Should I get my daughter a Wii even though she didn't get the "A" in English we agreed on?

Question

Note: I am asking on my son's profile.

At the end of the 3rd Quarter my daughter got a C+ in English. As a father, I wasn't too happy about this. But I was understanding, as it was still her first year of High School, and she went to a academically tough Catholic School. We talked about it (and I remember she wanted a Nintendo Wii). So I made a deal with her, get an A- or higher for English for the 4th quarter, and I'd buy her a Wii. So for the last quarter, she studied so hard. She re-read stories and books. She would even stay in her school uniform because she didn't want to waste "studying time." I'd even see her in her school uniform on Friday Nights reading a book for an upcoming test. She would even put time for studying on Saturdays and Sundays. After all this, she only got a B+. She was so sad, but her teacher told us she put the most effort out of anyone. And when I look at it a B+ at a Catholic School (91.7%) is an A- at a public school. So what should I do? Do you think I should get it for her? I think she deserves it, but would breaking the deal make me a bad father?

Answer 1

If your child didn't make the mark don't get them the gift!!!! You'll teach them that it's ok not to fulfill their end of the bargain, and still get what they want. Make them earn it, try another bargain.

Answer 2

This is why agreements like that must be spelled out from the beginning in a "contract" of sorts.

Technically speaking, she did NOT make the grade and therefore she should not get the gift.

However, what I would suggest is:
Splitting the cost with her - Be firm and serious about a "50/50" split in the cost. Make sure she understands that the "new" offer is due to the effort she put into her studies. (Yes, she did put in the effort. But No, she did not technically make the grade.)
If the game is that important to her, she will likely be willing to put in some of her own money. (Assuming she has the money or can work it off over the summer.)
When next year rolls along - there is nothing stopping you from giving her a reimbursement, assuming she keeps her grades up, of course.

Just a thought. Maybe it will help. Good luck!

Answer 3

When I see a person refuse to give a child sweets as punishment then later on give out sweets I think to myself that child has not learn a lesson and will not believe the adult when they say they will not give them something.

I think its great that your child has been working hard and sometimes there are exceptions to things like seond chances.It would not be so wrong if you do decide to give your daughter the game.But make it very clear why you decided to do so and maybe if she still doesnt pull up her grade the next go around take back the game and tell her she can get it when she makes a B and stick to that.Or instead of getting the Wii game getting something smaller like a handheld game(or small amount of money.) and tell her that you felt like she deserved something for her hard work but not yet the Wii because you two both made a deal and she has to learn life isn't always easy that you must really work hard and even though she didnt make the grade that you see she has been trying and is improving and you are proud of her.Regardless it would not make you a bad father.Either give her the game and make it known you will take it back if she doesn't make the grade next time(and don't go back on your word) or give her something else(like the video game to a Wii and if her grades improves she can get the Wii to play the game.lol).

Answer 4

If that was the deal, I think you should get it for her. It sounds like she really worked hard to improve her grades, and that is exactly the type of behavior that you want to reinforce. Perhaps, as a compromise, you could have her buy all her own games or you could have her throw in some money of her own, that way it ins't a totally free ride since she didn't quite hit the mark, although it certainly sounds as though she did. 92% being a B sounds like an awfully tough curve. I do see your dillema, but it's not like you're getting her a $250 game system for nothing. Sometimes grades like that are out of your hands. I know more than a few times I've shot B's on a test even though I knew the material forwards and backwards. Regardless, it sounds like the kid worker her tail off, and you should definitely encourage that, however you feel fit. Ultimately, it's your call, but it doesn't have to be one way or the other.

Answer 5

I guess you need to keep the deal between you and your daughter. Yeah, she deserves receiving a reward but not the Wii you promised since she didn't able to reach the grade you are asking her.
If you would be breaking your deal, next time that you two have deals she may try to think that you will give in since she put "effort" on the deal, you know what I mean...
It would be best to rewards her less than the Wii, any reward will do just to let her know that she did a great job!

Answer 6

First of all, it sounds like your daughter worked hard and did her very best...bravo to her and to you for being a responsible and motivating parent! I do not recommend offering the Wii. Your word, and credibility, are more valuable to your daughter's growth and learning process than the Wii will be at this point. However, I would love to see you honor her hard work by rewarding her with something else...perhaps a lesser valued gift certificate to a store she loves, a special night out to celebrate her hard work and dedication by taking her and a friend or two out to dinner and a movie, etc. This time, she may not have reached the goal, but she reached a milestone, so some kind of recognition would be lovely.

Remember that teens at her age are at the paramount stage of character development. She will respect you for honoring your word, and adore you for finding another way to recognize her special accomplishment that came so close to the goal. Tell her the offer still stands, and when she gets her next A in the course, the Wii will be hers! :)

Answer 7

Hi, I think you should but, I think next time instead of putting a letter grade in your expectations that you should tell her that if she makes a GREAT improvement and tried really hard and the teachers can atest to it,,,,instead of saying an A... This way, you can decide whether or not enough effort was put fourth and it wont look like you are going back on your deal with her.....

She really seems like a good kid and she worked really really hard and I def thing she deserves it but make sure you tell her that even though you said an A that she demonstrated such determination that you feel she deserves it!!

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 8

Yes, private schools are harder than public. She may have earned the grade for a public school, but she's getting higher quality from private.Tell her that she has only now earned a percentage of the "Wii", and further grade improvements will earn her the entertainment machine. You have to stick to your agreement, but there's no reason not to compromise.
However, she seems like a good child. Have you tried to help her study? Perhaps you can help her understand more on a certain problem, reading, essay, etc. work with her, and then see how it goes next grading period.
And hey, adults like wii too! make it something you all can do together. Active parents are what our children need.

Answer 9

Honestly, I think bribing your kids to get good grades is the worst form of parenting that has come to be.

When your children go into college, they will not be young and be able to go to dad who will bribe them with a video game system or money. She needs to learn that recieving excellent grades is not for a Wii which will not be the "hottest thing" next year, it is for HERSELF, NOT EVEN FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

I think that you're simply a flexible person who is being taken advantage of here. So what if it's a tough Catholic school? Other kids get fabulous grades at the toughest high schools (not only Catholic) in AMERICA. Encourage her to do better. If she got a B+/A+, she has some work to do. Let her do it, and then give her the Wii [which is a bad idea, but IF YOU MUST, go ahead.]

However, giving it to her and breaking the deal will not be beneficial for her or you because that will set her standards lower. Soon, she'll be achieving with a C- or C, and will think that you will break the rules and give it to her because she supposedly tried. And, with your standards lowered as a result of breaking the deal, you'll start giving her gifts for getting Ds and Fs.

I don't understand the bribery method. I don't get paid by my parents for getting a 98.31 average. I think that you're falling into the new fad that teens have come to instill into their parents' thinking of education. Remember, gradually, get rid of the bad habit of giving your daughter or son gifts for doing well. They won't have that in college, and it's only doing badly for your kids.

Answer 10

WHAT?! not buying it makes U an idiot !
she deserves it ? HELL YEAH ! how many idiots don't study or just don't give a f**k about school but have consoles , cool cell-phones and other stuff. The only think U should be afraid is breaking the deal again , or the "deal" part looses sense (by the way , A- or higher ? I think that's too much.)

Answer 11

No. Everyone's sad on this, but she simply didn't make the grade. You will be teaching her something . . . not that you are a kind hearted father, but that she can be rewarded for less than the agreement held. Find another reward for her efforts and her otherwise fine achievement, but not the Wii. Save that reward until she has actually met the criteria. (P.S. Think of the fun you both will have with the Wii, once she has earned it! And remember, the harder one works for something the more it is appreciated.)