What do I do about a dance teacher who constantly points out the same students in class?

Question

I'm taking a dance class, and--I hate to toot my own horn--but I think I'm OK. I know I'm not the best, but I don't think I suck...

Well, there are a few REALLY talented students in my class, and the teacher's constantly pointing them out and saying how good they are and how gorgeous they look. CONSTANTLY! To the point of annoying. I have just recently started to worry about myself rather than compare myself to other people in the class, but it's so hard when I'm trying my best and don't get any credit. I hardly know the teacher, so I don't think it's my business to tell her that what she's doing is bothering me. What else should I do? Why are some dance teachers like this?

Thank you to all who have answered so far and thank you in advance to those who will answer in the future. I greatly appreciate your help. The teacher sometimes tells us what some people are doing incorrectly. In her defense, there are about 40 students in the class, so I understand that she can't critique every single person. She has corrected me a couple times while we do stretching exercises, but otherwise I don't get feedback. In general, she'd just say, "Only a few of you have it, but most of you don't." (3 guesses as to whom the "few" people are....) You guys are right; I would like to be "picked on" so to speak, because she told us the more she nit-picky she is with someone, the more potential she thinks the student has. I've been meaning to ask her after class what she thinks I need to work on, but I'm so scared she thinks I suck (which is why she makes no comments about me), and she'll tell me that. But I guess I'll never know unless I try...

Answer 1

The situation you're describing is very common and I definitely understand how it can get under your skin. However, from the bit that you describe, most of the problem seems to be with how you're interpreting the teacher's remarks. Readjusting how you perceive teachers' comments and make use of them is an important transition that all dedicated dance students must make at some point, and you already show some signs that you've started to make this adjustment. So I really hope that you'll be open to what I have to say in hopes that you'll advance even further.

Worrying about yourself is really the key, so I'm really glad that you've started to do that. But there is more you need to understand about this. For one, the positive comments that good, rigorous dance teachers tend to give are not for trying your best or for giving "credit." They are simply using the best dance students as models for you to follow because, in all likelihood, your teacher is not up there demonstrating the moves themselves.

There really are only two kinds of necessary feedback that a dance teacher should be giving: 1) "No, you need to do it more like THIS," and 2) "YES! You got it," or "YES! Look at how Jordan is doing it." Serious dance students are just as happy getting the first kind of feedback as the second, and sometimes even want that kind even more if they're determined to improve.

You didn't say whether you get any of the first kind of corrections or whether your teacher gives that kind to anyone. If your teacher gives them to some students but not to you, then it would be proper to ask the teacher after class about how they think you're doing in class. Unfortunately, I know a lot of tough, good teachers who don't bother giving corrections to students whom they consider to be unteachable (and that's why good students feel honored to get them). But showing that you ARE open to corrections can break them of this impression. If your teacher does not give corrections to anyone but only relies on pointing out the best moves of the best students, then you may need to find a new teacher, especially if you can't make use of such model examples to improve your own dancing and need more personal feedback. This kind of teaching gets more common at the upper levels because advanced students should have a better idea how to correct their own moves, but beginners need teachers who are more "hands-on."

You need to understand that learning dance technique is about instilling "muscle memory." If you learn a move incorrectly, it is much harder to unlearn. Therefore, it is not a good idea for teachers to reinforce any incorrect moves. This is why a good teacher should not cheer you on for just trying hard and saying "Good job!" (except at the end of class) as that could very well make you think you can stop struggling to find the right way. It's better for you to keep struggling than imprint improper technique into your body.

Meanwhile, you should also know that dedicated dance students would rather be in your place than be one of the star students. Unless you're already a professional with a paying dance job, it's not good to be the big fish in a small pond because all that praise does not help you to improve even further. Think about it: when worrying about yourself if the key, why would you want your class time to be wasted by just being a model for the other students' benefit? Whenever my daughter found herself in such a position, she knew it was time to move on to find training elsewhere. And by "move on," I mean that she has received training all over the U.S.

If those really talented students in your class are letting your teacher's praise get to their heads, then that is their problem. You are actually the lucky one to be in a class where the bar is raised higher than your current level of skill.

Answer 2

I don't think that it is right for a teacher to always point to the same people. Everyone has their strong points and I am sure that there are things that you are doing well too. I would talk to your teacher and ask her what she thinks that you need to work on and when you do this let her know that you have noticed that she is always pointing out the same students and that you'd like to know what they're doing that you're not. This might give you some real insight. I would also look at it as a challenge to become even better so that she does start pointing you out as being exceptionally good at something. There will always be someone that is better than you (no matter how good you are), but use that as a goal to bring you up instead of discourage you. Good luck with your dancing and enjoy it!

Answer 3

Always remember that just because the teacher is pointing to someone else as "the example" to follow, does not mean that you are doing it wrong. There's a good chance that these are people the teacher has worked with before, or already knows them and knows that they know the steps, and can do them well consistently. The goal of taking a class is to become good at the dance being taught, not to impress the teacher. In the long run, it doesn't really matter if the teacher is impressed or not, does it? Most important thing is don't let it get in they way of having fun dancing.

Answer 4

Some dance teachers, just like any other human beings, are not thinking too much about people's feelings.
Do you really need any credit or praise from her in order to progress? What you really need from her is her making sure you're doing things correctly. That's all that's required of her. The rest is a bonus. Apparently, you're not getting the bonus, but oh well. Your dancing is for you to enjoy, not for other people to approve of.
Well if you feel like talking it over with her, you might want to approach her after the class and ask her for feedback. Ask her "How do you think I'm doing? Your opinion would help me out a lot." Maybe it will cross her mind that she should comment on your performance too, during the class.

Answer 5

This is a hard question for me because I actually do have a 7 year old son and this forces me to look at myself and my fears and actually work out how rational they are! First of all, there is this assumption that men who take ballet are gay. Is that true? Probably not. Moreover, why is that scary? Would I fear that my son would be leaning in the h*m*sexual department if he wanted to take ballet? Hmm. No that's not entirely it. What I would fear is the possible teasing, the pain he might suffer down the road as the result of him being a dancer. But that's the future and I don't really know what the future holds, so why worry about it today. My fears would be unfounded. I guess my conclusion is yes, I would allow him to take ballet, and i would support him and be glad for him. Having a little boy really puts things in perspective. It seems like men have to deal with more stereotypes than women these days. How restricting!

Answer 6

It happens ALL the time, but I get kind of used to it. They tend to do that towards the really good students and the really not so good students. I'm 14, and I JUST started dancing with no training at all and I have difficulty doing turns, leaps, etc. so my teacher ALWAYS points it out and slows things down for me, which I hate, just because I like pushing myself and I learn pretty quickly. But, if it becomes a major problem and you just can't focus on YOU, then tell her. If not, just focus on yourself and your moves, and soon you'll be getting praised for you dancing :]

Answer 7

Yes, it can be annoying but it seems to be fairly common in dance classes.

I wouldn't worry too much about what others or doing or whether or not the teacher is paying enough attention to you.

Concentrate on yourself, focus on doing your best and in being in competition only against yourself and you will progress to the point that you will probably surprise that same teacher, someday.

:)

Answer 8

I dance at a pre professional dance company so I have guest teachers frequently. Last yr was my first yr dancing there so I wasn't used to this. One teacher who would come in from out of state always pointed me out saying how good or bad I was doing. I never appreciated this and I am always annoyed when he comes in. Just try to work your hardest and maybe you will be noticed in a positive light too :]

Answer 9

Just becuase they are not a great teacher does not mean you should let them get under your skin. Just know that the only thing that matters at the end of the day is that you worked to your full potential and outside vindication doesn't have to mean anything.

Answer 10

I honestly don't know but unfortunately I doubt the teacher is going to change. If you're not happy maybe there is another teacher at the studio you could take class from or another studio you could go to. good luck to you!