To the older gay & lesbians?

Question

This question is for the people who don't need financial assistance from their families to live. Please help me understand why it would be so difficult to come out to your family if you're not living with them, I really want to understand? My mother harps on me on a daily basis & I tell her to **** off everytime she starts with me. Is it that I'm just rude or maybe don't care enough? I think my mother should accept my decisions regardless if she thinks I'm making huge mistakes & support me,end of story. I just wish I understood why you don't tell those who don't accept you to go to hell.

To the people who said they respect their elders. I love my mother dearly but I will not put up with disrespect. As an adult you must earn someones respect, it's not a given. If I'm 80 & I say that being gay is an abomination, I DESERVE NO RESPECT. I should be told to go to hell.

Answer 1

My parents threw me out when they found out I was gay, and I survived. I guess that set the tone for my not giving a shite what anyone thinks of me.
I never was close to my family, so I don't understand family dynamics AT ALL. But my friends like or love me for who I am and that's good enough for me.

There is somebody who's sorta like a Mom to me and she rocks! But she likes me for who I am, not who she wants me to be.

Answer 2

Many people continue to "need" their families emotionally long after they move out and get jobs. This can range from a healthy concern about what Mom or Dad, as a trusted friend and role model, thinks, to a guilty and shameful set of feelings arising from a less healthy family dynamic. If you are currently an adolescent, you may not be able to fully understand yet what it's like to be an adult son/daughter.

Answer 3

I came out later in life. and once my brothers found out, they haven't spoken to me since. The last time I spoke with them, I said something along the lines of "This is me. I'm still the same person I always have been. I haven't changed not one bit. The only difference is that now you know about the part I kept hidden for 20 plus years. Here I am. Like it or lump it. At this point in my life, I really don't care."
I know I've never been happier, and I just met someone who makes me even more so.

Answer 4

Although I don't care if my mother or family approves of me or not I still would never disrespect my mother or father like that. I don't have to resort to that to live my life the way I want to. Yes, I'm grown and I take care of me and mine; so I don't need their approval for anything. I can come and go around my family as I please so their is really no need to be nasty.

Answer 5

Exactly, but you should aproach her when she starts, by being calm and you need not explain yourself, polietly, say I must go I love you Mom, do you love me, then leave. Do not fight this gives her the upper hand, because she knows she can get to you, ingnore it and let her come to you after that, but do not fight with her she already knows how you feel. I am not saying you are wrong, I am trying to help you cope.

Answer 6

Because THEY RAISED ME...I owe them at least the respect and acknowledgement of that.

I'm sorry, but I care about what they think because they have always been there for me in the past.

I was raised to RESPECT my parents...regardless of how old I get.



Granted, I was really lucky when I finally did come out and they were very supportive...I still cared about their reaction.

Answer 7

Out of respect for my elders i don't tell them To Go To Hell! Everyone else already know where they can go!

Answer 8

Exactly. It's your life. Your choice to find your own happiness. It's your mother that has the problem not you.