My boyfriend just went down on one knee a few nights ago and pulled out a ring...and I said yes!!!!
For the first night, I was soooo happy and content to be lying there in bed in his arms...but then I started thinking. I'm only twenty, and he's 21, and we don't really have stable jobs.
I live in a puny apartment across from him , and he wants to buy a house where we can live together. I don't know if we can afford that.
Then there's kids to deal with...no we don't have any yet but when we do...I'm just kind of feeling lost right now. Any encouraging words?
2007-06-25 13:11:50 · 16 answers · asked by sonder 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take your time. If it's the real thing, it will sustain the time it takes to get your acts together. Don't rush into it, especially if you have doubts. If it's meant to be, it'll be there when the conditions are better.
2007-06-25 13:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged at 20, married at 21. I'm still married (28 yrs old). It is scary, but you'll be fine. You're not too young. Just make sure this isn't "we've been going out for 6 months & getting married". It's natural to worry about where you'll live, will we have enough money & kids. But, you don't have to move into a house right away. Think of it this way, you both support yourselves now. We went thorugh rough times, both laid off at the same time & we made it through. Save your money & buy something you can afford later. It shouldn't matter that you live in a puny apt. That should be fine for 2. Wait to have kids, that way you don't have that hugh expense. Relax, everything will work out.
2007-06-25 20:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by pkbuddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of us start relationships with "starter" jobs and small apartments and lots of things that have to be done.
Now you can do them together. It's so much easier to deal with life's details when you've got someone helping you and giving you advice.
You are worried about the unknown...and we all get that way sometimes. Look back on your life. Have you been able to make decisions and take actions in your life? If the answer is yes, then you will be fine and will also make good decisions and take action in the future.
Enjoy the engagement and honeymoon period...it'll probably one of the more enjoyable times of your life and try not to get too stressed.
2007-06-25 21:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats! It is normal to have all of those feelings. However, there is nothing forcing you to be married soon. Take your time and stay engaged as long as it takes to feel like you are ready. You are both quite young, so there's no hurry. It is smart of you to think about being in a stable financial situation before you are married. It will save stress later after your wedding. Most couples fight about money, so it is responsible to be concerned about that. You are going through one of the most exciting and emotional times of your life, so of course you have some confused feelings. However, it will all work out. Cheers!
2007-06-25 20:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by I39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy being engaged. Keep the worry until the wedding is over-that is what marriage is for! :)
Just kidding. Tell your faincee what your worries are. You don't need to buy a house right away, nor have kids right away. You guys can live in the apartment, and enjoy the married life, until you feel ready to move onwards with your life.
Congratulations on your engagement, you should enjoy it and be happy!!!!
2007-06-25 20:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Happy. Finally. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he really right for you?, because if not you will end up paying a high price for a bad mistake now. I would be slowing things down aliitle until you sort yourself out, but until then keep seeing each other. If you do marry, it doesn't mean you have to have children straight away. You could start having them when your circumstances stabilise which could be 5 years down the track. Cheers and good luck.
2007-06-25 20:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest a long engagement. Maybe save money. Set a goal and say we will get married when we have this much money in savings, stable jobs, and can buy that house.
2007-06-25 20:31:59 · answer #7 · answered by xundefinedbeauty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, go for it. You both have your own apartments so when you get married you will be cutting costs. Children can come in time when you are ready for them. You are both young but if you set goals together you will be fine, as long as you both continue to work toward your goals.
2007-06-26 00:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
long engagement, live together first. Jus because u have a ring dosent mean u have to marry tomorrow. U have the rest of your lives a couple years is nothing. get he rest of your lives straight before u marry.
2007-06-25 20:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by cece715 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not from me, if you were my daughter I would tell you that you are too young to get married.
But you aren't my daughter so my only suggestion is to see an accountant to work out a budget so your soon to be husband can get a good dose of reality. Also, marital classes would be a good thought, your minister or priest can arrange it.
2007-06-25 20:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋