What should I do? My kids are grown...but we are very close.
2007-06-25 18:53:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing like a great family. In todays society it is a rare thing, for grown children to want to continue a family relationship, this tells me that you did a great job of raising them, and when they are married and have children they too will continue this tightness with their own children...your granchildren.
I can also understand your husband wanting some privacy with you, and this too is ok. How to tell your kids this without hurting their feelings will take some thinking, but your husband also needs to know how important your family means to you, and that you love him, and you love your children....choosing is unfair, and impossible. IF the children are coming around daily....maybe they could not come around 2 days a week and leave those 2 days for the 2 of you. I am sure this will all get worked out.
2007-06-25 19:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has his life changed? You say your children are grown - are you both at retirement age, or is he still working? Maybe he was raised in a family where grown children were not close with their parents after they moved out of the house. Tell him that even though your children are grown, you still maintain a close relationship with them. Assure him that this relationship in no way detracts from your feelings for him. If he persists, then maybe counseling is in order.
2007-06-26 01:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by Russell F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Define "very close". Does that mean you are constantly, daily involved with their lives? Does that mean you get together for every holiday and event?
He married you, not your grown children, and he wants to spend his time with you. Sounds like you might be a little too invested in your kids' lives, rather than focusing on your hubby.
2007-06-26 01:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He need to know where to get off. It doesn't matter that your children are grown you are still their mom and he should know that he can't come between that.
Some men feel as if they own you when you marry them. He really sounds like he can be abusive weather it is physical or emotional. That is the first signs of an abusive person which is they want to isolate you from friends and family so be careful. And assert yourself so he knows he can't do that.
2007-06-26 02:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by cinnamon35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are always your kids, and nothing he does will change that. Does he feel that you are too involved in your kids' lives, at the expense of your life together? You might want to ask him that.
But from my point of view, and I say this having married someone with a kid, the child is always that persons child. He knew upfront that they were there to stay in your life.
Talk to him and see if there is room for compromise. If not you need to decide if you can live with his demands.
Good luck.
2007-06-26 02:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by Lili Montegue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kids are grown they will be fine with giving you guys some time alone. He should love you enough not to try and make you choose between him and your children. You should tell him that. But most of us grown children understand that you want alone time. Tell them you guys need time alone to be newly weds.. You can still find time to be with your children too without him if that is his preference.
2007-06-26 02:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kids are grown they should be on their own. However they should be in contact with you on a daily basis, this is the way it goes with any close loving family!
2007-06-26 02:23:59 · answer #7 · answered by QuantumB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that they are your kids and that if you want to see them, then he has to sit there like a good boy. You will allow him his privacy, but not at the expense of loosing your children.
2007-06-26 01:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand him wanting 'privacy'. but if he wants the kids to totally disappear and have nothing to do with you just sounds sorta controlling to me. don't you think? i'd be carefull with that type of person. talk to him and let him know that your children are yours forever, and that he can't keep you from them.
you said your children are grown right? do they still live with you? or are they constantly at your house? talk to both. let them know how you feel.
good luck.
2007-06-26 02:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey this sounds like my mother in law....her husband died and the guy that married her is kinda selfish but so is she...I would tell this guy how you feel...if he still isnt interest in hearing it...then apparently he doesnt love you enought to care what you want...
2007-06-26 01:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋