My Father died today?

Question

He was my father. Though we lived far apart we were close because we were brothers of the salt. Sounds ridculous, but true.
We both joined the Royal Navy at 15, he in 1935, me in 1980. When he came to my passing out parade at H.M.S. Ganges, he could see the ghosts of all his old comrades where I could see a recreation lounge. But I understood. Sailors will only ever be understood by sailors. Same with soldiers or airmen.
He had a shitload of medals, not for anything outstanding, just because he was there.
Of all the stories he ever told, I can only bring one to mind. He was a bit of a singer, my dad, used to sing with a band. Bing Crosby sort of stuff.
As the second world war was finishing , in the Far East, he and his band did a concert for the the prisoners of Changi prison, in Singapore. So traumatised were these men that, after the concert, they went back inside the prison to sleep, seeking safety in a hellhole that was familiar.
How do I ever live up to that.
I love you Dad

I just felt the need to say something and didn't know where to say it. I'm stunned and truly humbled by the overwhelming response. I will endeavour to reply to you all personally over the next few days.
Thank you.
Best Regards
Taffd

It has just been pointed out to me that HMS Ganges was not open in 1980. This is absolutely correct. I actually joined the RN in 1970 and left in 1980. My apologies for mixing up the dates in my original post.
May I further add that I could not possibly choose a best answer here, you've all been so kind. I never expected any response and I am overwhelmed. Thank you all once again.

Answer 1

Oh, man.
Sorry.
Been there.
Chin up.
Go ahead and cry.

Answer 2

Taffd
I am so very sorry to read of your loss.....you must be feeling pretty damn well gutted right now.

I know exactly what you mean by just needing to say something...just over 6 yrs ago I lost my mother very suddenly and as I was the one who took the call I then had to ring my brother (who had lost his wife earlier that year), my uncle (who was my mother's only remaining sibling), and my sister and tell them the sad news. My sister, who had been having family probs and was also going through a divorce, collapsed, so I had to drive from West Yorkshire down to Somerset to fetch her as she was incapable of travelling by public transport. When we eventually arrived home and everyone else had gone to bed I couldn't sleep and felt exactly as you did...just the need to say something to someone, so I posted a message in a Yahoo club that I was in...I was inundated with messages of sympathy from around the world...it was truly humbling.

One of the guys in the club sent me this verse which we all found very comforting...it was even read out at my mother's service. I'm sending it to you in the hope that you may gain some comfort too...
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When somebody dies,
a cloud turns into an angel,
and flies up to tell God
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world,
and sings a silent prayer
that makes the rain cry.
People disappear,
but they never really go away.
The spirits up there put the sun to bed,
wake up grass,
and spin the earth in dizzy circles.
Sometimes you can see them
dancing in a cloud during the daytime
when they're supposed to be sleeping.
They paint the rainbows and
also the sunsets,
and make waves splash and tug at the tide.
They toss shooting stars,
and listen to wishes.
And when they sing wind- songs,
they whisper to us...
"Don't miss me too much.
The view is nice and I'm doing just fine."

Answer 3

Thank you for sharing that.
I lost my dad when I was 12 and it is only as I got older that I began to understand what it means to have a dad you can talk to and share things with.
I have been living away from home but now I am making an effort to spend more time with my son even though he is 30, because we never know when it is our time to go and I want to use this time to build up a better relationship.

All the best for the future.

Answer 4

That was a really nice thing (tribute) you wrote. Sounds like you and your dad had a certain understading-connection. It does hurt to lose a parent, I lost my dad when I was 9 (I'm 20 going on 21 now). Most people say it hurts less over time. I know for me, It dosn't hurt less, but it's not on my mind every single moment of the day. But when I do think about him,like when I look at the picture of us on my nightstand, I ball my eyes out. I miss him with all my heart, like I'm sure you do for your dad. And it's ok, it's ok to always feel that way when you think about him. It's your dad, no matter how old you are or get. PS, I bet your dad was really proud of you.

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. he sounds like he was a great person,but don't live in your dads shadow my friend. Go out and live a good life as a good person. You have a great career,make the most of it, life is soon over so enjoy your time here. Mourn your dad and remember him with a smile on your face. and if their is such a thing as afterlife he will be smiling too.

Answer 6

Ummm, no offence but HMS Ganges was used for training boy entrants from 1905 to 1976. How could your passing out parade be held in 1980?

Answer 7

My sympathies to you.

Sounds like he was quite a man and you knew him well.
During these times he will be missed, but the memories will last a lifetime. He left a legacy of himself and what he stood for. Follow in his footsteps and carry on the good work where he left off.
I'm sure your Dad was very proud of you!

God Bless

Answer 8

Wow,nothing I could write compares to some of the responses here.All I can say is I am sorry for your loss and that I do know how you feel.I lost my grandfather in 92 and he was more of a father to me than anyone.Thank you for sharing he was truly blessed to have such a wonderful son and you to have such a wonderful father.

Answer 9

What a wonderful eulogy. Thank you for sharing it with us, though I don't know why you chose to honor strangers this way, I am grateful you did. I loved my father, too. He is gone 5 years now, and my mother 15. They created us, nurtured us, shaped us and taught us. Would that I could be half the person they each were.
My deepest sympathies and condolences, dear son.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for you loss first of all. it sounds like both you and your dad are wonderful people. The only thing you really can do is live up to yourself, to show your dad who YOU are. It sounds corny and stupid but it will make him proud im sure. also, dont forget him. Remember your dad with picture and memories. I hope you never forget him.

Answer 11

hello there i am really sorry for your loss, there`s not much anybody can say at the moment its not gona make you feel anybetter and you probally dont feel like reading what people are writing to you . but you will always live up to youe father because you are is son and he would of been proud of you no matter what ... i lost my mum not that long ago so i know how you are feeling at this moment my heart goes out to you .