Do you think it's right for your ex's to come to you and your new family's family gathering, such as thanksgiving day or Christmas or any other family get togethers? Do you get offended or welcome them?
2007-06-25 16:15:01 · 14 answers · asked by oliveoil 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No children. No standing relationship. If they are in love with you now, or trying to actively persue something with you now. What need is there to hold onto baggage? It is unhealthy and disrespectful. They should let go or be with that ex.
2007-06-25 16:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by Maria W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was young. I'm the youngest of 4. My family tries to get together at least once a month as all us kids have kids and it is hard to get together more often. Most of the time my mom and step mom are cooking together. There are no issues, and there don't need to be any.
My mom and step mom will even call each other to keep up with all the family stuff. If you are the parent in this situation, the best thing you can do for the kids is become friends with the ex. My family doesn't do separate holidays between the parents (only in-laws).
Here is something to strive for...Every x-mas eve my siblings spend with their in-laws. My in-laws are in Russia so x-mas eve has always been my wife, myself, my mom, step mom, and dad. Last year I moved out of state, but the x-mas eve dinner was going to proceed as normal with my dad/step mom/mom. We ended up making it back in town, but the dinner was already planned. As an adult with a child now, I really appreciate what my parents have done for me and my siblings. I'm sure it was a lot of work, and it didn't happen right away, but it is definitely worth it.
2007-06-26 14:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan_Hood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex's family is still my family. I divorced him, not them! And my ex and his live-in girl friend are also welcome in my home for gatherings and holidays if they choose to come. It was a huge issue with the man I dated for a few years- he thought I was nuts for inviting them and also a bit jealous that I might want my ex back. Not the case, but he really had a hard time with it.
I bit my tongue for a long time to keep a relationship with them for the sake of my kids. Now I again appreciate them for who they are and would make sure any future personal relationship I may have know that they are part of my package!
2007-06-25 23:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be offended. The spouse of the ex is the one that should talk to his or her family about it. I personally would not attend a function if this were the case. If I were dating someone and this happened and the problem could not be solved I would certainly not marry that person. This would only be the tip of the iceberg
2007-06-25 23:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea! I'm sure it would cause some uncomfortable feelings, and create an awkward situation altogether for some of the guests.
it's best to try and get along with ex's, but inviting them over for the holidays is probably not the best idea!
2007-06-25 23:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by atiana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents are divorced and both are remarride. But because my mom and dad have five kids together, it has always been important for them to stay civil. We still do birthdays together, and before the two of them got remarride we did holidays as well. I know for the sake of us kids it was the best-most mature thing they have ever done.
It helped when I became a mother. My babys father decided he no longer had romantic feelings for me. We have stayed friends, and extremely civil. I have gone to his home with the baby on holidays, as well as he has come and stayed at my place. We are both seeking different loves at this time, but we are doing it with the utmost respect for eachother, our son, and our love intrests.
I dont think its offensive as long as both parties are comfortable, and do it with class. If you are mature adults this shouldnt be a problem. (although when my son is old enough to stay with his dad alone, i probably wont be sitting in with his families thanksgiving turkey! lol)
2007-06-25 23:22:43 · answer #6 · answered by Brittany Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My younger brother's ex (girl friend for at least 4 yrs) still comes to visit my family on occasion. He was the maid of honor in my wedding, she was also there when I had both of my children. She is happily married now, but was a part of our daily lives for so long that we all still welcome her into our homes. His current girlfriend gets a little upset by it. But the ex just stops in, says "Hi, how is everyone?" gets her answer, lets everyone know she is great and leaves.
2007-06-25 23:26:34 · answer #7 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I have been on good terms with them as friends, then welcome it is. Some ex-es I deliberately do not want to see at all because they were really mean before we broke up e.g., calling me names for no reason and one tried to hit me.
2007-06-25 23:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by bronzedgal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't see why they wouldn't be welcome, if the relationship wasn't abusive and if the breakup was civil (didn't deteriorate into name-calling or anything). They are people you knew and thought well of in your past - you just decided that the romantic relationship was not working. Why not treat them as old friends?
2007-06-25 23:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are secure in your current relationship who cares? It should only be an issue if there's some hanky-panky suspected somewhere.
2007-06-25 23:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by rain4him *Stranger In Most Towns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋