How to help a friend that suffers from domestic abuse?

Question

My Best Friend is in an abusive relationship. About two years ago she was very strong willed and wouldnt allow her ex boyfriends to tell her where to go and what to do and to tell her she couldnt hang out with her friends. She has a new boyfriend that she's been dating for almost two years now. He physically pushes her around and they fight every day. He wont allow her to work and wont allow her to go to school. He tells her if she leaves him that he will kill himself. He has children also that are not hers that she feels responsible for which is one reason she won't leave him. He will do things and then when they fight about those certain things ( things he has said she doesnt like) After being physically abusive towards her he then somehow can convince her that those certain things NEVER HAPPENED. I have witnessed this behavior going on and I don't know what to do to help her. She won't help herself and I feel that I'm the only one willing to step up adn say something.

All my friends are upset but no one will say anything or try to help. We can't do anything unless were present for a physical altercation. I don't want ot see her waste her life not going to college or working. Or worse... getting hurt. What can I do?

Answer 1

You have to convince her to help herself. If you report him to authorities, she may resent you. Try to sit her down and reason with her that the relationship she's in is very unhealthy for her, and she doesn't need to be in it. She deserves better and she has no duty or responsibility for him. It must be hard to see your best friend going through that. As a best friend, I think you should help her see what she's doing to herself, her future, and to you. Obviously this is making you very worried and she should know that. Not only is his abuse hurting her, but it's hurting all her friends as well. Tell her you only want what's best for her and that she has to realize she has to want it too. She's really lucky to have a friend like you.

Answer 2

All you can really do is be there for her. Do not let him drive you away. Isolation is an abusers best weapon.
Do not confront him on his actions. He will take it out on your friend.
If you see physical abuse in action, call the police. Your friend may get angry at you now, but if there comes a time that she calls the police on him, she will be thankful for the track record on him that you started.

Answer 3

Have you tried talking to her about it? If you haven't DO IT. you might want to also consider having an intervention with you and some other close friends of hers while the abusive one is not around. also consider taping some of this happening so you can show her her own behavior as well as his.

Answer 4

Tell her if she wants to live like that until "death do you part"go for it.She DESERVES what she gets if she won't leave.Look , not to sound unsypathetic, but MY taxes PAY for women's shelters, she has firends, she isn't happy she has a brain she is an adult, it's time for her to realize she can do what she wants.She needs to realize he is holding her hostage by threatening suicide and it won't stop there in the right situation.Tell her she can lie to herself, but if he means so much she cannot live without him, then chance are she won't be living at all one day by his hands.Again, if she is too STUPID to adult enough to get help and leave she DESERVES what he dishes out because she is VOLUNTEERING for it.

Answer 5

I think if anyone of you or your other friends have a boyfriend, he should go talk to him and set him straight. Or maybe your father, or something?

Answer 6

call the help line

Answer 7

1. Give them a handgun
2. ???
3. Profit!