Should I get my daughter a Wii even though she didn't get the "A" in English we agreed on?

Question

Note: I am asking on my son's profile.

At the end of the 3rd Quarter my daughter got a C+ in English. As a father, I wasn't too happy about this. But I was understanding, as it was still her first year of High School, and she went to a academically tough Catholic School. We talked about it (and I remember she wanted a Nintendo Wii). So I made a deal with her, get an A- or higher for English for the 4th quarter, and I'd buy her a Wii. So for the last quarter, she studied so hard. She re-read stories and books. She would even stay in her school uniform because she didn't want to waste "studying time." I'd even see her in her school uniform on Friday Nights reading a book for an upcoming test. She would even put time for studying on Saturdays and Sundays. After all this, she only got a B+. She was so sad, but her teacher told us she put the most effort out of anyone. And when I look at it a B+ at a Catholic School (91.7%) is an A- at a public school. So what should I do? Do you think I should get it for her? I think she deserves it, but would breaking the deal make me a bad father?

Answer 1

Well, think about it. Why did you put her up to getting an A-? Was it ONLY so that she could get a Wii, or was it because you wanted her to truly try her hardest.

If she really, and truly studied her buns off, I say get it for her. Heck, not just her, but you, too.. those things are fun.

Besides, here's the thing : If she slips up again, you can simply take it away from her. You can make it part of her grounding.

Come on, from what I can tell, your only pain comes from the niggling details. There's gotta be a point where it's good enough, and if you think she deserves it then she deserves it.

While I understand that she didn't exactly MAKE it, she was within striking distance. For instance, 19.9 is so close to 20.0 that you might as well just call it that.

If you're worried that this will make her lazy.. don't. Sooner or later, she'll realize that sometimes "almost" doesn't count for some situations. But you and I and everyone else here know that for the majority of things in life, almost is either as close as it's gonna get, or almost is good enough by itself.

I work with a lot of people who hold a really high striving for perfection. Here's the thing, they work really hard, and a lot of them HAVE accomplished what they set out to do. But you know what? They're all really lousy people. Even if they achieve something, they're never relaxed. They're always tensed, strained, and in constant anxiety. Two of them that I know have had nervous breakdowns.... at ages 22 and 23.

I used to be like this, too.. until I realized I was literally losing hair. I was 20 years old, and my hair was falling out. When I saw a dermatologist about it, he thought it was simply too much stress.... and after test-results came back, it turns out it was my poor diet coupled with not sleeping, with high stress.

The only thing that turned me around was my current girlfriend.... so I consider myself one of the lucky ones.

Basically, I'm saying this :
There's a certain degree of perfection that we should all strive for. However, even the purest gold still has impurities.

It's good that she hold herself up to her standard, but you don't want to turn her into an A-type monster, do you?

She has to learn some day, that most things are attainable, and some things aren't... and that things will be okay even if you're not perfect.

Besides, if she slips up later, just take the Wii away from her (just take away the video/power cords) if it becomes a problem.

Answer 2

As a father also the most important thing in life is the effort you give to achieve something, and yes sometimes you fall short. But the fact of the matter is you gave your best. The teacher stated she put out the most effort. What I would do is sit her down and explain yes although you did not make the A, I and and the teacher have seen the great effort you have put towards this and how hard you have worked towards achieving this goal, your hard work and effort has earned you this reward. Bad father no caring one yes, you are rewarding not the grade but the determination and effort that was put forth in the attempt to get that grade. You seen the difference, no you are teaching her that even if you fail but you tried your best that is commendable and that is all that can be expected

Answer 3

It definitely would not make you out to be a bad father, but I see where you would think that. What you have to do is EXPLAIN to her why you are giving it to her (tell her about the whole 91.7 thing being an A-)....and tell her how "when you work as hard as you did for something, in the end youll get what you desire". You have to make sure that she understands that she will not get everything she wants though, because that will make you a bad father. Dont just give her the wii as a surprise. Buy it, hide it, talk to her for a good half hour about the rights and wrongs of working hard in order to achieve something. Then express your gratitude as to how hard she worked by giving her the gift and watching her face light up with a smile. Good luck!

Answer 4

Perhaps you set the deal too high. I think you shouls discuss with her the fact that you could see the effort she put and how proud you are of her. Obviously her teacher saw the effort put and I think that she should be rewarded. It would be a shame to not recognise the effort as it may stop her from trying just as hard next time. I don't think you would be a bad father for breaking the deal when she has put everything she has into trying to reach the goal.

Answer 5

That wouldn't make you a bad father at all. If I was in your shoes, I would definitely get her a Nintendo Wii...Even if she didn't make the grade that you agreed on.

The most important thing is that she put forth the effort to do better. I'd be happy that she at least improved her grade from a C to a B.

Get her the Wii. When she looks back on it, she'll appreciate it and know what hard work can earn her.

Answer 6

This upcoming school year im enering high school and say i was you and my kid did that i would becuz i mean high school is tough thats when its serious and i truthfully think u should cuz that grade in the school im going to is an a ... so just ask her to do even better next school year becuz u believe in her and just ... cuz the wii is an addicting game give her sum limits on the upcoming school year but in short i believe you should get her the wii

Answer 7

It seems like the purpose of your deal was to get your daughter to work hard in school and take it seriously. She did that. You saw her working, you saw her trying. If you do decide to buy her the Wii I would recommend telling her you appreciate her hard work, and site what you've seen from her. That way she feels like she's accomplished something, and is more likely to continue doing well in her studies.

Answer 8

Yeah believe me in middle school I got A's in almost every subject when I got to high school my average was C that's because the work load at high school. You know what you should say I will give you this (the wii) now but because I know it is a hard transition overall to high school but since you are going to your second year and your adjustment period is over I expect a grade improvement next year.

Answer 9

Breaking the deal won't make you a bad father it will let her know she can get away with it.Buy her the wii but don't let her play it until she improves her grade. If it's right in front of her,she can see it,she can feel it, but she can't play it, she will try that much harder. And she knows you mean business, But don't open it and keep your receipt.

Answer 10

I think you should get her the Wii. 91% isnt that easy to get and like you said she put a lot of effort into studying. What more can u ask for? I think she deserves it.