I just had my second miscarriage.?

Question

So, I have been on here, asking all kinds of questions, and getting some great and some not so great answers, about my pregnancy. Well, friday night I started to spot...and then it stopped. At about 12 saturday morning I woke up in a horrific amount of pain, and having been through a miscarriage before, (last year, in may), I knew what was happening. Even though I knew the ER was probably not going to do anything for me, I went anyways...just to be sure. They confirmed my fears and told me to go home and do nothing but relax. I didnt need a D & C, they said I would just bleed it out. I am now really concerned and upset. This is my second miscarriage since January of 06 and I dont know how much more of this I can take. I think my body hates me and maybe is trying to tell me something. I am so used to helping other people when they are upset or struggling with something, but even though I have been through this before...I cant help myself!

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your losses.

I lost five pregnancies, and I remember the feelings -- most of which defy words -- that go along with it, including the feeling that my body was somehow betraying me.

I don't know how far along you were when you miscarried this past weekend, nor how far along you were when you miscarried last May. So some of the things I say may be off target.

It used to be the case that doctors would not conduct testing unless and until a woman had three consecutive miscarriages. Fortunately, that's no longer true, and most doctors will conduct tests if you've had two consecutive losses.

Miscarriage -- an awful, awful thing for anyone to go through -- is, unfortunately, also extremely common. If you didn't know that when you miscarried last May, you were probably told so at the time (*not* that it makes things better, and I'm *not* saying this to in any way diminish what you're going through). Working on the assumption that your miscarriages happened during the first trimester, it's actually very possible that you've had some unbelievably lousy luck, but that, at bottom, that's what it was -- basically a horrible coincidence but not a symptom of an underlying problem. However, it is also possible that there is a problem -- including a problem that can be identified and addressed.

Basic testing for recurrent loss includes bloodwork for autoimmune and clotting issues, and some even more basic testing for progesterone levels and other hormones, thyroid, etc. I urge you to talk with a doctor -- either your OB/GYN or a fertility specialist (usually, a reproductive endocrinologist) who has experience with recurrent loss -- and get testing done. You may find you have low progesterone, which some REs treat with progesterone supplementation directly and others treat with clomiphene citrate (Clomid), the latter on the theory that low progesterone is not a problem itself but a symptom of a "weak" ovulation. You may find your body has certain antibodies or clotting issues which are very common and which, depending on the issue(s), are routinely treated with baby aspirin or injectable blood thinners (pregnancy puts your body in a hypercoagulative state...combine that with various clotting issues and you have a high risk of miscarriage). You may find nothing whatever, which can be good or frustrating, depending.

For what it's worth, I know several people who have had more than one miscarriage, consecutively, and who have gone on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies and healthy babies without any medical intervention whatsoever. I know other women who, for example, were put on blood thinners for the duration of any pregnancy due to clotting issues that were uncovered....and who had healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. And yes, I know women (including me) who had to have more medical intervention than that. Personally, I have two healthy children now.

Please, in addition to getting medical help, take care of yourself and deal with this however you need to. It can be very difficult to talk about miscarriage -- and in my experience most people, though not at all malicious, nonetheless manage to say some incredibly stupid things, unless they've been through it themselves (and even then). Personally, I found the internet to be a lifesaver -- for "research" purposes, yes, but I also found a lot of support on forums communicating with other women who had been where I was. I found some great women, and excellent information, on the forums at http://www.tcoyf.com, and subsequently also some good help at http://www.ivfconnections.com (it's not just about IVF).

Your body does not hate you. I promise you that.

Answer 2

I am so sorry. We are having a similar problem in my family. My sister-in-law and her husband have been try to have a child since the fall of 2005. She has had 4 miscarriages to date. The doctors have been unable to understand why she is not able to carry.

You will be able to have a child. Trust me, where there is a will there is a way. Your body may not be able to carry, but that doesn't and shouldn't mean that you were never ment to have a child. There are other options, surrogates, adoption.

I actually had some friends about 5 years ago who were unsuccessful in carrying a child, they went through the whole adoption process, and right before the picked up thier new child, she found out that she was pregnant again. The continued with the adoption, afraid that she would miscarry again, and she didn't. So instead, they now have 2 beautiful children that no one can image them without.

Things will get better!!! Trust me. I understand the pain and depression that goes along with this, just remember, yout husband and family are there for you, use them, talk with them.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your lost
I had 3 miscarriages
the first one I though that is was an act of God
the second one I try to tell myself the same things
but the third one I was so angry to make matters worst
11 days after I almost die from the D&C (because I lost so much blood ) my stepdaughter told my husband & I that she was not his father her mother told her so and that she was glad that I misc because she does not want to share her hanritance with another child (she is 20 years old)
as you can see she is not a child, she is actually living with a man
Now can you imagine, that day our lost seem to have quadrupel, last Christmas was the worst I ever had
because we were in our with home with someone that could hate us that much
but we make it, she call when she needs something and like 88 we will send her what she needs
but even if she is not blood she is still his child
now we are expecting and we have not told her yet
and we have no intention too
we also have no intention to ever invite her to our home again
she can have money from us but no more
I am not telling the story because it is related to you in anyway but because I want you to know that somethime life can throw some strange curve do not despare
You will get pregnant again
and you will carry to full term,
Be angry, take your time and mourn your baby
don't let anyone tell you what you should feel, you want to cry, cry, scream, release your feeling
and don't expect for you to get over it right a way it take time
I know when you crying for this you will be crying for the 1st one too
but the thing is their light at the end of the tunel
I though that I would never seen it, it tooke me 6 months of crying and anger to finally decided that I want to try again
and I did it now I am pregnant almost 10wks
but I am scared and since my doc is very nice and personal friend she make me come to her office every sat for a quich U/S to check on the baby

Again I am so sorry for your lost

Answer 4

I am so sorry you are going through this... My heart goes out to you. I too have suffered an early miscarriage before. I would definitely go to a specialist at this point. My cousin suffered 6 miscarriages until finally going to one that figured out she just had a blood clotting disorder and had to take an aspirin a day.... She is now the mom of 4 girls. Please don't give up, I know it's disheartening... However, there is all kinds of medical help out there. My prayers are with you.
Very Best Wishes!

Answer 5

My sister -in-law had several tragic miscarriages. I was very young at the time. Yestersday was her daughter's high school graduation party (her daughter is her youngest of two - a boy and a girl).

Take your time - One thing I remember is the doctor telling her to give her body time to rest and heal before getting pregnant again. When it is meant to be it will happen. If for some reason it doesn't, consider adoption or becoming a foster parent (which is MUCH needed EVERYWHERE). You obviously have much love to give and I hope you have as chance to share it with a child of your own soon.

Answer 6

Ok let me tell you something and I
REALLY want you to listen and do
what I say. Ask your Dr. to test you
for "Protien S deficiency". It's where
your blood clots up too much when
your pregnant and it can cause M/c's.
I had a m/c then a daughter then a
m/c and got pregnant with my son
by the time my dr decided to test me
for it and it was positive. Most drs wont
test unless you've had more then 4 m/c's
but thats so sad to have to experiance..
So really ask him to test you. If you do
have it you will have to give yourself
shots in your stomach every day of
a blood thinner but it will save you and
your babys life. I did it and it sounded
aweful at first but I'm so greatful now
I have my gorgeous boy and hopefully
I wont have to have any more m/c's
because I know whats wrong with me!
Good luck and I'm sorry to hear, I KNow
its so painful and upsetting but think of
how much better you can feel if you
find out whats causing this!!!

Answer 7

Although just a consolation had you considered that many women have a miscarriage and never know. (happens early on)

Nature in it's infinite wisdom often makes that happen when there is an issue not condusive to life. Better this than to have a miserably pained and disabled baby.

I have had similar situation.

What helped me is how many women came forward of all ages who had this happen in some point in life, or worse still lost an infant. It is more common than we know, it should be explained with the lecture on getting your period.

All women in childbearing years should TAKE FOLIC ACID, as suggested by march of dimes. Many issues present themselves before you are even aware of pregnancy.
Please consult your doctor as well. My mother had a double uterus. Lost several babies until she had a surgery and then me.

Answer 8

I had 2 miscarraiges and the 2nd was definitely tougher. I felt the same way... "My body hates me" "I am not a real woman", etc. My doctor told me something that made me feel a little better. He said that MOST miscarraiges occur because as the x and y chromosomes start to connect, if there are "misfires" or "abnormalities" between them, the fetus/embryos will abort themselves. Now, it makes sense to me and at least I felt better. We also found out that my blood clotted and starved the baby by clogging the placenta. Take some time and heal. Then get your blood and genetics checked of both you and your husband/signficant other.

Answer 9

I have had two miscarriages myself and it's very hard to handle. However, you may want to check with your doctor to rule out any problems. I'm not sure how far along you were or anything like that. But if it's something that is actually causing the miscarriages, it may be something that can be fixed so that it doesn't keep happening.

Answer 10

I am so terribly sorry this has happened to you girly. (((HUGS))). Miscarriages are more common than people think. They say 1 in 4 experience them. I can tell you I had a friend that had 3 miscarriages in a row and then went on to have a healthy baby boy AND subsequently another baby girl :) There is hope. Again, I am so sorry.