Okay, well, my sister's husband has 2 kids from an ex-wife. I feel bad for them because I feel like the family treats them differently than the other kids that aren't steps. For example, they spend "half" on b-days as they would the others in the family. Is this fair? Should stepkids be treated equally??
2007-06-25 21:28:53 · 15 answers · asked by mom of 2 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The way I see it, step children are just as important as other kids.
2007-06-25 21:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly, I have a step daughter and she is a precious beautiful person and she calles me mom. I believe that when you take someone for better or worse you know what you are getting into and the kids should not suffer because they are not full blood kin to folks. They should be shown and treated the same as the other kids because this day and time kids need all the good influence's the can get and they need all the love and attention that anyone can give them. There aren't enough good influences in the world today, and they learn their behavior by watching the behavior of the ones around them. The biggest argurment I ever had with my mother was treating my daughter by my first marriage different from my two kids from my second marriage over gifts ect. She saw what I was talking about and came around. Kids don't understand things like that and could cause them problems through their lives and between siblings. Hang in there and try to help the others to see whats right.
2007-06-25 22:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they should be treated equally. Children are to young to understand anything more than that. My fiance's mother used to treat my oldest child (from a previous marriage) the same. But as the blood related grandchildren started coming (my daughter was here before she had any of her own grandchildren) . Things changed. My daughter is now almost 9 and she sees the difference on holidays. When the other children get their presents and they are somewhat nice gifts and there she stands with something that may have cost a dollar or two. Not that $ is the point. Equality is the point and a child should never have to feel like an outcast. Then again I have my the same problem with my ex and his g/f. He is my daughters father and they treat her as second priority next to his new g/f's children. That is a whole other conversation. It makes me sick!
2007-06-25 21:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the 'Step' out of the family. Everyone should be treated as equals. A child has no say whatsoever in who their biologiccal or step parents are. If two people, who have children from a previous marriage, get married then they accept full responsibility to be a parent to the children of their spouse. That is part of the package. Children have so much to contend with in growing up that they don't need the additional baggaage of a step parent who cannot accept or raise a child as his/her own. Take the Step out of the equation and just be parents or children.
2007-06-25 21:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by Judy F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure they should. But, how old are the kids? Sometimes when they are late teens, the kids are not real interested in getting close to the newest family members. Some new family, may not want to put 100% into a b-day celebration because they assume that's been done by the kid's family and that the kids may not want that from them. More communication maybe as to whom expects and wants what.
2007-06-25 21:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there well if 2 people are getting married and either partner has kids from a previous marriage/relationship ,then i firmly believe that the word step should be dropped like a hot tattie .......as they are a whole family together ,as you do not go around sayinh ...oh this is my 2nd wife to everyone do you ?its not fair on the kids that are called step as they have been through enough heart ache seeing there parents splitting up all these kids are looking for is sercurity in the new marriage /relationship just my view on things take care xx
2007-06-25 23:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of three step kids. If anyone did that be it my faimly or my husbands or there mom's I would not put up with that and if thats the way they felt I would ask them to not send anything for any of the kids. unless they could do for all it is not hte kids fault. they did not ask to be brought in to this world or the family but since they are there yes they should be treated equally!!!!!!
2007-06-25 21:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's really awful. Yes, stepchildren should be treated equally. They are now part of the family. If I ever remarry and my new husband's family doesn't treat my son the same way they treat the non-stepkids, we won't be attending many family barbecues!
2007-06-25 21:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a son who is a 'step' kid in my ex-husband's family. I never liked the way he was treated by my ex's family, even though they would deny they treated him differently. They were far more critical of his behaviors, spent less time and money on him, and gave him far fewer compliments.
My own family has always believed and tried to treat ANY kids or family members for that matter, as purely FAMILY.
2007-06-25 21:33:25 · answer #9 · answered by Gr8estluv 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
as for the step kids, if the parents and the kids all except them self as family, then yes the kid should be treated the same all way around, if they are not then sooner or later there will be a lot of problems made the father and mother for sure need to do this and if there are grandparents ,they need to do the same, if not then the parents need to speak up and stand their ground, its the parents kids not grandparents. believe me there will be problems and fights sooner or later.
2007-06-25 21:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by skip3800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋