My best friend, has a 19 yr. old boy, he has hit her in the face, stold her medication, drinks with his friends in house when Mom & Dad aren't home. He is Biopolar, Adhd and OCD. Takes his drugs sometimes, her husband is no help. Quite Man, doesn;'t really disapline the kid. SO my girlfriend is stuck doing everything, tonight I called her and she said there at it again, I e-mailed her and said call the cops. I called her(she is in Illinois) Iam in Texas. I told her to call the cops, she said they won't do anything. This kid needs help, like he should get kicked out of house. Where or what can she do or send him?
2007-06-25 17:42:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he assaulted her, she could press charges.
she should talk to his guidance counsellor at his school.
if he's out of school, she should kick him out until he learns some manners.
2007-06-25 17:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by bettyx1138 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This 19 year old is a GROWN MAN. He is taking advantage of his parents and they are ENABLERS. They can't by law send him any place. HE IS AN ADULT.
This is a story that is happening so many times that it isn't funny. These parents need help not the GROWN MAN.
They need to go to counseling and pay for the counselor to tell them to make him leave. He is old enough to take his medicine if he wants to or not. He is old enough to work or not. They can use those excuses forever if they want. Also, if he hits his mother, he needs to be arrested. The police will arrest him for family violence. My husband is a retired police officer.
Do they want to take care of him when he is 30, 40 or 50. The way that it is going, they will. What is he going to do when they die? Or would they rather have him grow up now?
Tell him to leave. Give him a time limit of maybe two weeks and then stick with it. If he doesn't leave, put all of his things outside and change the locks. When they do this he will grow up and they will have a mature adult friend for a son.
2007-06-25 18:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he's 19 I dont really think she will be able to send him anywhere (even thou he's got some disorders, as long as hes not a threat to himself, you wont be able to leagally force him into a hospital or home).... And as for 'kicking him out' that is kind of like an illegal eviction if he has lived there for a while (whether he pays or not)
If she really wants to give him a dose of reality and show how serious she is about him shaping up, she should give him an eviction notice. Eviction rules/laws are different in every state, sometimes you only need 10 days and sometimes you need 30. Either way, once he is served with the eviction papers (with the reason[s] he's being evicted) he's going to have to do some thinking about his actions. And hopefully after some time on his own he will grow up some.
2007-06-25 17:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Doobie Sister 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to send him to a facility where he can get help with all the conditions he have. Try to put him in some kind of Rehab program or sign him over to the state and let them know that she can not take care of him. What is husband theree for if he can not help her discipline ther son. It is his job just as well as hers to deal what he is doing to their home. Since the cops can not do anything look up for programs or call his doctors and ask them how can she go about putting him in a facility or signing him over to the state. It's taking a strain on her and it should be doing the same to her marriage, but he has to help her and either he gets locked up or put him out.
2007-06-25 18:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is assaulted by her son, the cops will most definately do something about it - se is just afraid of what the consequenses will be afterwards.
now that he is 19, the problem is that he can make his own decisions, she can't force him into treatment - like she could have before he turned 18...
she can try to do an intervention - where a counselor comes to the house and she along with other people closeto him try to convince him he needs help...and basically tell him, he takes the help, or he has to leave - his only two choices.
2007-06-25 17:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hes unstable with all those symptoms he needs help himself with his own emotions. but if he physically attacks she CAN press charges. the father not protecting her is sick. She has the right to press charges and thats that. If she does, then the police will have to deal with him and so will jail and maybe that will teach him a lesson. As far as her own medication. She needs to lock that away in a locked box or in her car or leave it at work. There are ways around some of this. If they areent home he needs to go with them and she needs to enforce that. That can maybe be done through a restraining order. she needs to start looking at options. sounds like he needs help too and that drugs and alcohol are involved. I am going to say TREATMENT Center and AA should be on the table when the charges are pressed maybe for the whole family to start going. somethings wrong there
2007-06-25 17:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness, you must feel so helpless living so far away from your friend with this going on.
It's obvious the son needs help. When he is having an episode call an ambulance to at least get his abuse on record if the police won't do anything. Or call his doctor and tell him/her the behavior. I think this guy needs committed until he can get controlled or he may really hurt someone.
2007-06-25 17:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 19 and as a child i lived in my own world with insane thoughts that grew from negative things and my imagination going places it shouldn't be.....my parents sent me to a boarding school and i've turned out so different in 11 years.
I watch maury with my folks and if you or your friend write to him then they get these boot camp people to help you for free or oprah can deal with something like this.....he needs psychological help and its expensive and hard to convince but does he even agree to sit down and talk about himself?
I would show him a threat to how his life is gonna be if his parents decide to just forget him and kick him on the streets....his friends are sooner gonna lose the money to crack and he doesn't sound like he could keep a mc donald job either......REHAB
2007-06-25 17:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by Janvi P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your bf she has a serious issue bp patients need their meds and if they don't take them and proceed to drink and take other meds they are considered insane, she needs to be very careful! Every state has different laws for these things I would suggest a restraining order to keep him out and maybe to call mental institute for advice or research on the net what to do for that state when in that situation.Tell her to be careful sometimes a bp patient can harm people.
2007-06-25 17:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by melissa p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my only suggestion is to call the cops and say he is endangering her well being/feels threatened. Just kick him out change the locks and dont let him in, call cops if he keeps herassing, besides that i dont know. it sounds really weird that the cops wont do anything.
2007-06-25 17:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by reinaderaul 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey bro listen ive been in a similar place. My ex's brother has real problems in his head and thinks hes a gangster he would steal from everyone to buy dope beat on his sisters and mother and even tried it on me. If no-one in the situation is willing to handle it there is nithing u can do but be their emotionally for your gf and tell her that its not gonna get any better without action on their part.
2007-06-25 17:47:33 · answer #11 · answered by RinG-MasteR 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋