thought of her being there with them,what do i do?
2007-06-25 21:55:44 · update #1
get your pal to email that skank and give her a few home truths!!!!
2007-06-26 05:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by ♥samiclaire_82♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will have to build yourself a new and fabulous life. the anger will pass when you find yourself a man who is worth it. spend time alone not involved with someone else, and work through the anger by joining a gym, then when the anger is gone you will also find yourself looking and feeling great too and you can concentrate on rebuilding your life. if she really is that awful he will look at you in the future and regret what he lost. i know it doesnt seem much of an answer but you just need to walk forward through the grief. i'm sorry for your pain. don't be mean to or about her tho, as it will only lower you down a level or two and you need to maintain your dignity. get some new strong supportive friendships that your ex doesn't know personally and they can also be a support network to help with your son in the future.
2007-06-25 22:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He went behind your back and cheated on you and now he disrespects you again this way. You can probally expect that this is the way things will be between the two of you from now on.
The two of you need to be in agreement ASAP on a parenting agreement that both of you can agree on. For example, how often he will take your son, child support, holidays etc. Get it all legalized now before things get worse and his new gf decides to be more involved.
I'm so sorry for the sucky situation you're in.
2007-06-25 22:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a solicitor they can help with this, my ex did the same thing it was from my son that i found out,
he has no right to introduce someone else into your childs life without letting you know.
you could even suggest your son meeting her with you there, i understand how your feeling and that you don't want them to but they will eventually come hell or high water, better to do it with you in control than not
2007-06-25 22:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by hedgehornbeam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's his son too, unfortunately. I'm assuming he gets some custody with him? Divorce is awful... especially when your spouse cheated on you. My ex-boyfriend's dad has two children from a previous marriage... his ex-wife married the guy she cheated on him with and is now his kids' step dad. They get him father's day presents and everything. I'm sure my ex-bf's dad HATES it, but he lives with it. There's nothing you can do about it since it's his son also.
I would try my best to just stay out of their business and try not to find out things that you don't want to know. Just make sure your son is being well taken care of when he's with his daddy and enjoys the time he spends with him.
What ultimately counts is your child's well being! Sounds like you pretty much have full custody of your son, so just know that you'll always be his one and only mommy! You're the one he's going to be with for 90% of his life. :)
Time to move on! I hope you find happiness.
2007-06-25 22:03:20 · answer #5 · answered by Cochy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The question that comes to mind is, would you ever be happy with it?
Would you ever be happy with him introducing the woman he ran off with to your child? I doubt it.
He's had to make a decision, does he do it now knowing he intends to stay with her and so she'll be able to at least meet the child, or does he leave it for years which might make things harder for them to bond if they eventually get married.
Yes, it's very hard on you but his life is not with you anymore, he doesn't owe you anything.
He owes it only to his child and if he feels the BEST THING FOR THE CHILD is to meet her sooner rather than later then that's what he must do.
2007-06-25 22:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that your going through this. When you have children and you split its so hard on all of you.
You have the right to feel angry as I would too. If this was sombody that he knew for along time and knew that he was going to marry her or be with her for awhile then I would say yes it would be ok.
For him just knowing her for a short time I think that they need to get to know each other before they start getting to know the little one together. I think he may be doing this to make you mad or more like it JEALOUS.
Good Luck - Chattyokie
2007-06-25 22:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by chattyokie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really sucks that he cheated on you. That he left you. And that he isnt a good role model for your son.
But the truth is, he is getting on with the life he wishes to live... and your son is also his son, someone he loves and wants to stay in his life, a part of his life, regardless what that life may be.
This situation sucks balls real hard. But unless he is deliberately being malicious toward you, get over it.
==
Dont listen to Peggy, below me. I mean, unless you want to prove how much of a jealous biatch you can be... I would recommend not doing that. Ya know what Im saying? Your ex is living his life... and as upsetting as it may be to you, what he is doing (dating someone new) isnt inherently a bad thing. You most definately wont win in this case for limiting his visitation rights... but dont stoop so low as to try it.
If anything, limit his visitation rights for legitimate reasons... prove to the courts just how bad of an influence this guy is. "He's getting on with his life and isnt dwelling on me" isnt a legitimate reason.
2007-06-25 21:58:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
to me it sound as if you are still hurting over your breakup , is the woman he is with now a good woman will she be good to your son and does he like her ,thats all that really matters , alot of men walk out on there kids but your ex is still there for the child , you need to try and move on , i know this is hard but it will get easier focus on you and your child and start to have fun together ,
2007-06-26 03:17:12 · answer #9 · answered by sprookey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it hurts and i understand that it makes you feel hurt and angry..i do understand completely similar problem.. sadly you really have got to grit your teeth and do what is best for your son and hope that one day both your ex and this women get what they deserve.. you can try to sit down your ex and talk reasonably and agree what is best but bear in mind that he may lie and she will try to change his mind if he makes an agreement with you..i hope it gets better for you and i wish you all the luck in the world xx
2007-06-26 01:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by Redmuppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your attorney, and see if you can limit his visitation to only when she is not there, or at your home. Tell him that you don't want to see a lot of men and women in and out of your child's life.
2007-06-25 22:00:58 · answer #11 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋