do alcoholics ever sort themselves out?

Question

my husband and i split recently after a pretty nasty incident. I have seen him since and he says he has sorted himself out and that it has taken something like this for him to realise what he was doing. Up until I saw him today (for the first time in a month) i was dead set on a divorce. But today he seemed like he was really sorry for what he has done and i now have mixed emotions. He has promised me so many times before that he will sort himself out but it's never happened . Will things be different now? We have been apart for a month- the first time apart in 7 years. Do people with drink problems ever sort themselves out really?

Answer 1

Yes they do. However if he is doing it for you he is on a slippery slope if he is doing it for himself he has a much better chance.
Typically each person has their own bottom (like hit the bottom).
The road to recovery is very difficult and requires a huge commitment by him & you.
It is best if you both get help. AA has a good rep. He can attend AA for recovery & you can attend AA for co-depends. Educatoion about that disease is very important. Good luck

Answer 2

The first step is that he admits he has a problem, as he can't alter anything until he does that. Alcoholics can change but they need support and time, just like any addict would. If he has promised before then he must realise he has a problem, but alot of people who have drink problems think they can hide it. Best thing to do is take each day at a time and dont take him back unless you are 100% certain it is the right thing for you both.

Good luck

Answer 3

"There is a high rate of recovery among alcoholics and addicts, treated and untreated. According to one estimate, heroin addicts break the habit in an average of 11 years. Another estimate is that at least 50% of alcoholics eventually free themselves although only 10% are ever treated. One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics was interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said health problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as "Things were building up" or "I was sick and tired of it." Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution.
Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction -- Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, October 1995.

Answer 4

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. All alcoholics can do is try to create strategies to help themselves stay sober. I have heard my mother say those words several times and each time I was let down. It ruined her marriage, her career and her relationship with her children. You have to remember that it is a disease. Your husband needs to seek treatment. He needs to learn how to cope but without the right medical treatment he will continue to lie in order for him to get his way. There are times when people change because of life altering events, like with what is happening with you and him. When people separate it can put life in a whole different perspective but the odds that he has changed are very slim. If you want it to work and you are going to be there for him 100%, you need to get him some help. It will be hard and it will take a lot of time but you have to really love him to get it done. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Yes people do sort themselfs out ! But not in a month!! I think maybe your husband is just scared of where he is now and might be willing to try anything to get back in the house. I might sugest he attend A.A and get some counceling. If you are both strong you will get through it. But it has to start with him and his drinking. He has to do it for himself!!! If he tries to do it for you it will not work . I wish you the best..

Answer 6

Some do some dont i know from experience as i am an alcoholic and i have sorted myself out in that i have been clean and sober 5 years now

Hard to say but i understand your trepidation girl been there if you need to talk you can message me

Answer 7

My mum has been an alcoholic for many many years and it has spiralled totally out of control so i would say that if the person is strong willed and WANTS to stop then yes but if they are too far gone and give up easily it will never work for them.

Answer 8

Yes they do, but not really as often as people would hope. If he is getting help, going to AA, and other things like that, I would give more creedance to his resolve.

You can get help figuring this out by going to Al-Anon online, which is a group that supports families of those with drinking issues.

Good luck, take it slow, and listen to your own gut more than his hopes. He may do very well, but he may think it's easier than it really is.

Answer 9

My husband is an alcoholic and has 23 months clean. I know EXCALTY what you are feeling. I can only give you advice...get YOURSELF into Al-Anon!! Until you understand that this is a disease and no longer a choice you will be able to make better choices for yourself and your marriage. I have gone through 7 relapses in 4 years with my husband. Is it hard? Hell ya. Will he ever stop for good? That is up to him alone. Will you be ok? Yes, as soon as you get in Al-Anon.

Answer 10

Yes they do. However the best thing is is going to counseling or some sort of therapy to make sure it doesn't happen again. Go to Al-anon if you can. And have him go to AA. At least get in to counseling of some sort. This is a dangerous disease and hurts so many people. My heart goes out to you. God bless you. Things will get better but it is TREMENDOUS work.