I talked with my ex wife today.She says she forgave me along time ago .She lost trust in me,accused me of having and emotional affair two years ago.I didn't want a divorce,she took it to far and i begged her to go to counseling with me.She says she forgives me but can never forget.If she really forgave me then why divorce.Is this just a play on words.
2007-06-25 10:51:41 · 9 answers · asked by Rodger M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe thats what she needed and wanted in order to get through....It's amazing how she accused you with no proof and would decline seeking help to save the marriage....She may have used this as an excuse to get a divorce....It's easy to forgive someone when they actually don't need to be forgiven.....I hope you found the peace to move on....
2007-06-25 10:57:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is possible she does. Maybe she got the divorce because it served as a reminder of the events that she perceived as wrong, and she just felt mad enough to get one or just felt it was the only way to forgive you- by moving on.
I don't understand. Why should she have to forgive you if you didn't cheat emotionally? Does she still believe you had an emotional affair? I think it is possible you could have been doing something that she percieved as threatening to the marriage that you didn't seem to think was and she had silent expectations or rules that you were supposed to follow, or maybe there is something else that has been going on with her, especially since she didn't go to counseling with you to even try to work things out (with what I've seen and studied, usually it is the man who does not want to go to counseling). She also may be very mad at you for other unknown reasons and using that as an excuse but not telling you the real reason for the lack of trust or abandonment. Have you asked her specifically what it was that caused her to believe that you were having an emotional affair and the events that led up to this? It is still possible that the two of you can patch things together years down the road, provided you and she don't remarry, or otherwise you can take this as a way to learn that you and your next spouse should take a real heart to heart conversation about what your expectations are and what she perceives as cheating before remarriage to avoid more events like these in the future.
2007-06-26 03:42:10 · answer #2 · answered by deva s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds just like me and my ex I have mostly forgiven him of all the hell he has put me and the kids through. But when it comes down to a general rule of MOST women, we have the ability to forgive but, just like elephants we NEVER forget. I can go back 11yrs in my marriage and tell you word for word every argument, fight, lie and issue of mistrust he ever did to me. And it was EVERYDAY! I'm divorcing mine because I can't forget and that I would spend the rest of my life still hurting over it and I knew I would punish him for the rest of his life for it all. Just keep in mind that in your next relationship not to repeat the past. Everyone thinks that divorce means that the person doesn't care or still have love for their spouse. That's not true in my case..it was a HORRIBLE marriage and yet there is still a part of me that still loves him. I just know he will never be right for me.
2007-06-25 18:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by Destiny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she accused you of nothing you ever did or thought.
She was looking for a reason for her to go on with her own emotional and/physical adventure with another man.
She wants to help you feel better about it all, therefore she says she has forgiven you. What she means is that she has forgiven herself for two-timing and making you feel it was your fault.
2007-06-25 23:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by franj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like she cant forgive completely. SHe needs to think of what she is saying.
2007-06-25 17:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by humble servant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nah. what she probably means is she is tired of fighting over it and wants to let it go. and if she does forgive she'll never forget and itll always be in the back of her mind, so she cant stay..
2007-06-25 17:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive does not mean forget or get back together.
She's probably forgiven you so that she can move on with her life.....smart woman.
2007-06-25 17:54:39 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women never forgive, they get revenge.
2007-06-25 18:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you to forgive is easy, but to forget not. i tell you from my own experience.
2007-06-25 17:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by anismith62 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋