i've been in love with this man sience i was 12-13 years old. when i turned 20 we got together (he said he prayed to God for me). now, 8 years and 2 kids latter he doesn't want to be with me. his new girlfriend has 3 kids by 2 diffrent fathers. I gave him all i could give as a women and he just ups and leaves just like that. as time goes on i'm realizing that almost every man that comes accross my path is out for one thing. i'm not a your girl in junor high or high school i''m a women with goals and responsabilities. I don't see anyone offering me anything i can't buy in a store for myself. How do i get past the hurt, pain and confusion of this situation with out losing myself in the process.?
2007-06-25 09:07:37 · 16 answers · asked by miss_g2300 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The pain you feel is temporary, as you know, but the bigger issue (and one that will impact the rest of your life) may be to look less at men's shortcomings and look extremely carefully at your "picker." Are you choosing (picking) men or are men finding something within you that attracts those who are below the standard you would rather have in your life?
Finally, the realities are that each of us chooses partners based on our emotional level. If our partners are usually people of low substance and character, you'll find that you will have continued problems; conversely, if you're very healthy then mostly healthy men (men with integrity, substance, depth, honesty, etc.) will come into your life since your "picker" will not be broken.
Good luck!
2007-06-25 09:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know what to say. I've never been married or have had any kids with anybody but here's what I think. The hurt is going to stay with you for a little while. Some days it won't be as bad and other days it will be like it happened all over again. I was once in a relationship with somebody who is just there for the ride, not the journey. You can't let those who can't stick it out with you bring you down. You won't lose yourself but somewhere inside you got to find a strong determination within yourself to go forward.
2007-06-25 09:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by sigmarigel@verizon.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To start of.... You have lost nothing, he is the looser. Your head are straight and strong on your shoulders. Men (i am one to:) in general are out for 'something'. But somewhere out there are also a man that have lost something and feels the same towards women like you feel about men. Must remind you there are a lot of evil women to, but much more 'graceful' than men and that makes them very very dangerous. I think your ex has run into one of them (Feel sorry for him) The Lord ALWAYS provide, but at His Time and Will and not at ours. Just be careful, go on with your life, i know it's difficult
with the pain, but time heals all wounds and the pain with it's scares will disappear. Trust me The Lords KNOWS!
2007-06-25 09:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by johann_777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, that's unbelievable!!!! I'm very sorry for your loss!!!
This is going to take you years to get over and you'll always carry the memory!!
This is the kind of stuff that can destroy people forever and I hope you are one of the few who can find strength from your tragedy!!
Don't take booze or drugs but perhaps immerse yourself in some new activity that will totally redirect your mind and heart.
You can't stop the pain but maybe you can distract it for a few hours every day.
2007-06-25 09:28:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U've got ur children 2 keep u strong. Ur moving ahead and he's not even worth a backward glance, let the other woman have him b/c she's loving nothing. If he left u 4 her, what makes her think he won't do the same 2 her.
2007-06-25 09:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Miss g but you need to look for a man and not a boy. Stop defining yourself in terms of who you are with. And yes most men are looking for one thing and when you give it to them without a wedding ring on your finger eventually they will leave for the next thing that comes along.
2007-06-25 09:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dating is hard as a single parent. When you go out on dates with men do not expect a relationship. Just take things slow and enjoy your own life. when you are not looking is when the right person is around the corner.
2007-06-25 09:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. Find activities for yourself without your kids from time to time. join a local womens group and get involved in your local religous community. Men today have too many choices and women need to be better in thier morality and
choice of mate. We need to go back to old school dating.
Be strong on do not settle for less.
2007-06-25 09:22:40 · answer #8 · answered by Djuna C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. There is nothing that I can say that will make it any better. I would ask you to find the silver lining (believe it or not there is always a positive side to it) and what ever you do please don't think that all men are like that. Some of us are not that way.
I will remember you in my prayers and know that you will find the strength to make it through this difficult time.
If you ever need a friend to talk to please feel free to email me.
2007-06-25 09:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by Rod 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... Losing a husband isn't like losing a puppy... Going out to find another puppy isn't going to fix the problem... You need friends... you need time for yourself... You've never gotten to know yourself all these years, you've been living since you were a child for someone else. Find youself. Give yourself time... Enjoy life... Make friends... lots of friends. Surround yourself in their support. Make male friends too... Then one day someone special will find you... It will happen if you make time for it...
Don't get into another relationship for at least two years...
2007-06-25 09:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by Moose 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋