Can I move on?

Question

I am 36 and I got married to a 41 year old woman a year ago.She was a wonderful person when we first met(she still is),but embeded in her is this 'been there done that' attitude which is driving me nuts.She has four kids,the oldest being 28.I also have a two year old from a previous relationship.

My problem is,ever since I started working(day and night) my wife thinks I should give her all my paychek which I did not object to.But don't I have the right to know how each dime is spent? She gets upset if I ask.
I drive a truck at night and I drive part time in the day also.My theory is; if I die in an accident,she will just move on with her kids.Right?
We have been arguing over finances for a long time.
She also does not want to let go of her numerous male friends.She does not cook for the weekend,she does not cook when she comes back from work and she sometimes treat me like one of her kids.
This woman has been good to me. Can I stay or move on???

Answer 1

It is your right to know how the money you earn is spent. Marriage is a partnership. Something is wrong that she doesn't want you to have an interest in your own finances. I encourage my husband to have an interest in ours so if something happened to me (God forbid!) he could handle the finances on his own. And by the way, if she is 41 and her child is 28 that means she was 13 when she had the child!

Answer 2

Dear Ritchard A

This is a doozie of a question. First and foremost your kid did not ask to be here and it is your duty to see that she is looked after during your lifetime and if somthing is to happen after you die. This is not a mybe this is a must and a lifelong comitment. As for your lady her being older than you complicates things a little has she been married or shacked up with other guys before. What does her track record say? You did take vows and those are sacred but even in the bible there are grounds for devorce. God made you the man and as far as i can understan you are doing all the things a man does to provide for his family. It it time that you start acting like the head of your house and put on the pants. Sit her down and discuss these things that bother you and if possible go for counciling before you chuck the marriage. Try and make compromises for each other. Who knows she might just start respecting you once you act like the man of the house.

Answer 3

'This woman has been good to me'

It doesn't sound like she is being good to you.
You have both a right and a responsibility to know where your income is going.

If the two of you are unwilling to be open about finances, someone could be in very big trouble and not even know it (think huge credit card bills).

I dont think she should have to give up her friends, but the two of you need to sit out and discuss what you both want out of your marriage and what you both don't want. You are in pretty bad shape for just one year into it!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Exactly how has she been good to you? She's taking your money, has friends that you are not a part of, she doesn't cook for you and she treats you like a child. Do you mean she gives you sex when she's good and ready?

In any relationship if the good out weighs the bad, then stay. If its the other way around, then move on.

Answer 5

You have to communicate. That doesn't mean screaming at one another. You have to know each others feelings, wants and needs. That doesn't mean you will get everything but at least come to a compromise.
You definatly have the right to know where your money is going.

Answer 6

I think shes taking advantage on you...you should talk to her and explain that you have needs too and you also has kids needs your support..its not always about her u should talk to her more often til she understand if not its not too late yet dont make things that can make you regret forever in your life. Goodluck!

Answer 7

Well, have you talked to her about it? If not, I would try to. Maybe a marriage counselor, but that is just my own personal opinion.

I really hope things work out for you : /