Is it acceptable in society to not want children?

Question

I am 27 years old and have been married for 8 years. We have decided not to have children, and recently I found out that I can't have children anyways. People always ask when we're going to have children (especially at family functions) and when I say we're not because I don't want children, people give me an odd look. So I've found it easier to say that I can't have children. Why can't I just be honest without people making me feel like a Cruella Deville? Why do people find to so odd that a woman doesn't want a child?

Answer 1

It is an honorable position to have, and it should be acceptable. It is your body, your life, and your responsibility, and it is your choice. When those people give you a strange look, it is a reflection of THEIR problems and hang-ups, not yours. I think what you are dealing with is a throwback to the days when a woman was supposed to be "barefoot and pregnant." Oh, and in the kitchen, too...

Be true to yourself.

Answer 2

Well no wonder you're getting the stare. You're talking to family members who probably are mothers and grandmothers. Frankly, it isn't anyones' business if you plan
to have children or not. You aren't obligated to discuss your
private affairs. We had an aunt and a step uncle in our family
who didn't have children. Many years into her marriage she
mentioned that they both wanted children, but it was her
husband who wasn't able to have them. But in knowing how
these people were, it's good that they didn't have children.
As they were always very critical of members of the family
and their children. And when we as a family would visit them,
my uncle by marriage would follow the kids around and tell
them not to chew gum on his carpet. And he'd ask us to open
our mouths to see if we had any. So anyway, they adopted
cats as their kids. And had alot of them over the years.
You might just say to whomever asks, 'we've decided not to
have children' and let it go at that. If they press further, they
will be extremely rude. You can always mention the world is
strange enough now for you to contend with, so you don't want
to subject offspring to the current affairs. And who can argue
with that statement these days?

Answer 3

Congratulations for admitting it. So many people are having them that do not want them and throw them in the nearest trash can are leave them on some ones door steps. Don't even worry about what society thinks. Society is so screwed up it ain't even thinking. Having children is a personal thing. I would suggest answering family members and Friends nicely. Just say you have found out you will not be able to birth children safely. If you and (are) your husband have nieces and nephews tell every body those are enough for you guys to enjoy. Eventually they will stop asking.

Answer 4

I can completely relate to you. I'm 23 years old, and when I mention that I don't want children, I always get that knowing look, and response of "you'll change your mind someday". No, I won't.

Unfortunately, deciding not to have children isn't really accepted by mainstream thinking. People assume that you either hate children, are selfish, or something is "wrong" with you.

I'm just careful who I tell, these days.

Answer 5

Because people are stupid.Look at the world,Its at war ,full of perverts and has barely has an ozone.People who continue to bring children into his setting are being selfish and presumptous.They cannot be sure that that child will even grow up.

Answer 6

I think it's acceptable to the person who chooses not to have children. But there will always be those of an older generation who cannot understand why someone does not want to have children.

Answer 7

I'm 34 and have been married for 10 years. We don't have a child, because sometimes we want, sometimes not. And family members always urge us to have a child and we always answer we are planing.

Answer 8

Society thinks everyone should have children. The bible says BE FRUITFUL and MULTIPLY, BUT, it doesnt say u cant get into heaven if you dont have children.. So if you dont want kids, dont. simple... Next time someone as you when ur going to have kids, tell them your happy the way u are. you dont owe them an explanation. Be happy.. smile... it always gets better...

Answer 9

Good on you.

Those people are dickheads and need to wake up!
Having children should not be taken lightly. It's an important job and if your not up for it or don't desire it.... end of story.
Be honest with people because keeping quiet teaches people nothing.

Answer 10

My daughter told me when she was about 7 years old that she never wanted to have children. She has been married for 10 years now and has never changed her mind.

I'd like to have grand kids but I would NEVER insult my daughters (feelings) decision by so much as mentioning the subject.

You just be yourself and to H*ll with the insensitive relatives and/or others who ask you that question.

Answer them: "It's up to God and so far He has said NO!!! That'll shut them up!!! Whose going to argue with God!!!

God bless you and your husband.