My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3 months and we are engaged, dad says I can do better?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together just over 3 months and about a month ago I was pregnant and suffered a painful miscarriage. We were not sure if were ready for a baby and were still deciding when it happened. My parents didnt want me to have it however his mum did. The thing is no matter what decision or outcome my fiance has stuck by me through out this whole situation and I love him so very much. In my past relationships I have been hurt emotionally and physically and now I have found someone who loves me for me and makes me so happy..i didnt think the world had people like him anymore. The dilemma I have is I have told my two best friends about the engangment however not my parents...I found out after the proposal that my parents wants me to date a doctor or a lawyer and think that I can do better than my fiance. I know they want what is best for me but I am happy however I dont want to disappoint my parents or lose my fiance...any advice?

Answer 1

"It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is to fall in love with a poor man".

My mother used to say this quote to me. But I still went and fell for a poor man! I would much rather be this poor man's wife than any of the well-to-do men I dated before him. He is my best friend, and I love him more than anyone. And my mother loves him to death, too! The REAL question is - will you two stand by each other no matter what happens?

If the answer is yes, and you love him, and he is GOOD to you, then you really can't do better. No matter what his vocation is.

Your parents don't want you to suffer - to struggle financially, especially. Marriage is hard work, and financial burdens increase the turmoil. Most marriages that end do so because of money conflicts. BUT! You don't have to let that be an issue in your marriage, especially if you keep an open communication about it. I'm just saying that your parents probably feel that they know what's best for you because they aren't blinded by love (and it is blissfully blinding) and they dont want you to have to struggle so hard. Provided it is the fact that he's not a doctor that concerns them.

Were I you, I would ask my parents exactly what they thought of him. Sometimes parents do see something we don't and are hesitant to bring it up, and project their concerns into other avenues (such as finances). If they voice all their concerns, and none of them surprise you about your fiance, then I would very respectfully tell them that you appreciate so much how they look out for you, and how they have always looked out for you - but that even though your fiance may not have the immediate means to provide for a luxurious lifestyle, you feel safer with him than with anyone else, and you feel protected and cherished. You know he will take care of you, and you want to take care of him. And you would love their blessing.

Help them to see him through your eyes. This will also help ease the hurt of losing you to marriage.

but girl - if you love this man and he really is the best thing for you, you don't let go. a good man is hard to find.

Answer 2

You need to slow down. You've known this guy only 3 months, yet you've already had time to start a sexual relationship, get pregnant, miscarry it, and are now mourning the loss.

You need to be a smart woman and evaluate this man objectively. How much do you really know about him? What are his prospects? Does he have a job? What kind of job? How much education does he have? Is he someone you could marry and have a satisfied and happy life? Trust me, the love will wear off fast if you have no money and have no prospects for money for the rest of your life.

If he is someone with ambition and is a hard worker and is good to you, then take the relationship more slowly and get to know each other better before deciding to become engaged. You do not want to make a mistake, because once you're married, it is pure hell to go through a divorce.

Answer 3

Well, of course your parents think you can do better. That's what parents do. If your fiance has toughed it out with you through this rough time, though, it's hard for me to see how you could do much better than that. You need to either tell your parents you're engaged or tell your very deserving fiance to take a hike because you don't value his love and support. Oh, and no matter what, you might want to look into birth control so you don't embarass your parents...

Answer 4

I think you oughtta broaden your horizens! So, you get pregnant the first time you had sex with him. Obviously UNPROTECTED. And the guy prolly felt obligated to marry you. It was IRRESPONSIBLE for the guy to have unprotected sex with you in the first place. How is this a responsible person? Oh, the sex is great, but he won't wear a condom. Get somebody new who can be RESPONISIBLE. This is prolly why your parents are so pissed off! You've got to know someone before you marry them - look at the divorce rate! 50%! And ,gee, you wonder why your parents are pissed. They KNOW this guy is going to let you down. They don't want you to get hurt by him. I wouldn't want my daughter to get hurt by an IRRESPONSIBLE S.O.B. that can't wear a condom. That's why alot of people are on welfare and W.I.C.! Cuz they can't have responsible sex! GET A GRIP , GO TO A GYNO, AND GET PUT ON BIRTH CONTROL FOR GOD'S SAKE!