My husband of 1 year (age 50) has in his top drawer a big glossy picture of his high school sweetheart and an envelope with more pictures of her. He also has a small portfolio of wedding pictures that have him, his ex-wife of 10 years ago, and family members in it. I know he really loved the high school gf, he detests his ex-wife. I am not jealous or even bothered by them, really. I just wonder, is it appropriate that he hang on to them now that he has remarried?
2007-06-25 14:24:44 · 25 answers · asked by Annie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I'm not insecure. I wrote that I am not bothered by them. I just wonder if it is appropriate to keep them, like in his top drawer. I have not saved anything from any past relationships myself. He can if he wants, just wondering about it!!
2007-06-25 14:37:13 · update #1
I think that its okay that he still HAS the photos.. however, I think that they should be PUT AWAY somewhere (like a shoebox up in the attic!) instead of in YOUR bedroom in the top drawer!! Not only is he keeping them COMPLETELY accessable.. but he's also keeping it in a place that YOU have to frequently be "reminded" of them!! Its pretty rude to do that to you!! He needs to be more concerned about YOUR feelings then HIS feelings for his old "flames!" After all.. you two are still NEWLYWEDS! He needs to have pictures of YOU in his top drawer!
OOOoo.. I have a good idea! Next time he's out of the house, get all those pictures and put them in a shoebox and stick them in the top of a closet or somewhere like that. REPLACE those photos with some of YOU (NUDE!!) Or at least in sexy lingere!! Dont say ANYTHING to him... he'll notice eventually! And he shouldnt get upset... he SHOULD get turned on!! But you should probably ALSO leave a note telling him that you simply put the other pictures AWAY (so he doesnt get mad thinking that you THREW them away!)
Just an idea! :)
2007-06-25 14:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have an issue then it's not inappropriate. If you have an issue with it, then argue the inappropriateness of it. If he didn't get rid of the photos of his high school sweetheart the first time he was married, why would he when you got married? Even keeping the pic's of his first wife that he detests, it was a part of his past, or maybe that was the only photos he has of some of the family members in them. Either way, if you don't care, why does it matter?
2007-06-25 21:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's part of his past, I don't think there is an issue with him keeping them. I regret throwing out pictures of proms and formals with ex-girlfriends. Not because I miss the girls but because it was a memory that I no longer have pictures of. It's nice to look back and see how young you looked or being able to think of other things that happened during that time.
I'm glad as you stated that you are not bothered by this, and at the same time I don't think there is anything inappropriate about it.
2007-06-25 23:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by Go Cats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for memories, I think it is appropriate. He can't erase them, and they are a part of his past. But I do believe that mayeb they belong in a box in the attic, or in an old scrapbook of his younger years. Not in his top drawer! There shouldn't be a reason as to of why he likes to be reminded of them-I am sure he opens that drawer often if it is something like a pajama or underwear drawer.
So I think it is fine for him to have them, but someplace with his other items that bring back memories, get what I mean?
2007-06-25 21:29:00 · answer #4 · answered by Happy. Finally. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fine that he keeps pictures from his past. It is part of who he is today. I still have all of my old photographs and I would never consider throwing them away. It reminds me of some great times, but this does not mean I hold on to the past or that I want to go back. Only make it an issue if he starts framing and hanging them.
2007-06-25 21:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure it is ok for him to have them....they are a part of his high school memories. I don't see any problem with it at all. I know that one of my husbands old gf's never married, because she loved my husband greatly. IF he had married her the first time, his life would have been so much different now, actually the 2 of us would have probably never met and gotten married. But it is ok for him to hold onto those memories.
2007-06-25 22:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are his properties and his old memories. He can do anything he wants with them. Everybody has his or her way of dealing with it. Especially at his age (50), he has seen a lot of life and begun to look back more. I know because I am at that age -- nostalgic about memories of the past.
I am still in my first and only marriage. I do have past girlfriends in my old and dusty album together with my very ancient pictures describing my umpteen years. I even told old stories to my 21 yr old daughter, even my girlfriends -- but not to my wife, guess I never offered and she never asked.
2007-06-25 22:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are part of his life. You can't get rid of his past just because you are with him now. Talk to him tell him that you understand that these pictures are part of his life. Maybe the 2 of you can find a place to store them that is not in your face but still allows him to keep them.
2007-06-25 23:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was part of his past, and he has a right to hold on to memories, you knew this before you married him. Now, if it bothers you, I'm sure he does not display them for you to view. What were you doing going through his drawer.
You should not be jealous of his past. Let it rest, or you will be miserable for no reason at all.
2007-06-25 21:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Emerald 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They're just pictures. I think if you make an issue of this you'll both end up feeling bad. Then he'll get rid of them to make you happy and resent you for it. And you'll regret it cause you'll know you made him feel bad for having them. He's had these for a very long time but he married you. Let it go.
2007-06-25 21:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by twobeinmd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋