when your your young and and know everything there is not too many problems to deal with, there is always time and the future is too far to see but what if your 55 and something from long keeps tugging at you heart strings. Of course there is no chance of a reunion or any thing like that she is happly married and has 2 grown children. I am married and have 2 grown children and a grand child. Really weird huh? the pain is real though. what to do .....
2007-06-25 12:16:33 · 12 answers · asked by lek 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I find it amusing that some would say that you need meds. It is obvious that they have never experienced a real, deep, true love like the one you are describing. Of course your life now is the more important of the two, but you have guilt/remorse issues that are lingering. I definately can relate. And it's not something that requires medication, it's simply that you have unresolved feelings. Not abnormal at all. It means you loved that person a lot. But...time has changed everything. So keep your memories and cherish them, grieve for what was lost, and continue to live your life now. Don't use the past as a measuring stick to your life now, time distorts the truth and makes the past seem better than it really was. Give to your wife the same love you have in your heart, don't hold back on her because of a memory. How great would it be if you suddenly woke up and found yourself loving your wife the same way as the woman in the past? You can have it if you want to...choice is yours.
2007-06-25 12:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People change and those thoughts and feelings are magnified from what you thought it was. You are very unhappy about something in your present life that keeps you stuck and you need to find out what that is? You miss the fun and excitement in a relationship and you are at a crossroad of not getting any younger and wanting to feel alive again with someone. You choose to think about a long lost love that in younger days made your stomach feel like you were on the greatest thrill ride of your life.First love always has that affect but unfortunately if she were the one that married you and spent half a lifetime in your life you may be looking back at your present wife remembering her this way. You are bored and having a midlife crisis! It happens to men all the time. You look in the mirror one morning and you see the age in the face staring back at you and you ask it "who the hell are you"? All of a sudden you say this is it! Hell NO I can't deal with this. You look around and think this is as good as it is ever going to get! Before you act on anything maybe you could go talk with a counselor. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-06-25 20:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You you really think you are thinking of this woman, or in reality, wishing for days when you were younger.
Most likely, this is a fantasy about that time in your life and has nothing to do with the real woman she is now. At midlife now, she reminds you of the way it felt when you first fell in love—so many years ago.
Mid life crisis issues? Feeling your age and wishing for those younger days?
She has changed and so have you over the years. Neither of you are those carefree kids anymore, but adults with lots of history and responsibilities.
Maybe you need to work on YOU. Don't look to this woman to make you happy and long for something that just doesn't exist, but work on yourself. Depression should not be ignored.
Seek some professional help. Speak with your MD about the depression issues.
2007-06-25 21:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do u know the relationship would have been a good one with this long ago love? its just a fantasy your having, life is what u make it, be happy with the one your with, the past is the past, u can't bring it back, its most likely a mid life crisis, where u look back and think that u could have been happier with someone else, but that's something u don't know for sure. its the past, a fantasy because your not for filled with your present life. we all get in ruts where we wish this or that, but theres no guarantee that life with that person would have been any different than the life u have now.
2007-06-25 20:07:28 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel, I don't think you can actually move on, loves like that stay with you forever. But it shouldn’t depress you, I know it's hard to see that time goes by and you still love that person more than anything, but it won’t do you well to dwell on it. You have to realize that you have your own life to live. You keep that love quiet in your heart where it belongs and try to live happy, after all not many people know what a love like that feels like, you should feel lucky to have loved like that in your lifetime.
Good luck!
2007-06-25 19:31:17 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes you dont realize how much you love someone until they stopped loving you.
but it is more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return
your heart breaks because your true love is with someone else?
How painful to know that the person you love is giving all their love time and devotion to someone else.
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else
Your life stops. you are devastated, and in many ways there is a feeling of hopelessness. Most of all, you are feeling life will never be the same.
http://www.psychicmargo.net
2007-06-26 01:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by bylovemagic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel terrible for your wife.
There's nothing you can do, except move the hell on. This other man/woman is a distant memory, and they may have already bit the dust. Focus on the family you have and love them.
Edit: I'm sorry thumbs up or not, it's the truth. What are you going to do, track her down and leave the family you've dedicated yourself to?!! Sometimes you need to stand up, get some counseling and patch yourself together.
People don't think.
2007-06-25 19:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lane 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have been holding the torch for my first REAL love for 30 years .You have to move on .
i was married to another woman and divorced 23 years later .I never loved her like I loved my First .
What I do is keep myself busy with other women .She has a husband and I would never go back with someone who could HURT me So BAD.
I never want to relive the pain that is how I keep myself afloat .
2007-06-25 19:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
After 40 years you need to get some perspective....or else you're going to be depressed until you die.
Get some much needed counseling so you can finally move on.
This woman isn't the same person she was 40 years ago....and neither are you.
2007-06-25 19:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand. The best way to get over her is for her to tell you that she will never get back with you.
2007-06-25 19:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋