I need to decrease my sexual drive?

Question

Ok this is starting to bother me. I got married last February but I lived with my now husband for a year. Well at the begining we used to have sex sometimes twice a day and then everything is going down the hill. He wants to do it once a week and because I bug him until we do it. HE IS NOT CHEATING ON ME! I know he is not since we spend so much time together and I know he loves me, he just do no feel like it anymore. He literaly goes to work, pick me up at my job and we come home together. I asked him if it's me if I should lose weigth or wear sexy cloths but he says that he stills wants me but not all the time. I am 24, he is 21 so, this is something I should be concern since we are so young. He works a lot but still, I want sex because I do enjoy having sex a lot! How can I decrease my sexual drive?

He comes from a christian family, and he thinks that lingerie is for prostitutes. This was never a problem until we got married

about the comment of the food and how I look like, every time I try to put on something sexy he tells me to put some other cloths because that is not decent. He thinks that sexy means=sluty. it's complicated! I always have a clean house and good food. I am hispanic and always make very good food. I don't think is that either

Answer 1

First off instead of working on the Quantity of your sexual relationship, try working on the QUALITY

try using planned seductions and spread things out a bit. like have 1/month where you take turns planning a romantic fantasy.

For instance

you begin and plan something for two weeks from today. send him a RSVP, and ask him to replay. then over the two weeks minimize your contact. and make him ANTISAPATE your night together. drop him litle notes with small hits at what might happen.

Hon I can not wait for our DATE together. "include some massage oil with a masculine scent like cedar, or chamomile and rub it on the letter.

in a couple days send a second note and talk about mayby his favorite foods, maybe include a small menu with 4 or 5 suggestede items and ask his feedback

Then say plan a romantic night together where you have dinner prepared for when he gets home from work on a friday night. have a drink in hand and meet him at the door in some "SEXY outfit.
bring him to a chair have him sit and relax and ask how his day whent? rub his feet while he tells you.

eat dinner together then have him relax in a hot bath you have prepared after dinner so you have time to set the room up for the next part.

Have a room full of candles, and after his bath where "YOU" towel dried him "with a bit of playful teasing" take him to your room of candles, and give him a sensual massage. try planning it for about 90 minutes, and try avoiding his peni* but play witht he rest of him. then in the end maybe offer a BJ, or ride your cowboy.

after the night ask how he liked it, and suggest that NEXT month is HIS turn.
FYI The Christian faith is NOT agains things sexual, they just prefer that it be done in the context of the matromonial bedroom. IE that the couple be married.

Just about EVERY religious marrital councioler will promote things that can spice up the sex life, as long as it's consentual between the husband, and wife, and it stay's between husband and wife.
Roleplay, restraints, sexual dress ware, and toys are part of most married couples "play selection" or Toy chest.

I highly suggest you read
His needs, Her needs, and Women Power ASAP

God Bless

Answer 2

I think you should try doing new things in the bedroom. My girlfriend had this problem with me over the past few months and what really turns this around is make yourself look more attractive. Your husband (and all other men) is a very visually stimulated kind of guy. If you send time getting yourself made up, put some v-neck or low-cut shirts on, wear some skirts that show off your legs, and display some of the best features on your body, he could get more turned on.

I think you should also try reading sex books together. The best bonding experience I have had is going into a bookstore and picking out literature filled with things we both wanted to try. Try experimenting with new things instead of getting into the same old routines. Tell your husband you want to go out RIGHT NOW and you both have to get dressed up. Just because you're married doesn't mean you stop dating. A healthy marriage revolves around dating and never getting into "routines" like you are falling into.

There is nothing wrong with you having a big sex drive. You're human and most of us have extremely huge ones. I firmly believe you shouldn't be pointing the fault just in your general direction because you both have to keep the passion fire burning.

Answer 3

Millions of people have that rabbit life style---then after they marry and start having a REAL life with work and bills and stress and pressure, they start to slack off on the sex. ...welcome to a normal life. Do you really think sex is all that there is to a relationship?? Your added stress is not helping. And you're not mentioning all the other stuff--is he coming home to a mess?? Crap food?? What do you look like now?? Hey--something is up and he is afraid to say it. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship and marriage--someone is not communicating properly--back off and give it a break. You don't have to decrease the drive--you need to turn up the heat in him---There is a problem somewhere--be honest and figure it out. reduce the stress on him--quit the nagging --don't ask about stuff--just do it on your own. Spontaneous reactions will come---but GOD--give it a break for a week or two--talk about something else.

Answer 4

Masturbate. A lot. Let him know that once a week is a recipe for disaster and that sex is a big part of a marriage. If both parties are not satisfied, cheating happens. No matter the best of intentions this could happen. In every normal relationship sex does decline over time, but you both need to compromise. In everything. Marriage is nothing but compromise. Figure out what is the least you can have and the most he can give. Like most other people that are not getting enough sex, find new ways to self satisfy. You really need to talk to your hubby. This is a cancer that will grow.

Answer 5

There could be many reasons why your husbands sex drive has depleted, but one that comes to mind is that it has got boring - to much to often. it doesn't matter how good you are in bed or you go about it, it's just to routine, and this can take all the fun out of love making. To slow down your sex drive isn't fair on you. shhh!! maybe buy yourself a vibrator(i didn't say that). All jokes aside, why don't you and hubby talk to a doctor, he might see something there that could help you both.

Answer 6

Maybe you just need to go solo a bit. If you give it to him ALL the time he'll get bored. Just too much of the same thing that not even sexy clothes and toys could spice up. Give him a little break. Then let him come to you. Play hard to get a little. Or let him catch you doing something and let that peak his interest. Tease him a little bit. But keep it descreat.

Answer 7

It sounds like something is wrong, and you should be concerned.
Not because he wants it only once a week, but because it used to be twice a day, this is quite a big difference in a short space of time.
Don't try to decrease your sex drive, he should be considerate of your needs.
You will need to find out why he has lost interest.
I would be doing a bit of snooping.
Good luck.

Answer 8

hell no you don't, I agree with lay off, take care of yourself, sometimes less is more (much to yur surprise once it finally rolls around) when he gets really hungry then hold him off and hence reset the balance before the girl at the cashregister starts stirring your loins. I'm about to recommend j morris but before I do let me just say in marriage its gonna take its course (sexdrive) and the both of you won't always be on the same page and do get him checked out, you may need to see if something broken needs fixing and do remember it ain't cool to leave someone in marriage just because something goes wrong with the other.

Answer 9

perhaps he is tired but being only 21 that should not be an issue. I am thinking there is something wrong with him. hell when I was his age I would have sex 20 times a day if I could. perhaps he is already tired of the marriage or he has a medical issue why he is so tired.

Answer 10

be respectful of him....he may be tired or not want to as much....If he doesn't want to that's ok..HOWEVER if you want to he needs to compromise as well.... set a number...say 3 times a week....not too often..not not often enough...

As far as his whole "indecent" issue...a lot of men want a sexy g/f...but their wife is another story..she sticks... You've heard the expression every guy wants to sleep with a W***e but wants to marry a lady??

If you are wearing the lingerie for him....it's obviously not working....try to figure out what he likes....

BUT...if you are wearing it because it makes you feel sexy and beautiful...he needs to loosen up a little....

Sounds like the problem here may be ya'lls communication...Talk it out...find some middle ground :)