How can I outwit a jerk?

Question

My cousin is dating this horrible guy - he is a conman literally. He's disloyal, deceitful, and untrustworthy. He's always trying to undermine me when I hang out with them - he makes rude, unnecessary comments & insults me on purpose. My question is, how can I can him back in a snappish and witty way?

Answer 1

You can't out con a con & you shouldn't even try to. What you CAN do is simply ASK them what they mean. No need to be nasty about it...just be matter-of-fact & don't let up until you get an answer that makes sense OR until he shows his mean & nasty side to the world BEFORE you have to go there first. He is playing a game of one-ups-man-ship & you have to throw him off his game in a manner that is not obvious to him or to the people around you. Just be "business-like" & ask him WHY he would say that, or WHAT does he mean by that, or WHO did he hear that from? Simply use the con game words that every one of them uses to confuse unsuspecting victims. WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY & HOW. Then you add a HOW to your questions & by that time they'll feel like they're about to be arrested by an undercover officer OR a fellow con artist (or the daughter of a con artist!). Listen to what they say & don't react to it, just keep asking them to explain themselves. If he's smart, he'll shut up. If he isn't, then at least you tried & hopefully everyone who could hear this jerk NOW knows what he's all about. He wants to drive you away from his rhelm so he can have total control of your cousin. If you have other family members, get them involved & start doing a lot of surprise visits & invitations to get this jerk out in the open for All to see how he is manipulating & demanding & just plain full of sh*t! You might want to have a background check run on his name & birth date to see if he has a record. Good luck.

Answer 2

bottom line,
you can't you will come across as the agressor and the enemy

be there to support your cousin when the bottom falls out, just do not let yourself get sucked into a spitting contest you will lose

you are dealing with someone who has made a life of lies, you can't compete,


if your cousin trusts you, then the conman will be dropped, if not, let them know you care, love and support them but you willnot be conned yourself and step away


time will prove you right, and do not, DO NOT judge them for the deception, be a loving support to them

Answer 3

It'd be best not to go head to head with him. Honestly, if you're relying on Yahoo! Answerers to give you the advice you need, there is a good chance he'll be able to keep coming back at you once you've run out of witty retort. You have to be Johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to that stuff, otherwise, it'll just end in more shame & embarrassment for you, and to top it off... you've stooped to his level.

Answer 4

Avoidance

Answer 5

Research, research, research! Find his weak spots. A good general feeds on his enemy's weaknesses. Bide your time. Be patient. Stay silent and observe everything! And practice your comebacks. Remember, a comeback doesnt have to be that funny, only fast! When he talks, listen, and when he exposes his soft underbelly, strike out with that poison tongue!

Answer 6

first thing you do is don't react to him at all ! by lashing out or getting upset you make him important. You get upset,he wins. when you are around him be polite but not friendly. let the other people in your group see just what an *** he is.I can tell you for sure if you out stand him and ignore him it will kill him. If your not in the game he has no one to play with.

Answer 7

I will answer your question as you ask it, How can you get back at him in a snappish and witty way?

I think that often times people insult and put others down because they are insecure and have to put others down to feel better. Therefore if you insult him and try to complete with him, this will only make him have to try to insult you more and this sounds like a losing battle as this is natural for him, this is what he knows, and you will be playing on his home turf if you get into an insult or rudeness contest.

So to get back at him is to make him play your game and put him in his place.

1. Comment on what you feel is true.
He is a jerk, comment on it. Talk about him as the "jerk" when he acts like it. When he starts, note it with things like "here we go again...", "the jerk ismaking his appearance" "IT's crawling out of it's hole" and then back off and don't say anything after that, let him run his mouth.

2. His being a jerk is not about you
This is something that you can tell yourself that is reality but will help you cope with his insults and keep your composure. He wants to make you mad, make you react and when he is doing this tell yourself that he is doing this because he is scared and he is weak. Don't argue or react to anything he says and if he asks you why aren't saying anything, say things like "I'm sorry, were you still talking? I stopped listening" and in reality when you get good at it you will.

3. His putting you down is about his insecurity.
When people say "don't hate", they are saying don't be jealous and puffing yourself up and this creates competition. Try taking yourself out of the equation and only focus on him. You can tell him "don't be afraid", "it's okay you don't have be scared", He will react to this and you just back off, make your comment and let him react, you then will be in control.

4. Be in control and comment on his lack on control
When you are with him, do not let him control you or make you react. Make your comment and then sit there and let him say what he needs to and make it obvious that he lacks the control to stop. Do things like start counting the times he is jerk or has to make a comment, perhaps with a pad an pencil with tally marks. I used to say things "It don't stop", "It can't stop" and put the comment out and then sit there and smile while I watch them go.

5. Use other people to show your superiority
He puts people down especially with an audience. Often people like this are tolerable one-on-one but with someone else there they have to put someone else down. Mention to others that he will react once you bait him. Show others the lack of control he has in not being able to stop being a jerk and how you can make him be a jerk. At that point, he has to stop to try maintain dominance as making him react in front of audience is a place of weakness.

In the end the game is not letting him get under your skin and being able to engage and disengage on your terms. This will drive him nuts with loss of control of people and the situation.

Answer 8

Just make sure you do not sink to his level and try to pick up on his lies and comment on them, this will put him in an awkward position. Alternatvly you could mention something positive about your cousin's ex-boyfriends if he says something relevent to them while you are together. This will shut him down. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Hello dear!

Well, when such situation exists, I usually fade away! Life is such that I would not contrast against such characters (of course except if I should assist my cousin to "wake up")

Answer 10

Have a good friend that your cousin don't know hit on her in front of him make him look like a real pus y.