part 2 of my story ps long?

Question

Chapter 2
“The Great Fire”

His eyes were blank for a time after what he just saw, standing like a statue with a blank mind. “I’m going crazy” he murmured to himself.
“Dude what’s up with you” Cliff said smiling as it was a joke. “Come on, we’re gonna be late” Cliff said shoving him. Jason and Cliff kept walking; acting like nothing happened.
“Hey idiots! Come over here, I wanna talk!” Gary, a local bully and idiot, yelled at them, running. Jason kept quiet while Cliff yelled back,
“Come on, you want to fight us!” Cliff yelled. That was a mistake for yelling that, because Gary landed a huge punch on Cliff. He kept beating him while on the ground, while Jason watched.
“Leave him alone!” Jason yelled, he then tackled him kicking and punching. Jason was later defeated but Cliff got from behind and both friends started to double team him, winning the fight.
“That’s right! Cry you little *****!” yelled Cliff in triumph.
“Come on, let’s get to class”, said Jason. It was a normal day in school, the boys were bragging about winning the fight. “I heard you beat up Gary real good” said Mandy, Jason’s crush. Jason liked the attention from Mandy, he loved it.
“I guess, that fight was hard” Jason replied. Mandy was a cheerleader, complete opposite of Jason’s clique, as he was a “weirdo”. Cliques were important in high school, so Jason was confused of why she was taking to him.
“It’s surprising how a guy like you can beat him up, cause, you know he’s really big” she smiled. Cliff must have told the entire world because everyone was congratulating him. Sam on the other hand had an angry face and seemed jealous from the attention Jason was getting.
“You think you’re on the top of the world now, huh?” he said to Jason. Jason just gave a smirk at the amusement of Sam’s envy. He left without a fuss to class. Well, Jason was in class, ignoring as usual, when he remembered the shadow in the alleyway. The way it had piercing red eyes yet in other seconds their were white. He could see the man in the corner of his eyes, in the windows, corner of the rooms, and on the ceiling.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” he asked. The teacher agreed, so Jason was walking alone in the hallway. The school looked bigger without the large crowd. He kept feeling paranoid, like something was following him again. He washed his face to clear his mind but it was anything but clear. He noticed gasoline tanks in the janitor’s, “why the hell is that there?” he asked himself. He kept walking and it seemed like a second before he found himself in his classroom, “that was fast, must’ve blacked out” he joked.
He smelled smoke a couple of minutes after getting in the room.
“Fire!” someone yelled. The alarm ringed as hard as a rock, everyone ran out of the room yelling. As Jason was running, he heard a dark whisper that said “having fun”.
“Help! The doors are locked!” a teacher yelled. Jason couldn’t help; he had to think of himself right now. Everyone in the school were crying and running and yelling. Jason finally got out and witnessed a giant explosion at the top of school, fire and glass lashing out. The smoke was still in his lungs, turning them black, like he smoked a thousand cigarettes at one time. He looked across the field and saw the man smoking a long cigarette.
They stared at each other for a while; Jason felt a chill down his spine the whole time. Even though there was no shade you couldn’t see his face, his trench coat, round hat, shades, and smoke from the cigarette covered his face. You can still feel like he was smiling at the torture you were getting. He walked away into the street until he was gone, just seeing him made Jason freeze up. Later he saw Cliff being carried away to an ambulance truck, burned and past out.
Even though the fire burned, Jason felt so cold

Answer 1

Great descriptions but you need a little editing. Do you have a teacher o you can share it with. Keep writing this is a good start!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Interesting. But sort of confusing.