Let's make this more real and personal. I once stupidly cheated (once and only time) on my girlfriend (whom I loved and still love deeply), she found out. She broke up with me (which I think was the right thing to do), however I still love her deeply. It's been more than two years and both of us haven't looked for another partner. Can trust be re-established can love be opened again after such a negative experience?????? We now live in different countries but write/email to each other. What's the general consensus?
2007-06-25 16:23:57 · 12 answers · asked by bluecat_pur 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Been down on my knees so many times...... she knows I'm sorry and that I know how much I hurt her.
2007-06-25 16:39:14 · update #1
I get attention but I can't be interested in someone else, I'd rather be celibate for life if you know what I mean. I'm ok with no-one. Still i'd like to dedicate my life to my ex, make her feel good.
2007-06-25 16:43:12 · update #2
Trust is very hard to regain. Its not as simple as saying "you can trust me, i won't do it again," you have to prove it and you'll have to prove it all your life. she will still worry that you will cheat. my husband and I have been working on our marrige for almost 4 yrs now, he cheated on me, and it broke my heart. its been very hard to trust him at all, and i'm just begining to feel the trust return, but very slowly. I'm guarded because I don't want to have my heart broken again. Its been a long hard road, but its a road we are traveling together. You need to remember that life is full of hills and valleys....you have to be willing to take the good with the bad. And when the bad comes you have to be willing to work on it together as a couple. Good luck.
2007-06-25 16:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but it's over.
Once a woman decides that you are a cheater and pretty much has laid down the wrath, she is unlikely to go back to that. One of my best friend (a female) is going through the same thing. Her husband cheated on her with a married woman, and she found out. What ended up was that she is divorcing her husband while the husband of the woman who cheats also has divorced her. My friend is still very good friend with him, and he still lives in their house. However, it is pretty much over for them, despite that she is so nice about the whole thing.
Begging, pleading, and kneeing down will get you no where. The only hope would be that she sees the most of the guys are unworthy of her and perhaps that she can find, somewhere down in her heart, to learn to trust you again. So, keep being a friend at the mean time, but expect no more.
2007-06-25 16:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your answers in that question alone:
cheated = can not trust
disclosed = why do you hurt someone you love?
salvaged = yup your ship has sunk... I don't think you can get the same amount of trust back... you will have to always wonder if it would leak again.
Stay friends, but don't do the same thing twice. Have you been celibate all this time?
I don't need a good reasoning.
2007-06-25 16:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by dragonhathaway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask you what made you cheat in the first place, if she was such a great person and you loved her so much?
I never understand why people do this...I love him/her...but I cheated...now I regret it.
You need to think about what caused you to cheat in the first place and then tell her the reason why.
Talk to her heart to heart and let her know that you were a fool and that you would love another chance.
HONESTY my boy....wins over many obstacles every time!
GOOD LUCK AND BLESSINGS
2007-06-25 16:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be down on your knees begging her to forgive you! Trust is a hard thing to build and so easy to destroy. You'd have to work hard at proving to her for the rest of your life that you would never do that again, and if you can't promise that, she may be hesitant. Be very sure that you can handle a long distance relationship before making that commitment.
2007-06-25 16:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if a couple really loves each other and they take it slow, like starting over again they can make it work, the one that's hurt just has to have time (and that's different for everyone) to heal and forgive before they can move on. Once she sees that she's the only one you want her trust will strengthen, just keep doing what your doing.
2007-06-25 16:41:46 · answer #6 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i know how you feel. my ex did it to me and i forgave him (granted he did cheat on me like every weekend).
but i definately think that the trust can be re-established.
i stupidly cheated on my current partner when i was confused and my life was all over the place. he found out, he got really really upset, and we broke up (for all of about 2 hours).
you both need to discuss what happened, and vent your feelings. then it should be ok, if the relationship is strong enough to begin with.
however your problem is long term, it could be a lot harder. tell her how you feel.
2007-06-25 16:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, In my humble opinion...on an analogous time as that's difficult to stroll removed from this guy...i could if I have been on your shoes. how are you able to've a dating with a guy whom you do no longer believe? do you want to spend something of your lifestyles checking up on him? Following him? interpreting his digital mail? Checking his telephone? residing with lack of self belief around the mother of his newborn? this could be your lifestyles continuously and admittedly...that's no longer lots of a lifestyles in case you inquire from me. the guy has shown you thru his behaviors that he's not any longer undemanding and does not proportion the comparable values for a dating which you do. i could decrease him unfastened and enable him bypass returned to his ex. you could no longer make somebody love you the way you wish and need he could. See him for who he's no longer what you like he could be. certainty - He cheated different circumstances certainty - He has a newborn along with his ex certainty - he's no longer dedicated to you certainty - He does not proportion your values for a dating certainty - He does not love you certainty - He lies and maintains to lie. think of approximately those information and the alternative would be undemanding...painful yet in actual certainty staring properly suited at you. He has created a relatives along with his ex, a bond, an attachment, which will final continuously. the newborn merits to have the two mothers and fathers mutually in an intact living house. enable bypass of this guy....the dating sounds lifeless between the two one in all you. you will continually sense as in case you're competing for his interest and affections and that i doubt that his ex will ever enable him bypass. stumble on a guy worth of a while, interest, and affections.
2016-10-18 21:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by kelcey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not have a true relationship. You were not even married so there was no commitment to each other. You don't live in the same country so you don't know how many studs she is doing. It sounds like you are a stalker so you should just fall on your sword.
2007-06-25 16:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget it and
find someone in your own country. Distance and your previous situation tells me your just kidding yourself.You should go hunting for a new mate, and try and be more considerate next time. Good Luck!
2007-06-25 16:37:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋