How can I make my husband fall back in love with me?

Question

My husband has been telling me that he is having very strong sexual thoughts about other woman that are thin, blonde and big breasted. Him and I have been having issues and I want to try anything I can to make him think of me in a more sexual and loving way.

Answer 1

Was that a type o "other woman", or did you mean, "other
women"? "Woman", would indicate he's already thinking of
someone in particular. And "women", is that he plans to look
around. It sounds to me, like he's telling you that he wants you
to lose weight and be thin. As far as big breasted, only nature
could give that. And as far a blonde goes, that comes from
a bottle. I'm glad to hear he hasn't given you an ultimatum of
some kind. Like wanting to have his fantasies come true and
plans to make that happen somehow. That does happen
when a couple include another involved with their love making. But it takes a strong marital bond to allow that and
still stay together later, due to jelousy.
It could be, that he's crying out for you to change your
appearance anyway. And he's using a rude, crude and in-
sensitive way to break it to you. Maybe you've let yourself go
and he's tired of the hum drum of the routine of things. You'll
have to sit down and talk to him without a fight and see where
you can come to terms on what the two of you need to do
to 'find' each other again. If you still have sex together, you
can easily spice things up by wearing skimpy things to bed
that are soft and silky to the touch. Or maybe nothing at all.
Rub lotions that smell enticing all over before going to bed.
Try to make an effort to be seductive between the sheets and
approach him and be the aggressor for once. Some guys
really get turned on to that, when they're used to being the
one to take the lead. I could go on but this forum isn't the place. I'm suggesting that you change from the routine and
mundane to being a new exciting person when the two of you have the time and privacy to be alone. You can't change your
appearance 100%, but you can change your attitude and
personna to be more inviting and alluring. Even to someone
you've been married to for years. Sex can become so stale
and unexciting, and then two people fall into other habits to
replace sex. Quite often snacking and watching TV. So you
both will have to make a renewed effort which you can insti-
gate. And if he's still not interested or enough, then it's time
to part ways and find a new life with someone who will want
you just as you are, without wanting you to change your
appearance. I'm sure he could stand a few improvements
himself. Those who criticize in some manner, usually do. Buy
a sex toy or two to change the pattern and see if he's inter-
ested in playing a few games. I'd try every idea you can
muster if you want him to stay bad enough. But it's a two way
street, you can't make him do anything. If he's just bored, he
may just come around when he's got someone exciting again.

Answer 2

I am sorry that he felt the need to tell you that. It would of upset me when I was younger. Now that I am older I have come to realize that I like the woman I am with or without my husband. I know all his good qualities and his bad. You should sit and talk with your husband. Don't be afraid to talk about it all. He seems to be letting it all out then you need to do the same. You should always do what you can to keep your marriage together. It is hard work even after twenty years. There is always temptation out there but how we choose to handle it is the key to a long marriage. I hope the best for you.

Answer 3

Throw some humor in.

Don't go dying your hair and getting a boob job. However, maybe you want to invest in a sexy blonde wig and some lingerie you wouldn't normally wear. Surprise him one evening.
If he has fun with it, great, then how lucky are you that he actually shares his sexual fantasies with you??!!?? :)
You can stash it in the closet until he moves onto redheads, and hey, don't forget to make your own personal requests too!!!
He should at the very least appreciate the effort. If it doesn't do it for him, don't get hurt. However, if he doesn't even appreciate the mere effort, ditch him.

Answer 4

Ouch! What an unkind thing to say. While on the one hand I gotta give him props for his honesty, he doesn't have to be so brutal about it...! Seriously, I'd communicate to him how very hurtful that is.

I'd strongly encourage you two to seek counseling if you're serious about saving your marriage. It might be difficult for you to hear his answers, but you need to ask HIM what you can do to make him think of you in a more sexual and loving way. You might or might not be willing to step up to what he wants, but at least you'll know and you can take things from there.

Good luck!

Answer 5

This doesnt sound like an issue of love, it sounds like sex. And if sex is the problem, make it more interesting. Take a trip to a sex store. Buy toys and roll-play, get kinky in the bedroom and let him fulfill his fantasies through you. As you all get older you will adapt tp and start to have a taste for different things. The key is to grow together and not to grow apart. Go at it and have fun.

Answer 6

The only way to find out what
(or who) he really wants is to communicate with him. Ask him what his desires are. If you can't be included in his desires, then try to make a way. Make sure and let him know that your willing to work with him. But never let him substitute you with someone else, thats cheating. Good luck -

Answer 7

Be the person that he fell in love with to begin with. Sometimes we forget who we are and why we fell in love. Be yourself. If you feel that you are not physically adequete, don't worry about that. If you want to impress him by loosing weight or working out ask him for encouragment and support. My guess is that you have got to be yourself the woman that he fell in love with.

Answer 8

Your husband is rude selfish inconsiderate A hole. Tell him to do what ever he wants and you will do the same because there are a lot of men who will love and cherish you just like you are!!! What has happened to women? Where is your self respect. Leave the b*st*rd and don't have children with him.

Answer 9

Good news for you, at least he's talking to you about it, that means he's trying. Acknowledge this to him and tell him you want to try too. Talk to him and see what he wants. Maybe try a counselor.

For yourself try a sexy makeover. It may make you feel better about yourself and feel sexier.

Answer 10

Try counseling. Other than that, wow...I don't know. If he wants someone that you cannot be (and should not be) move on maybe. I'm sorry...(My ex husband did this to me.)