he lets his family tell him what to do, (they hate me) I used to let them live with me too, they are moochers my boyfriend gives me $30 a week I provide lights, water, laundry, electricity, and food. He is an alcoholic and chain smoker, and when I ask him if he wants to marry me he blows me off. We have been together over 2 and a 1/2 years. He tells me he loves me but I am starting to even doubt that. Any advice?
2007-06-25 16:14:36 · 57 answers · asked by Jenny D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I keep thinking if I show him christian love he'll change
2007-06-25 17:07:35 · update #1
you are just a meal ticket.
move on
2007-06-25 16:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
See how many people have jumped on this question to tell you to LEAVE HIM? That should be answer in itself.
HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC - LEAVE HIM. More than likely he won't get help. Why do you want to marry an alcoholic man that takes total advantage of you? $30 doesn't pay for anything. He doesn't want to marry you, because he's already married to his alcohol. If you kicked him out, he would find someone as soon as he could to provide what you provide for him. I'm sorry, but you're enabling him. Send him to live with his parents. You've wasted enough time, 2 1/2yrs, on this jerk. I was married to an alcoholic. He beat me up and shot holes in the house. I left him. It was not worth it. He did NOT change either.
You really need to leave this man and get on with your life, because it goes by way too fast. Take care.
2007-06-25 16:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by photogal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to sit back and realize what you actually want do you want to be with him because you truly love him or are you just staying with him so your not alone. Once you can figure out what you want out of the relationship then you have to talk to him and find out what he wants then if you two both want the same thing you need to talk about both of your expectations for the relationship. You have to both reach a common understanding of what eachother is looking for it's pretty obvious for you. You want him to be more responsible and help more with the bills wich is not too much to ask in any relationship. But as far as his family goes sometimes no matter how good of a person you are some people just won't like you. And if you love him and he loves you he shouldnt care what his family thinks you should try to keep the peace with them but set some boundies in the ways they can affect your lives together. And let your boyfriend know that you love him very much and will try to help him in anyway that you can but you can't provide his family with the things that they want you to that finically you can't afford to
2007-06-25 16:32:26 · answer #3 · answered by ja438 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay well, His family doesn't like you. So why do you think they would agree to this marriage if you both agree. First, why would your boyfriend want to marry you if he has all he has right in front of him. You are like doing everything for him lights, water, laundry ,electricity, and food. Are you really going to be treated like this? Just don't regret what you decide, because in the future if you do something..then you will regret it. And believe me you don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to get married to you and is just using you for his needs.
Just be careful, don't be treated like this. Life is short, live it happy
Hope you make the right decision =)
2007-06-25 16:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd really like to know why you have been with him for over 2 1/2 years and know all his flaws, yet still want him to marry you. He isn't going to magically change if he puts a ring on your finger, and chances are you will end up supporting him and all his many bad habits for the rest of your life if you do marry. Find someone else who will at least treat you like a human being.
2007-06-25 16:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know in your heart exactly how he is. He is using you and you are his sugar mama. I know guys can be really good at sweet talking their way so that we forgive and forget them for not being the men they should be. Do remember that people cannot be changed (including him), they will only change if they themselves are motived to change. And speaking from personal experience, he has it too good right now to want anything to change. Please leave this guy now before you get to involved - would you want this man to raise your children one day? You have given him plenty enough chances to prove himself - you have been with him 2.5 years. You deserve to be treated like a queen, not have to wait on and pay for this guy to live a life of luxury. You are a strong woman, take control of your life and make a decision that is best for YOU. Good luck and schedule a girls night out. :) We don't need moochy men!!!
2007-06-25 16:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by babydoll32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god. you poor thing. this guy is a jerk and you ddeserve so much more than that. dont let him take advantage of you. basically, what you're saying is he gives you an allowance and you do his chores. you are not his child, you are his girl friend. and if he really did love you he wouldnt allow his family to tell you what to do. i know it may be hard to break up with him and im sure youve developed real feelings for him but you really need to leave him. this is only going to get worse. imagine having kids with this guy? he would make you do everything. good luck with everythinggggggg.
2007-06-26 05:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by shann. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he and his family are moochers.....you deserve better....so move on. You deserve to be happy, and have someone who will share expenses equally with you. Don't let family live with you....unless the parent is deathly ill, in this case things are different. But he does not love you...You need to find someone else.
2007-06-25 16:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you.He loves having sex and no commitment.He loves having you pay for everything and have sex with him, but he doesn't love you enough to marry you..You are his (in his eyes) a live in whore who supplies his every need.Why would he want to marry you when he has all he wants?You are right he IS using you.Now what are YOU going to do about/Beg him to love you change and marry you for the rest of your life?Or get some dignity and make the NEXT guy MARRY you before sex and living together?Your choice hon.
2007-06-25 16:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOu are 2 1/2 year too late. You let yourself be victimized on lies which you obviously knew long time ago but refused to acknowledge. Marriage is not forthcoming and you also know that, too.
2007-06-25 16:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask for advice on what you should do with a person that uses you then you deserved to be used. He says that he loves you but you should know its a lie. Being used and being loved does not mix together. How does this sound, Baby i treat you like sh*t and ignore your needs but i love you.
2007-06-25 16:20:35 · answer #11 · answered by Sammy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋