Is there any reason that my husband should not want to me to track how much time he spends having his alone time as compared to mine. This has been an argument only because he always says I do stuff and always want to go do stuff. When I offer to track both his side and my side he is saying I am just playing games and shouldn't be so childish. Should it be equal - we have 3 kids - we both work but I work at home with the kids. I don't want anymore time than I am getting just tired of hearing him say I do soooo much when he does more. We do have time together as a couple with the kids and without the kids so that is not the issue.
2007-06-25 12:44:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeee !!!!
if that's all you have to worry about
GET A LIFE !
2007-06-25 12:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by seemeelater 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say let it go. Be supportive when he wants to go out and even encourage it. Your behavior will make him want to do the same for you. Try not to be so competitive. Be happy for each other. You can try having certain nights be yours and others his. This way you know when to expect your free time.
My best friend and her husband had this problem and she did end up tracking it. She also recorded who got the most sleep because she worked the graveyard shift and still had to care for the kids. She actually went as far as typing it up and printing it out. She left it for him to "review" before she left for work. Needless to say, it did not go over well. He felt like he was being monitored. Nobody wants to feel like they are living with a prison warden. By the way - he had much more free time/sleep time. I just don't think this was the best way to handle it.
2007-06-25 21:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of deflecting your husband complaints by defending yourself, how about getting the bottom of what's going on with him. Is something happening at work? Is he stressed or tired? You are his wife and his partner, its not a contest. He's right, you are playing games. Take a walk tonight with him, or just sit and have a glass of wine with him after the kids are in bed and apologize. Then ask what he thinks is going on to make him feel like this. Listen, don't interrupt.
Once you figure it out, you can address it and put things to right.
2007-06-25 19:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reality check, this is what married life is really like. studies show that most women do far more in regards to child rearing, housekeeping, spouse tending and working outside the home than their husband does.
he doesn't want you to track the time because if you sat down and counted all the hours in a day you cook, clean, pickup/drop off kids, bath kids, help them with homework and put them to bed, you'd have virtually no time to yourself. you can't shame him into doing more work so you can have more free time. he simply has no shame. it would have been nice to figure out who you were marrying before having 3 kids. good luck to you.
2007-06-25 19:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by t g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is exactly why i am convinced to have just one kid or none at all... kids are time-consuming, the mother always has to cook clean mend do laundry drive wash mop sweep mow dust cradle lull bathe et cetera..
i never forget to reserve some quality time for myself even after marriage! do u have the time for manicures facials watching your fave tv progs or simply napping? think again before having your next kid.
as for the husband's share- ask him to chip in only if you are also working and contributing to the household income.
if u r not able to chip in for paying the bills, then he is prob stressed out. leave him to rest on weekends.
gd luk!
2007-06-25 20:19:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not exactly a 50/50 joint venture. It's never a good idea of who does more or better. No different than asking your kids who is a better parent, mommy or daddy?
The solution calls for maturity on both sides.
2007-06-25 19:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to get technical and track it...maybe y'all should come up with a more organized system. My husband and I have a couple days where we know each of us will have our alone time...and we also have days where we know it's our day to be together, etc. I think you two should come to a compromise and not necessarily make it so militant.
2007-06-25 19:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by Taracita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are clearly in some kind of other world. How did this even occur to you??
It is silly, petty, argumentaive, pointless and puts you in a really really bad light.
I suggest you take your little spread sheet fold it up and never bring this up again.
2007-06-25 19:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thinks you have more time - you think he does. Does it really matter? It's so important to you to make your point that you'd go to that length? If it is, then go for it. My bet is, even if you track it, he won't believe it!
2007-06-25 19:54:19 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might as well head to divorce court if you are going to start keeping track of anything in your marriage......besides being petty and immature, it is stupid and will end with you being divorced, so if that is what you want to do, skip all the crap and go file for divorce .....
2007-06-25 19:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋