to do anal anymore.Can a man get use to the fact that a woman is no longer willing to do something she never enjoyed doin in the first place?
2007-06-25 10:09:56 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can I be honest with you sweetie?
I was dating and married a man who only wanted it that way, I left him because not only did he NOT want vaginal intercourse, he was also abusive.
The next man I met, was the same and I did not know until I married him that he was sick this way too.
Both men I left within a year, I could not handle that that was the ONLY way they wanted sex.
I mean it, THE ONLY way!
I think I had normal sex with each one 1 time, but then they went back to plugging the back door.
They said they fit better in the back end, granted 1 was 10 and the other a 6...but what does size have to do with it?
I think they were just sick in the head!
It was not until I met my Rabbit Man, that I finally found out what real sex could be like.
And I love it, and he HATES and refuses to do me that way, he says that it is degrading and against his religious beliefs to "hump a woman's rump"
So, he will have to get over it, or find a new woman...because I would never do it again!
Not to mention, as you get older...it can cause you all sorts of problems!
HUGS N BLESSINGS!
2007-06-25 10:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without getting into what he likes judgementally (as what happens between spouses behind closed doors should generally be their business) the main issue here is if you founded part of the your relationship on a lie?
If he was honest and open about his expectations and desires but you were not has this had a big impact to the sexual compatibility of you two as a couple? If this is a minor part of your relationship and isn't a big deal maybe you can do a little "give and take" and he'll let it go.
If this is a huge thing for him you have a problem that can start to tear your marriage apart. It could be that he's feeling betrayed because you've been lying to him about something important to him and on the other side you may feel used and depressed about something you dread and hate. This will start to manifest itself in all kinds of ways in your marriage until you address it.
It's not fair for you to suffer and do things you don't like, but it may not be very fair for him to suffer for your lie either. I would recommend you get some marriage counselling as soon as possible so you can start to deal with this issue as a team and not let it be the focal point of fighting in your relationship.
2007-06-25 18:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read all the current replies and I think I'm coming at this from a little different angle. Obviously he enjoys that with with you or you wouldn't have been doing it for 10 years with him. There is no "replacement" for that, btw. So you are talking about taking away something that he really enjoys. If he really loves you then it won't be a huge issue, but the thought will always be in the back of his mind. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment, what if he suddenly decided to stop doing one fo your favorite things? How would it make you feel? Better yet, you've been with your husband a long time...how do you think he's going to feel about it? You will probably be right.
2007-06-25 17:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to take the sexual aspect out of it right here and tell you what anal sex can do. My mom has been a nurse all my 36 years of life, and I have heard my share of stories from her about people coming into the ER with their bowels hanging out and needing surgery to repair them, all because of anal sex. She's seen both gay men and hetero women in this situation more than once. And surgery is not always a complete cure - sometimes they literally end up wearing adult diapers for life because they can no longer hold it in.
The anus is, biologically speaking, exit-only for a reason. A once in a blue moon occasion of entry might be okay IF it is very gentle (tissue in there is much easier to tear), but frequent anal sex will cause problems as described. If your hubby loves you, he needs to understand the medical position he is putting you in.
2007-06-25 17:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly....once you've brought something to the table, it's pretty unfair to ask them to get used to no longer having it.
You should have dealt with this long ago. He obviously assumed you enjoyed yourself...and in a way you've been lying to him for 10 years. That's going to be a huge disappointment to him. You need to ask yourself why you lied to him in the first place. He wouldn't do this act with you if thought you disliked it, would he?
I'm not saying you should continue you doing it if it makes you uncomfortable, but you have a much bigger problem. 10 years is a long time to play a game with someone. Just be honest, and tell him why you no longer want to do it.
I'm sure he will understand, but he is not going to be happy.
Good luck.
2007-06-25 17:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Lane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Linda
No men can live for 10 years without this (if he is normal). Relating to your previous question , i say , if you find that he is living normally , without doing it for 10 years, then there are two probabilities,
1)- He is also just like you (Made for each other), which is one possibilities in millions.
2)- Home is not the only place for men to get this ! (i don't see it as bad, because this way he can live normal , & let you to live normally as per your psychology).
I tell you , that the sexual satisfaction is the mejor cause (>60%) of divorse world wide. So no way it is possible , unless option 1) is there.
MOON (INDIA)
2007-06-26 02:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by Moon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A man who respects people will neither demand or expect others to perform acts contrary to their wishes. That includes the wife. Your husband is not such man. Are you aware that a wife can charge her husband with rape if she doesn't want to have sex at that moment and he forces her to?
Nancy Reagan: Just Say No.
2007-06-25 17:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 10 years you have just up and decided this is not for u???
what happened??? Why did you do it in the first place???
2007-06-25 17:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clearly communicate in a loving way that it just isnt doing it for you anymore. But I agree with what ive seen here....better offer a substitute. Yes, he can live without it. But don't be surprised if he's pretty upset about it too.
2007-06-25 18:35:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he can. But you will have to be really honest with him about how you feel and what you want. Of course, you will have to let him be really honest with you too. The bigger question here is why were you doing things that you didn't really want to do? Are you afraid that if you don't do what he says he will be angry and/or leave? There is something deeper to your question.
2007-06-25 17:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by Brent 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋