I am 14 years can't i go out with a 20-year-old guy??

Question

My problem that I am 14 years old and I was born in 1993 and I like a 20-years-old guy and he also likes me,,,so are the difference in ages is so much?,,,aren't we in the same age ?,,
Is difference 6 or 7 years in age is much ??
all I need to know that me who was born in 1993 is from the generation who were born in 1986 or 1987 or no???

Answer 1

Wait 3 or 4 years and see if you still like him. Or visit him in jail. Your choice.

Answer 2

The physical number of years isnt that much really, but its six years where even 1 year makes a huge change.
Its the mental age between you I think that is the major problem. It may not seem like a problem to you but you will be into very different things. He will be going out clubbing and there is no way you will get in with him, and you shouldnt be drinking really at your age.
I dont want to sound like a preachy parent but try and find yourself a lad thats 15 or 16 at the most. Honestly, it will cause no end of trouble otherwise, both for you and especially this 20 year old lad. He might be forced onto the sex offenders register even though you two havent done anything.
BTW, I am 20 years old and a parent.

Answer 3

I agree with most of the others. The age gap wouldn't matter so much if you were in your twenties but at 14, it does. You're both in completely different stages in your lives. You have at least 2 years left in school, right? Or something like that? He's been finished school at least two years, maybe longer. And no offence to you, I'm sure you're a lovely girl, but what does a 20 year old want to go out with a 14 year old for? He's using you, pet. Don't let him! You seem like a nice girl, find someone your own age and let him do the same!

Answer 4

A physical/sexual relationship would be illegal as you are under 16. So does he want to be with YOU or be with your BODY?

The mind and lifestly of a 14 yr and 20yr old are very different. A lot happens in that age gap like education, work, drinking, driving, bills, life experiencve, independence etc. It may nto seem much but it really is.

I am 23, my fiance 29. Now the age gap isnt a problem we got together when I was 20 and he was 26. We were both at similar stages of life. At 14 your still in school, still illegal to do nearly everything, you've got life to live! I still find it wierd now thinking he left school before I'd even started Upper School :)

Answer 5

If he likes you enough - he'll wait till you are 16.

You would have nothing in common with him - he's had more life experience than you, will want to go out drinking/clubbing etc. that you aren't old enough to do, you can't go to pubs or bars with him.

You can't legally sleep with him, so what's the point.

If he likes and respects you, and you both feel there is something there, become good friends and wait a couple of years till you're 16. If he's the one, it doesn't matter how long it takes cus you can wait for it. If it's worth waiting for you'll wait. If he won't wait, then he only wants one thing.

But no, I don't think there's anything wrong with an age gap if both people are over 16.

xx

Answer 6

It depends on if he's a nice , decent guy, you should become friends first if so and then if he is the right guy he will wait until your 16 before starting a proper adult relationship. If you go ahead now it could cause a lot of trouble, from your parents, possibly the police, friends of you both- is it worth all the heartache??

I understand you liking an older guy, i was 14yrs when i met a 28 yr old guy, he was wonderful, very romantic ( i lied told him i was 16) he proposed after a month and i had to tell him my real age, it caused hell of a lot of trouble, with his parents, my parents liked him, he was attacked by gangs (he's a big guy and whopped their asses lol) but still not a nice experience. We had years of hate and torment, but loved each other so much we were determined to fight till the end of the earth to be together.

Anyway its 10 years on, a lot has happened since we met but were still together- and very much in love. Im 24yrs, he's 38 yrs, we bought a house when i was 17yrs , got married when i was 21yrs and have an 8 month old baby, the new love of our lives. People may say pervert, but if he is why am i his biggest desire after all these years? and if he met a real pervert he'd be the first to rip his wotsits off.

So sometimes there are happy endings but please go with caution and if he seems only after 1 thing, maybe back off and wait for a nice fella who has your best interests at heart.

Answer 7

All I can tell you is that when I was 15 I was dating a 21 year old and we fell in love with each other. Now I'm 17 and he's 23 and were still together (because we still love each other), and we've done everything the right way, AND we're getting married next year. There isn't an age for love. Now if you and him JUST like each other and it's nothing serious than be careful, I was one of the few who get a good guy, and most guys his age are just looking for fun and girls.

Answer 8

I agree with a lot of these other folks. Unless you want to visit him in jail, hands off. There are times when 6 years is a huge difference. The difference between a 4 year old and a 10 year old for example. While not so glaring, the difference between a 14 year old and 20 year old is still too big.

Answer 9

YES the age gap is too much This sounds very inapproprate to me . stick to boys your own age for a few years. MEN of 20, 21 years old should not be interested in underage girls . Where would you go out to, he is too old for under 18 clubs and it is 4 years till you can go in to night clubs or pubs . The Law might take a dim view of this too .and if you were found to be having sexual relations he could end up in prision . 16 and 22/23 are more acceptable so if it is ment to be waiting a couple of years (,years when you have big decisions to make and need to concentrate on shaping your whole future life and getting your GCSE) will do no harm.

Answer 10

Although it doesn't seem like much now sweetheart, please take the time to listen to me, because I have been in your shoes. I know you like him and he likes you, but it would never work out at the moment. He is 6 years older than you. You have all of your teenage years ahead of you, so many wonderful things to experience. This guy has done this, and will prevent you experiencing what you are entitled to.
Secondly, you will not be able to do the same things. You cannot go to pubs or clubs with him, and he isn't going to be happy sitting in or hanging around street corners all the time. (which I'm not saying you do)
Thirdly, if you sleep with him (which I hope you haven't) that counts as rape. Anyone can report him to the police and he WILL be sent to prison, even if you say you wanted to do it. (happened to me)
Lastly sweetheart, and I don't want to disrespect you or this guy, but it sounds really suspicious to me when a 20 year old tells a 14 year old he wants to be with her. I think he wants to be with you for one thing, and no matter how much you like him, I hope you have enough self respect to say no. You shouldn't let yourself be used by him, and even though you probably can't see it now, you have NOTHING in common with him.
My advice is to wait a couple of years, and if you like him then at least you will have enjoyed your youth, and you can be with him without any possibility of him being sent to prison for being with you! Please take a step back and listen to me pet. I wish someone had told me when I was younger. Forget the year you were born for a while and look at the bigger picture. If he really likes you now he will wait.

Answer 11

6 or 7 years older than you is fine if you are 20 and he is 26, no problem. But what you want to do is illegal and he knows that. He could be arrest and spend a few years in jail, is that what you want?

Tell him to go away and come back in a few years when you have both grown up. If you still feel the same way about each other then you can begin a relationship.