Im 15 years old i've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year we're both emotionally ready for sex .

Question

i want to be safe about it and ask my mom for birth control without going behind her back , she's still not loving the face i've been with him this long and were so close , and still treats and thinks of me as her little girl , i dont know her reaction , i dont know how to approach it , help ?!

Answer 1

Oh sweetheart. I've been in your shoes. I know that there is nothing anyone could possibly say to tell you not to have sex until you are married. There is no way one could explain to you all of the reasons that you should and will one day be so happy that you waited.

I got pregnant at 17. I was sexually active at 14. I regret it. I have regreted that I was sexually active so early over and over. There are so many reasons why I wish I would have waited. Looking back, how cool would it have been if my husband were the first partner I would have been with and on my honey moon all the sexual fantasies could have been revealed. I would have had nothing to look back and compare him too! I would give anything today if he were the only one ever - what a greater bond we could have. I also wouldn't have gotten pregnant and struggled as I did at that young age raising a child and missing out on college as I did. I wouldn't have probems with my body as I do since I've had sex so early - there are actually some female related problems I've encountered from being sexually active so young. God forbid if I would have had a sexually transmitted disease to deal with as well. I'm sure there are so many more issues having sex at a young age can cause that I couldn't really explain where you would feel the passion from the type writing you are reading.

I just want to encourage you to abstain. Don't have sex yet. I sure hope you won't - I'm sure you are beautiful and yes, you sound very smart and interested in finding out more. If this guy loves you, he will be there for you years and years to come. You can wait - try not to get into situations where you are cornered and alone with him and tempted. You can do it -I don't know you - but your better than me...

I'm 31 now and have 3 children of my own. My husband today(of 14 years) and I had my first daughter 13 yrs. ago. And 2 more children after her. But he wasn't the first man I was sexually active with. I sooo wish he were. You don't have to have sex yet - You can do this dear friend...

(By the way my two sisters got pregnant early too, one at 15 and one at 16, I held out the longest oddly. Their lives have been oh so difficult too and neither one of them have been with their boyfriends since the pregnancies. They too wish they'd have been more careful and not have been sexually active as they were.)

Answer 2

Your really ready? So you know what you will do if you get pregnant? You are ready and able to get a job and support a child if the birth control doesn't work? If you do get pregnant you are positive he is ready to be a father and take care of this child even if things don't work out between the two of you? You are prepared to start dealing with things like std's? You will be able to handle it if things don't work out and he starts seeing another girl? Or he starts sleeping with another girl?

Birth control isn't going to stop any of these things. It can help lessen your chance of getting pregnant but it is no guarantee. Abstinence is your only sure way of knowing that you are not pregnant or infected with an STD.

You are 15.... are you ready to marry this guy? Why would you give up such a wonderful gift to a guy you will probably not be with a few years from now. Why would you want to risk getting pregnant or want to go through the pain of giving yourself to someone you are not married to.

Do you think sex is some game? You are not emotionally ready... there is MORE involved than emotions. This is REAL LIFE and you better be darn sure you are ready for all the CONSEQUENCES... and I highly, highly doubt you truly are.

Answer 3

At 15 your not ready emotionally, you don't really know about love yet. You haven't had any real tests, you haven't had money issues or differences. you might have had some HS drama, and he stuck by you through that nasty rumor and now your so close.

Let me give you the stats on my graduating class (06') long term couples, 2+ years. NONE have lasted a year past graduation, even the couples that got married (heading for divorce) or the ones with kids. You will change so much in that first year after HS whether its going to college or gettng a real job.

Do you want to give it up to a guy who won't be there in a few years? And if he is, that's amazing, but he can wait until then.

Can you handle hte pressure of waiting in fear for your period every month because your paranoid you'll be pregnant? BC isn't entirely effective, there are tons of factors that limit effectiveness such as other medication, vitamins, your body weight and chemistry. If you do go on it realize you have to take that pill at the EXACT same time every day otherwise its worthless. And your boyfriend doesn't know how to properly use condoms yet, he probably think two are more effective than one. Or that he needs magnums to impress you.

If you really want to do this, thinka bout if you'll regret it on your wedding night (whether its to the same guy or not), if you'll regret it if you two break up?

Then talk to your mom, she's right she's not loving the fact because your so young and wants you to make the right choices, not hte ones that seem instantly gratifying. If you can't talk to her upfront about it then it's not worht it, your really not ready for hte responsibility that comes with sex.

Just sit her down and tell her you want to talk about your relationship with ___, explain that things are getting really serious with him on both mental and physical levels. Talk to her about everything, about your fears and your hopes, about how strong you feel your relationship is. Then REALLY LISTEN to what she has to say, just don't brush her off as not liking your boyfriend or not understanding. She was your age once and may not want you to make the mistakes she idd. Then mention you want birth control, and see where that convo takes you, but really think about what she says and trust her. She loves you and wants whats best, so listen to her and think about it before you make any decisions.

Answer 4

You seem too young for sex. Granted, a year in today's age is a big deal. What is your hurry? If you have sex, you have a high chance of getting pregnant, where if you abstain, you have a 100% of not getting pregnant.

You may want to hear your mother out. She has been your age, and she knows a thing or two about being 15. Why can't our boyfriend wait? I applaud your maturity in wanting to go to your mother about birth control. Don't go behind her back. This is a situation best handled maturely. If you are truly ready to have sex, then you are ready to handle the consequences of dealing with your mother's reaction to your choice. If you wish to avoid your mother, it is a definite sign that you are not mature enough to make this decision.

No matter what you do...protect yourself.

Answer 5

Hone, be sure he is the one you want to give your virginity to. Make sure its really love, and not lust, and just be open with your mom. I know that when I become a parent, although I'd rather nto have my 15 year old having sex, I'd rather get her on the pill , or buy her condoms or sponges so she doesn't get pregnant. And unless you're planning on starting a family soon, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS use protection. Insist upon it. If he's not willing, he doesn't get any. Simple as that. Think of this too. I'm 24, and I know girls who have 9 and 10 year olds who are my age. Not every teen gets pregnant, but think of that before you do anything. Good luck.

Answer 6

ALL birth controls only work half the time, and the only thing pulling out is going to do it nothing. No peanut butter or bread is NOTHING! Can you support a child? Can you live with the fact if you get an abortion you'll be a mess the rest of your life from MURDERING a DEFENSELESS child the rest of your life? Abortion can kill YOU also! Can you support a baby right now without ANYONE'S help?

Answer 7

Im glad your emotionally ready but the my friend did that also. He is so miserable. After that he wanted more until it beacame a pure physical relationship, he couldnt even tell her he loved her anymore it changed them. When you think you are thats when you know it will be hard to resist but try. I know im talking like an adult here but im 16 ok so its no big deal you will give up your virginity, your reputation, and possibly your boyfriend for some moments of pleasure

Answer 8

At 15 you are not emotionally, mentally or physically read to have sex with your boyfriend. Definitely discuss it with your mother and if you still want to go ahead, make sure that you have protection, not just from pregnancy but also from STD's.

Do you really want to have sex or is your boyfriend putting pressure on you? i.e. Is he saying have sex with me or I will find someone else who will? If this is the situation, then quote Arnie to him HASTA LA VISTA BABY. In other words, tell him to get lost.

Answer 9

When I was around your age I thought I was ready too. But I know now that I was not emotionally ready for what is involved with sharing something so special. Its a bit early, but good that you are going to use protection. And if you are worried about your Moms reaction, you are not ready for this big decision.. Please think about it.

Answer 10

Emotionally yes. Physically and Mature enough no. You love your boyfriend and want to express your love to him which is understandable, BUT SEX CAN WAIT! You got your whole life ahead of you to have sex. People, especially teens that have sex before marriage often regret it. They feel guilt, and wish they would have waited. You also run the risk of unwanted pregnancy and getting Sexual Transmitted Diseases such as HIV and AIDS. Trust me wait until you are married to have sex!