My wife does'nt like the crossdressing (but has bought me nightdresses before - then changed her mind about ever letting me wear them!!) - but she is cool about perfume, bought me Chanel Coco Mademoiselle last Christmas, and likes me wearing jewellery like amber bracelets...but hates - absolutely hates me wearing bras or high heels because she says they are 'too womanly' - I will always cross dress, just not in front of her because I don't want to hurt her. So what things would you tolerate - or not tolerate?
2007-06-25 10:24:02 · 12 answers · asked by jonoxk 3 in Beauty & Style ➔ Fashion & Accessories
I'd be happy for my partner to cross dress. He's still a red blooded heterosexual male and to be honest I'd find it really sexy and a big turn on!
It really is a personal preference though, and whilst I might be quite happy with it I get the feeling I'm in the minority. I understand that you don't wish to hurt your wife, and that that is paramount, but its sad that you can't share this part of you life with her and have to keep it separate.
It's very easy for people to feel threatened by things they don't understand, but it sounds like by buying you items like nightdresses she is really trying to understand this part of you, yet something about it still stops her accepting it entirely.
I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to this, as every relationship is different, and I'd never be one to judge, but maybe you should discuss with your wife why she feels this way and what exactly she dislikes about you going as far as wearing bras and high heels etc.? Why does she find it 'too womanly'? As with all issues affecting a relationship, there's nothing more important than clear communication.
All the best, and I hope you reach a compromise which makes you both happy and comfortable.
2007-06-25 10:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by h 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
People are complex individuals with all the personality traits within their grasp. Each one of us develops our personalities, feelings, and desires from who we are as we grow from infancy to maturity. These traits are not confined to ones sex organs (As we have been lead to believe). All of the traits exist in every one of us just waiting to be utilized. Sometimes our development is influenced by our environment, but we choose which traits we will cultivate from who we really are.
The stereotypes of gender are deceiving, because they limit us to the actions and passions of a certain group. If we display any thing outside our man-made group, then we are not adhering to the assigned stereotype and most other people have been programmed not to accept the inconsistency. They have been told such a person is somewhat defective and should be shunned or brought back into compliance so that the group will proceed in its usual stereotype.
We are who we are. You can deny it, act around it, or embrace it. If you want to "cross-dress" ( a stereotypical term of society), all the arrows of society will not change your desire, and your wife / partner needs to understand that. This has to be understood by both of you, so that building the kind of life you both feel good about can be possible. If you can't do it together, there is little hope for a great marriage / friendship. One of you will always feel slighted, denied, or rejected.
NOW! Men and women are different due to the nature of their part in the reproductive process. However, as human beings they are individuals of equal status in this existence. I know today's social standards strive to make you believe in an inequality between men and women. However, equality has to be true, just because it feels right, especially because we all are human beings.
I too have a dream that maybe some day, the apparel of a person will go back to being a personal decision, and people will interact as human beings instead of fashion experts and gender judges.
2007-06-25 22:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by histiletto 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all let me congratulate you on the way you value your wife's needs. She will respect you more for your understanding. Many wives of cross dressers complain that they feel like their husband's second love. Let your wive know that she will always come first.
Now about your conundrum. I suggest you wear men's pajamas. JCPenny makes a fine set of men's tricot nylon pajamas. Yes, they're the same material as nightdresses and they feel just as soft and feminine, but they are men's pajamas.
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=2652&CatID=29882&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=SIZ&ItemID=0ece2a9&ProdSeq=1&ProdCount=4&Dep=online+outlet+store&RefPage=SearchDepartment&ShowMenu=T&ShopBy=0&SearchString=mens+pajamas&S4DeptID=2652&mscssid=6e7e210fe8ec046aa955e8cacc5fe7459xMnVNoVzaGoxMnVNoVzaGW200B80650F77FB951CBA1A694B990C54E81F0717800&CmCatId=SearchResults|SearchDepartment.
At those prices order several. Wear two pairs of the pants so that they will slip against each other.. It should feel sensual. Speaking of slips, consider wearing a slip underneath. You will still look masculine.
2007-06-26 20:54:58 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I`m a drag queen & when i started doing it i got really messed up in the head and even considered a sex change! After speaking to family and friends i realised it was me getting the drag & my normal life mixed together(which is not good! you gotta know where to draw the line) My partener of 2years is very butch & hated trannies but we got wasted 1 night & he let me give him a make over(he looked very good) & he is cool about it which i`m very glad of.I don`t work the clubs very often as i work as a trolly dolly 4an airline but when i do my bf is always there to help me get ready.When he comes home from work i`m normally wearing heels and he`s cool about it.U should respect your wifes wishes and introduce her to it slowly.If u do i know she will except it.If you need to talk email me.
2007-06-25 18:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by jay boy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If my husband likes to cross-dress, then he has to dress-up just like a girl and be just as feminine as a girl. I'd let him borrow my clothes at first, but I'd make him go shopping as a girl to buy his own clothes and shoes so he won't have to borrow mine.
2007-06-27 02:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt tolerate bras or high heels eathier! I would be ok with jewelry and perfume and stuff though.
2007-06-25 17:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I wouldn't tolerate cross dressing at all.
2007-06-25 17:28:04 · answer #7 · answered by Leah 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
ah well. if you really couldn't stop wearing all that stuff.
i would stop with the bra and high heals because they are quite womanly!!
2007-06-25 17:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by foxmyworld 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Only perfume would be tolerated !!!!!!!! Nothing else !!
2007-06-25 21:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by Teeyanah 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i will tolerate everything
2007-06-27 00:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by john 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋