Bipolar Love... Is it possible.?

Question

Back in Feb, i dropped everything I was doing... A good job, school..To relocate to be with a female who is bipolar. She told me about her disorder as soon as we met, and being the understanding and psychology major that I am, I did not shut her out. I thought we could work. It was sooo good in the beginning. She was sick, and had to have major surgery. She didn't want to do it becuase she had noone to be there for her and her kids. i dropped my life to be here for her. It's been a few months now and physically she's doing better, but her bipolar is out of control. She is so mean to me. After all I do for her, it seems like she doesn't appreciate it. Also, are bipolar people compulsive liars? It seems that when it's time to do something responsible she lies and says she's sick, so that she won't have to do it. She lies about her doctor's appointments when she doesn't want to go. And it's like she doesn't remember being mean to me when she's mean. Is this normal?? Someone please help!!!

Answer 1

Run!she will never appreciate you,never truly love you,not because she is bi-polar,but she is too selfish and inconsiderate to give love..the personality you describe sounds like there is a lot more going on then bi-polar.,borderline personality.phycosis..I don't know but you need to think about your self,God knows she won't.and just don't look back,there will be drama and blame when you try to leave,maybe abuse,never a thank you unless it is a manipulating ,dishonest one,you have seen the true colors,keep the good memories and go away,and watch out for these signs you have learned in the future,you sound compassionate and that is a game many use to use you..they usual laugh behind your back and call you stupid cause they have no idea how compassion feels.

Answer 2

A lot of what you describe is true of some bi-polar people...some of the worst cases...as there are a few degrees of the disorder. However, I have found that a lot of these "worst case scenerios" actually have other disorders along with the bi-polar...including behavioral disorders...and can often be associated with coming from a bad backround, or just having had some bad life experiences.

Some of these extreme bi-polars who show other personality disorders...such as patholocial lying, will often crave constant drama and attention, and use their disease as an excuse when they abuse others. A good sign of these might be people who wear their disorder on their sleeve ( such as telling people that they meet right away, that they have the disorder)

There is also the issue of misdiagnosis. Often with the extreme cases...because the disorder shares so many symptoms with other psychological disorders and some physiological disorders...there is a good chance that they might not be bi polar at all...but have other disorders related to their life's experience.

Also, many times, these worse cases don't want to take their meds.

It's hard to tell, being that I don't know all the details of your problem....but I would say that you have to decide if it's worth it to you to stay in the relationship. Things could get worse..but ask her for some kind of commitment to working on the problem with you. If she really is bi-polar, and taking her meds...it should not be that extreme...so either she isn't bi-polar..or she is, but also has other issues...or she is not taking the meds, and she should consider taking them regularly...if not for herself, then for the relationship. It's not fair to you to expect you to deal with the abuse indefinately. If she really is that bad...she needs to be in regularly scheduled therapy.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have a very bad situation on your hands. You are not responsible for her, if she will not help herself. don't allow her to treat you that way. Just because she is Bipolar, does not mean that she is not responsible for her own actions. If she does not take her medication, and visit her psychiatrist when she is supposed to, then she is not holding up her end of the deal. It is time to tell her that. You can not do it all. She is becoming too reliant on you to solve her problems. Tell her that if she does not get out there and act like a responsible adult, that you will need to leave her. Allowing her to become dependent on you for everything is not helping her, it is hurting both her and her children.

Answer 4

She's probably just a bit hyped up, you know, manic and when you're hyped up like that why give a damn about other people when they're so ******* stupid??? Seriously. That is the exact thought process.

She doesn't remember being mean, because she doesn't see what she is doing as mean. She doesn't register your reactions only her own.

She lies about being sick because she's using you. Either that or she just doesn't want to be a nut, who the **** wants to be bipolar? So she's spending all her energy pretending to be stable and can't muster up any more to actually do anything. Of course, she just might not give a damn about what you're asking her to do.

Is she recieving her regular chemical lobotomy er medications? Is she taking them?

Answer 5

Kind of you to want to be there for her I commend you. You need to educate yourself on this desease more. and the fact that she doesnt' want to go to the doctors. could also be telling you she isnt' take her meds. many times its hard to have them take there meds they have so many reasons. but i think if you had a support group someone there so your not alone and someone who can help you with questions that come up and how to better handle the situation would help emmensely. check out your local support groups in your city phamplets internet the doctor etc... I know you want to help your friend but before you can do that you need to understand the disease better. and remember when she's being hateful and hurtful to you its not her its the disease.