My girlfriend has kids.I want to leave because I know I have no future with her.The only thing is that she isnt working and I dont think she can handle the bills.She is 10 years older than me (I'm 23).Should I be feeling guilty about leaving her?How can I make sure she'll be okay and still move on with my life.I feel so bad that I want to leave.
2007-06-25 18:26:20 · 13 answers · asked by I got the answer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, she is an adult, and she handled her life before you came along. She'll handle her life after you leave too. Move on, and don't let the guilt trip sure to follow keep you with someone who isn't right for you.
2007-06-25 18:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is really no need for you to feel guilty. Since you know there is no future for you with her, leave as soon as you can, and get on with your own life. She managed on her own before the two of you met, and she will manage on her own again. You are far too young to be tied down with someone else's children, and all the accompanying bills.You have a right to happiness, as much as anyone else has, and staying with her is not going to bring you that, so move on, and do not feel guilty because you could not love her enough to stay. It is obvious that you care about her and the children, and that you have a soft heart, but beware that it does not stand in the way of your own happiness.
2007-06-25 21:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think you do not have a future with her? If you really don't, and it sounds as if you do not, get out now and don't look back. Her financial problems and the kids are the responsibility of the children's father long before you should be responsible.
It sounds like you are one of those need-to-be-needed guys. That's fine, but need works best when it is mutual and reciprocated.
Your healthy choice is between guilt-free leaving, and staying because you love her--not stahying out of your need to be a helper and rescuer. Your call.
2007-06-25 18:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what did she do before you? She'll do that again. Never live with a woman who has kids because it's too hard on the kids when the guy decides to leave. It's like their little lives get so confused. The woman should know better and have more brains than that. One of you has to think of the kids.
2007-06-25 18:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is 33 not dead. She can work. I would worry about the kids not the grown woman. I hope the best for her children. They are the only ones innocent in all of this mess. Did she have those bills before you or did you two make them together? If so you need to get them as low as possible for her and then tell her what day you will be going so she can get herself together..
2007-06-25 18:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just move on.... you know she is not the one for you and that is what dating is all about. Next time, don't move in with a woman and play house. This all could have been avoided if you have kept your own place, her in hers, and you just dated.
This is why you should wait until you are married to live with someone. Then you don't have these problems or worries.
Learn from this.
2007-06-25 18:31:38 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's a big girl now...with children & yrs, I'm certain she can make do... Who was taking care of her & the children before you? You're young & less 1 or some of them kids are yours (in which case you needed to fork up the child support), you needn't feel "responsible" for a grown woman with baggage. Although, she'll definitely try to make you feel obligated.
2007-06-25 18:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by 4everFaithful 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If any of them are your kids, then you should feel bad. If they are not your bio kids, then you need to talk to her, give her time to get on her financial feet before you leave. It wouldnt be right to just walk out suddenly without notice. And ya, dont leave any of your part of the bills left unpaid.
2007-06-25 18:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt feel too bad... why do you need to be a father to her kids at 23?? find someone with no kids. she can ask the father for some more support, and get a damn job. her issues with money arent yours.... you can be sure shell be okay because the sun comes up every morning...
2007-06-25 18:31:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your gf made her own decisions about life, love, children and her economic situation. You are not responsible for her economic situation, she is. Do you feel guilty that she has children? Do you feel guilty that she has whatever level of education she has? Do you feel guilty she is living where she is living? Unless you are personally responsible for any of these things, they are all the result of her own choices...not yours. Save your guilt for things that you do that turn out badly.
2007-06-25 18:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋