Need advice on a awkward decision? Very confused on what to do.?

Question

My daughters friend , her sister and mom are suppose to being going on a trip with us. The problem is that she has not offered me any money as of today. Everything is being charged to me. The condo and the tickets. Her daughter told mine have fun on your trip. My daughter said "aren't you going" the reply "I don't know". I haven't heard from the mom and we are leaving in 11 days. What should I do? My kids say they don't want them to go anyway. Should I make up a lie and tell them that we are not going to go? I don't want there to be any bad feelings. I had to cancel their tickets , because I was so unsure of what they were doing and I would have been out all that money because you have to cancel 15 days prior to your arrival because it is non refundable.

Answer 1

Never invite other peoples children on a trip unless some expenses can be payed for or you don't care about the money. Tell them that for unfortunate reasons, you cannot afford them to go on the trip.

Answer 2

First, don't be confused. IT is clear from reading your problem that there was a gross lack of communication on everyone's part; and second, you took entirely too much responsibility in my opinion. That is buying tickets for the other family. That said, i would finish this event with the same amount of communication it appears the whole thing developed with. That is, I would say nothing about having to cancel the tickets until you were asked or that it was a problem. Such as them showing up at your house the day of departure with their packed bags in hand. At that point I would be honest and open and tell them that you cancelled their tickets becuase you had not heard from them and figured they were not going. Of course you would be very sorry for the miscommunication. But then again it wasn't just you who failed to communicate. It appears everyone owns that failure in this particular situation.

Best policy going forward that you will never regret looking back is, be honest, open, and kind with yourself and others.

Good luck. I hope you have fun on your trip with your daughters. We only have so much time here and this is no dress rehearsal!

Answer 3

It's very simple. Just call the mom and tell her that you and your family are going on the trip. Tell her that since she did not give you money or tried to contact you to verify that they where still going you had to cancel their ticket. Let her know that her daughter told your daughter they weren' t going. Be a honest person. There's nothing better than the truth.

Answer 4

Since you haven't heard back from her I would leave it alone. If she calls you just tell it like it is , just what you said above. She never got back to you, did not contribute or even ask to contribute any monies for the trip and since she did not reply back in a timely fashion you cancelled their tickets. You did the right thing. She leaves you hanging & that's wrong, plus your kids don't even want them to go so it works out perfectly. Never mind about hurting her feelings, she does'nt seem to care about yours, am I right or not? Go have a great time & to bad for her. Even the kid said she did'nt know if she was going. Too late now. Enjoy the vacation !!

Answer 5

Your a mother, a matured woman obviously....how can you not be upfront and straight with these people.

If they are so irresponsible and inconsiderate why would you even want to go on a holiday with them,let alone have friends like this!!!!

If you guys are still going ahead with the holiday, sit and plan EVERYTHING, the fares, accommodation any other expenses and split it all NOW not later.

Money causes problems for friendships when your not upfront and clear about what you can expect.

My advice to you is go with your kids/family and then you can actually have a holiday.You will never enjoy yourself when you know your paying for everything and going with unstable pple.
Good luck

Answer 6

your friend shouldnt allow u to foot the bill for it. she should have offered and by not doing so its just rude.
be honest with her. tell her u didnt hear from her so u assumed she wasnt going so u cancelled the tickets.
if she gets mad, she isnt a friend. a true friend wouldnt take advantage of a friend like that.
dont be upset or confused about your decision to cancel. you did the right thing. she should have given you her portion of the bill.
go with your kids and have a blast. dont think twice about your so called friend. she can take her own family on vacation.
have fun!!!!!!!! :)

Answer 7

i have a couple questions first. how did the invite happen? did you take it upon yourself to buy the tickets and pay for the condo? also, i don't understand why you, being a grown adult, haven't already called her and discussed the tickets, etc.
i feel like the mother was cowardly in not calling you and talking to you about the whole trip. as i also feel you were cowardly in not calling her to confirm, and discuss the financial part. you know what they say about assuming, right?

Answer 8

Are you serious?? How old are you? Ring the mother, confirm the plans straight up, make sure that they are aware you have paid for the trip out of your own pocket as a courtesy. I still cant believe you would have booked and paid for these things without consultation with the adult mother to start with and not your kids. If the mother has decided to forego the trip and not advised you in appropriate time you of course can expect her to reimburse you for their cost.
Your not a child here so stop acting like one- be a grown up.

Answer 9

This is a simple case of bad communication. Don't worry it happens to everyone. Hopefully, the second party will understand your predicament and have better planning next time. If they don't understand then you have to ask yourself "do I really want that kind of friend around?". So don't worry about it and just have fun on your trip. You deserve it.

Answer 10

Just tell them its probably better you have a family vacation and they could go on a short camping trip with you or something instead