Would you believe the other woman?

Question

After catching my husband cheating by text messaging to a married younger woman at his work, we separated and we
are seeing a therapist. I see some strange bills in his
bank account for lunches and dinner, breakfast. I called the
other woman and she told me that she had committed a mistake and that she;s only human and she wants to make
her marriage work and has not seen my husband or talked to him. The school they work out of is very big and their jobs
as a computer specialist and her job as a security officer don't
meet. Would you believe her? My husband sounded very
much infactuated by her since she's 30 and he's 47. Some
times I've heard that cheaters chill when they get caught and
after 5 or 6 weeks continue their affair. She told me that she
has never gone out with my husband and that she knows that
I hurt alot as a woman and that nothing's going on. Would you
bellieve this?

Answer 1

Personally if I was you.....I would try to find out how to get a hold of her husband. He has a right to know that his wife is a freakin' home wrecker. Don't believe crap she says. And I give you credit for staying with your husband. I don't think I'd trust mine. I don't buy into the whole once a cheater always a cheater, but I would venture to say that to a VERY HIGH DEGREE it's true. Like I said.....find out how to get in touch with her husband. I know I would. Look into the "odd" charges in your bank account statements. Don't be naive. Too many women are and just look the other way. You don't deserve that.

Answer 2

Not only no, but he** no! She has a vested interest in hoping that you believe her! Either she is still seeing your husband, or she wants to keep it from her husband, or both. And they had to have met sometime, otherwise said affair would not have occured.

Follow your husband if you need to, but I would rather bring the strange bills to the next therapy session with you and let the therapist interrogate him. Just my opinion.

I would also get in touch with the woman's husband. He has a right to know, and if she is still seeing your husband, this would help answer the question of whether or not she was telling you the truth. Plus, it's a small measure of what she deserves.

"She knows that you hurt alot as a woman?" What condescension. What crap. Don't believe a word. Find out what your husband is still up to, and let her husband know what she's been up to. Take control of the events in your life and force these two selfish people to take the consequences of their actions.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

It is very possible that he is seeing someone else. Usually after being caught, the other woman gets frightened and will not see the married man again. She probably also does not want her husband to find out about the affair either.

The only way that you can find out for sure what your husband is up to is to follow him. so go buy a wig, and borrow a friends car, and follow him.

Answer 4

I think you shouldn't put all the blame on the other woman. As a woman yourself, I think you can tell who is telling the truth. Well, since this has happened, I suggest either you consider a divorce straight away or you wish to remain separated. I know it is a tough decision to make but as long as you are happy and comfortable with the arrangements, everything will turn out fine.

Answer 5

No. Once a cheater always a cheater. Even if he is done with this one, he will find another one to replace her with. This is the kind of guy that places ads on craigslist looking for someone to cheat with. You deserve better. Why would you want to wonder and worry about this for the rest of your life? Dump him. There are other men out there, no matter how old you are.

Answer 6

Well, I don't believe the "once a cheater always a cheater" adage. I think people can make mistakes, be genuinely sorry, and move forward as a better person.

Besides, what would she gain by lying to you? Nothing. She's not in a relationship with you. She doesn't owe you an explanation. Personally, I think you should believe her. I think I would. It doesn't mean I would like her, but in this case, it sounds like she's being sincere.

Answer 7

They're BOTH liars, hence the lifestyle of CHEATING that they've both chosen.

If your husband swears he's not cheating and wants to repair the situation then take his word on it and give him a chance. If you SEE the unfaithfulness continuing then get an attorney and kick his butt out of your life.

I sincerelly hope there are no children involved!!

Answer 8

Nooooooo! not at all. They have to prove themself first. You should have warned that lady that you would call her husband and tell the story.
I think you have to black mail that lady who wants to sail in both the boats. She wants to have fun only for getting gifts and thrills from your husband and keep her own hubby in dark.
Age factor does play a great role in such circumstances......you have to work hard to get rid of her.

Answer 9

I think you should move on you are always going to be second guessing him trust will never be the same find someone who won't cheat on you even if he doesn't go back to her. He can always find someone else. I'm sorry for your hardship I hope you can find someone who will be honest and treat you the way a woman should be treated.

Answer 10

She sounds like she's trying to 'handle the situation'. Her husband probably doesn't even know. Do what you want, but I don't 'lie down' when people screw me over. I rub their face in the sh-t they created(if it's bad--not little things).
Do you honestly feel that you can believe her or him at this point.